A Mystic’s Lent: A Guide to Holy Observation

Icon - Risen ChristReprinted from Elephant Journal; first publication 3/8/11
Reprinted from LasaraAllen.com; second publication 3/11
Updated and printed here, 2/5/2012
Update, 2/11/2013

I am not, nor have I ever been, your typical Christian. Most wouldn’t even call me Christian, though I would say my spiritual reality is very catholic (small “c” intentional) and I do have my own special relationship with Christ.

I am in no way claiming to be your spiritual adviser in these things. As a Mystic, you most likely draw from many faiths as I do, finding merit in each. Religion is a veil gracing the heart of what prayer and spiritual practice offer. (You say thief, I say liberator!)

As a Mystic you are also your own Priest, and therefore vested with the power to administer your own sacramentals. (I say Mystic, you say heretic!)

As with any spiritual under taking, intention is everything. So in choosing the way you want to observe Lent, remember that it’s not the destination that matters, but the journey. In other words, it’s not about “making it to Easter”, it’s about learning from the experience.

1. Basics of Lent: Lent is the roughly 40-day period between Ash Wednesday (in this case, February 13, 2013) and Holy Thursday (March 28). Holy Thursday is the end of Lent, and the beginning of the three holy days of Easter.

2. Three Pillars: There are three pillars of Lent in traditional Catholicism. The pillars are fasting, prayer, and alms-giving. The basic premise of these spiritual undertakings;

a. Fasting isn’t really about not eating, it’s about what you learn from not eating, or how you allow not eating to alter your perception. It can also be about allowing yourself temporary liberation from the cycle of eat-or-be-eaten, getting really high on just your breath, or allowing yourself the space to allow for worship to become a higher order of priority than bodily needs. Spiritual fasting is a varied experience. People do it for all kinds of reasons, and get all kinds of results. I recommend that as you fast, you noticing your hunger. Experience your hunger as the hunger of that Rumi had for conversation with Shamz. That Teresa of Avila had for Christ.

b. Prayer is an adjunct to spiritual fasting that makes the whole more than the sum of its parts. When the energy of hunger is turned to a fevered devotion, prayer becomes a love song to God.

c. Alms-giving is a way to make the concept of sacrifice foundational and interactive. What are you willing to give up in order to benefit the lives of those around you? In your chosen hunger are you willing to feed with your food those who don’t choose hunger? Are you willing to offer your time, energy and intention to putting the words “love your neighbor” into action?

3. How-To, for the Mystic:

a. Ash Wednesday: “Remember, O man, that you are dust, and unto dust you shall return.” —Genesis 3:19.

Ash Wednesday is the day when you see Catholics walking around with ash crosses on their foreheads. You, as your own Priest, will want to prepare a mixture of ash and oil. If you’d like, the ash can be from a piece of paper with a “sin” you’d like to eradicate written on it.

Once cool take the ash, make the paste, and paint a cross on your forehead with the ash, recognizing your willingness to bow before the Will of the power greater than yourself.

b. Build Your Lent: How much do you want to fast? What do you want to abstain from? What are you willing to tithe or offer up? Will you fast with water only? Bread and water? One single meal in a day instead of three? Any of these options, or even less stringent undertakings such as eating lightly, forgoing meat, or forgoing other foods you enjoy. Or even foods you just eat habitually.

How do you want to enact the teachings of Christ?

This is not about the sacrifice that Christ made, but about the sacrifices you are willing to make in order to become more Christ-like. What actions can you surrender, and what actions can you commit to, that will allow the light of Christ to flourish within you?

c. Holy Thursday, aka Thursday of Mysteries. Now it’s about Christ. This is a commemoration of the Last Supper.

After the last super was that night under the olive trees in the Garden of Gethsemane. “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.” Reflect upon the Sacrifice that Christ was facing. What cup of poison are you shying away from? Will you take the cup, or will you flee?

Spend this night in reflection of what’s being asked of you by God.

d. Holy Friday is a commemoration of the crucifixion of Christ. Traditionally this is a day of fasting and mourning. If you really want to go for it you could spend Friday dressed in sack-cloth and covered in ashes, or taking a more direct and experiential connection with the Passion of the Christ, spend the night in a cave wrapped in nothing but a shroud.

e. The Easter Vigil begins Saturday evening. You may take Saturday as another fasting day, clearing the ash and dust from your soul, until evening which is the officially the beginning of Holy Sunday, otherwise known as…

f. Resurrection Day! You’ve made it! What an amazing day. What have you been reborn to, aside from the love of Christ? Or, in addition to it? Eat, drink, and be merry, bathed in the Light of Love and Rebirth!

I hope you have enjoyed your journey through this Mystic’s guide to Lent. May it provide good food – and fast – for thought.

Amen.

Hello, 2013!

2012 was a pretty rough one, and I’m super grateful to my guides the messages they brought me throughout the year, and also deeply grateful for the practices that were given to me by Spirit.

In 2012 I realized that I know how to do “hard,” and “heavy”, and “work at it”, and “scary”. I’ve been doing those for a long time. I decided I was ready to learn how to do “easy” and “fun”. And I even got tools and Medicine that helped me to define what that even meant, and how to actually know how and when to do it, safely.

Fun and easy doesn’t automatically feel fun and easy for some of us. Some of us do, actually, need to learn it.

Turtle Medicine showed up for me with the Beltaine Full Moon in Scorpio. So many things came clear with Turtle Medicine. Even things I had been teaching for years gained a deeper purchase in me.

Honestly, I have no idea how I would have made it through all that made 2012 what it was without the “fun and easy” mojo going, and the tools to back that up. Don’t get me wrong; it wasn’t about everything all of a sudden becoming fun and easy. It was about knowing how to tell when the tide was turning, and being fine with retreating into my shell if things started feeling anything less than safe. Something about knowin’ when to hold ‘em, when to fold ‘em, when to walk away, when to run…

That said, there was much fun to be had. And I had a lot of it! I allowed myself to have fun in ways I didn’t know I was capable of, and watched the grace and ease with which others have fun, and learned from it. I look forward to expanding on these lessons in 2013.

I love learning. 2012 called for a lot of it. And I feel like I’m a better person for it. And that I know myself better. And I do have more fun, and more ease. And I have amazing kids, and an amazing man, and a roof over my head, and food to eat, and for chirissake more abundance than I can easily sit with sometimes.

And, yeah, did I mention that I do have the most amazing kids and the most amazingly perfect-for-me husband? It bears repeating. Because whenever I feel even the littlest bit off center, that’s what I fall back on. My family. It’s a good one. A little pod full of love and respect. My life-raft.

So, from this place of gratitude for all that I have, and all that I have learned, and all that I am embracing for the coming year, I wish you and yours, and me and mine, a magickal 2013, full of ease, fun, abundance, and joyful flow.

Now, in the tradition of my own tradition – not so traditional…commitments, intentions, and why-the-hell-nots?

Commitments:

I commit to rebuilding an even better relationship with this body of mine. Good food, lots of water, exercise, activity, dance, singing, being in it because it feels good to be, and the more I’m in it the better it feels.

I commit to treating my man with continued devotion. This is where we are. THIS is ALWAYS where we are. Right here. I will show up for and with you exactly where we are at. No expectation; only love.

I commit to treating my daughters with love, respect, and JOY! I promise to support both of you in growing more and more fully into who you are becoming, in ways that are healthy, supportive, and just. I also commit to making time to have fun with you both, together and separately. Watching The New Girl, going to yoga or dance class together, taking little trips, crafting days, summer road adventures and festivals, picnics in the parcourse. I promise. (And you promised too! I heard you!) You guys are growing up so quick, and you’ll be moving out before we even know what hit us. I will treat the time we have together like the cherished thing it is.

I commit to my larger family to use my voice, and my lack of voice, in service of healing. Sometimes silence truly is golden.

I commit to my community of friends new and old to come out and play. And to teach. And to learn. And to dance. And to sing. We will sit in circles, and dance in meadows, and learn and teach from and with one another. And together, we will heal.

I commit to my friends from across the world, who I never get to see, to continue keeping the prayers in my heart and on my lips.

I commit to all beings pervading space and time to work the work of enlightenment, for the benefit of all beings.

Intentions:
I intend to have more fun, to walk forward with ease and trust, more trust and more ease every day. I intend to experience joy in my family, my work, my body. I intend to write. I intend to reinvest in my yoga practice. I intend a major shift toward the light. |

AND, I intend to maintain awareness of the magicks of Turtle medicine. Slow and steady wins the race.

I intend to dress up and go out, and to do so with my man when he wants, and by myself or with friends when he doesn’t. I intend to go DO things, just because they sound fun.

I intend to worry less, and laugh more this year.

Why-the-hell-not?
You know, this is a category I don’t really have such a huge need for right now. Crazy, but I’m already doing a whole lotta “why the hell not?” Okay, maybe one; cherish the down-time. Make space for it. Create an altar to silence. Ah. Yes. That.

Save Sexy Witch!

UPDATE!!!
WE WON!!! Annamaria Pope has dropped all claims to Sexy Witch!!! Thank you a million times for your loving support.

ALSO, I am still fundraising. It is now essential for me to trademark the aspects of Sexy Witch that I use. See more below.
I cannot thank you enough! My heart has been bolstered by the outpouring of donations and kind words from my community. Please know that if there is anything I can do to repay your kind support in the future, I will.

Now, some housekeeping; PLEASE CEASE ANY AND ALL CONTACT with Ms. Pope, her attorney, and any other associates. Ms. Pope has been spreading rumors that she has received death threats, and saying that she is afraid for her own life and for her children’s well-being.

I KNOW that none of you would have done this (as we all know, the Witches’ Creed begins with, “An It Harm None…”. I also know for a fact that Ms. Pope has many enemies – completely unrelated to the Sexy Witch trademark issue.

All the same, an immediate cessation of contact is required.

ALSO, I am still fundraising. It is now essential for me to trademark the aspects of Sexy Witch that I use. The cost for this will be approximately another $1550. (Because my lawyer, XXX ESQUIRE, Al Gelbard, is amazing, and doesn’t overcharge his clients! Thank you, Al. You rock.) I am raising $2000 just to be on the safe side. And, this money needs to be in hand ASAP. The deadline for this round is…ASAP!

Again, click “ChipIn” to contribute.
If you are accessing this page via a mobile device and cannot see the ChipIn Widget,
please paypal donations to lasara.allen.mpnlp@gmail.com. Put “Sexy Witch Trademark Legal Fund” in the notes or subject line.
Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart. It seems strange to me that this challenge to my teaching would come up as part of my “2012 Initiation”, but who knows what moves The Powers That Be? There has been deep learning in it for me.

The biggest lesson by far; the other night, Uncle Oberon said to me; “You’ve been a lone warrior out in the field. You have to let us help you fight your battle. It’s time to accept the support of your community.” I did. And look what happened!

And in the magick of it all, Uncle Oberon – as my Champion – has done even more of his wonderful and courageous work in healing the wound between women and men. He is truly devoted to the Goddess, in all Her forms.

And, yes, magick works. Thank you all for your powerful support.

May you find light and warmth within the darkness, and healing in every challenge you face.

Bless!

-Lasára Allen

P.S. Here are some other ideas on how you can help help:

1. Order a SIGNED, PERSONALIZED copy (or copies) of Sexy Witch from me. Buy a copy for yourself, your friend(s), your lover(s). I will Send copies out via priority mail, and you can give them as Yule/X-mas gifts. These copies cost more than the ones you’d order off Amazon or Llewellyn, but they are signed, and proceeds (after cost – about $15 for me, including shipping) will benefit my fund. Copies cost $25. Again, signed and personalized! paypal me at lasara.allen.mpnlp@gmail.com, and include “BOOK ORDER” in info/subject.

2. SIGN UP FOR MY UPCOMING SEXY WITCH TELECOURSE! (Are you local to Mendocino County? Sign up for the face-to-face option!) The funds from these classes (which were supposed to be going to, you know, life and stuff) will be going toward legal costs.

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

THIS would be illegal to post, if the contested TM went through.

Things are moving forward with step one of the suit. WE SUCCESSFULLY FUNDRAISED THE FEE FOR THE RETAINER!

THANK YOU for your amazing, heart-expanding, beautiful support. I feel lifted up and healed by all of you. And even kinda madly in love with my community. Thank you for renewing our romance. ;) I am blessed to have so much love and support in my life. You have all healed my heart in this.

While your defense of me toward Ms. Pope has been admirable, my attorney has asked that we now cease contact with Ms. Pope. While I am still raising funds (there will be further costs after the retainer), any further contact with Ms. Pope or her representative is ill-advised at this time.

That said…

Please donate via the ChipIn widget below! Click “ChipIn” to contribute.
The opening fees for retainer for my amazing attorney, the incomparable XXXEsquire, Al Gelbard, were raised in days! Oh my goodness, THANK YOU ALL!

THERE WILL BE FURTHER COSTS.
I have begun a new “chip-in” project in order to move forward and protect the trademark from further infringement.

My attorney knows exactly what to do next. I have absolute faith and trust in his integrity and abilities. And, this sort of thing costs money, as we well know.

If Sexy Witch is important to you, please help me protect my right to be able to talk about it, teach about it, and coach from it.

Scroll down to “ChipIn”, OR, here are some other ideas on how to help:

1. Order a SIGNED, PERSONALIZED copy (or copies) of Sexy Witch from me. Buy a copy for yourself, your friend(s), your lover(s). I will Send copies out via priority mail, and you can give them as Yule/X-mas gifts. These copies cost more than the ones you’d order off Amazon or Llewellyn, but they are signed, and proceeds (after cost – about $15 for me, including shipping) will benefit my fund. Copies cost $25. Again, signed and personalized! paypal me at lasara.allen.mpnlp@gmail.com, and include “BOOK ORDER” in info/subject.

2. SIGN UP FOR MY UPCOMING SEXY WITCH TELECOURSE! (Are you local to Mendocino County? Sign up for the face-to-face option!) The funds from these classes (which were supposed to be going to, you know, life and stuff) will be going toward legal costs, should the case go past the first round. Even if the case is summed up quickly, there will be additional funds needed to secure the trademarks for my own use.


Again, click “ChipIn” to contribute.

If you are accessing this page via a mobile device and cannot see the ChipIn Widget,
please paypal donations to lasara.allen.mpnlp@gmail.com.
Put “Sexy Witch Trademark Legal Fund” in the notes or subject line.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT!
AGAIN, PLEASE DO NOT CONTACT ANNAMARIA POPE or her attorney! I asked you to do it, you did, and my attorney says we’ve now had the desired effect. So, I’m calling on the tribe to cease contact with Ms. Pope and her attorney. Anything more from us is over the top, and could do more harm than good. Thank you thank you thank you. You are my s/heroes! And my champions. I’m blessed to have you all beside me.

THANK YOU!!!

Gift Buying with Consciousness – A Guide to Compassionate Consumerism

Often my anti-consumerist, smaller footprint, “live simply” self, and my “the kids deserve the joy that materialism so easily delivers”, acquisitive, affluenza-suffering self war with each other.

Especially during birthdays, and holidays. During these special days I, like every other conscious consumer, enter the battlefield of who to buy for, what to buy, and why? And, most importantly, HOW?

For your consideration, some guidelines I came up with for my own conscious and compassionate consumerism:

1. Remember that every dollar is a vote. When you spend, you are voting for the survival of one “contender” over another. You’re contributing to the policies, and politics, of the corporation you buy from. Choose accordingly.

2. Locally owned companies need your support to stay afloat. So, keep chain store gift buying to a bare-minimum. If you’re going to spend your “hard-earned” cash, spend it where it helps the most.

3. Gift with products and services you believe in. Organic cotton socks may be out of your price range ($50 for five pairs? Yikes!), but, see # 4.

4. Buy products and services produced and offered by people you know. You probably know a lot of really great folks, doing really great things. Artists and artisans, musicians, writers, massage therapists and body workers, hairstylists and aestheticians, fix-it guys and gals, coaches, teachers, carpenters, tarot readers, florists.

Instead of an item that may or may not go to waste, why not purchase a gift certificate for a massage, a dollar amount at a local store, a commissioned piece of art from an artist friend, classes, or a glorious spa day? Look at it this way; not many of these are things most of us would buy for ourselves right now. Not with the economy being so bad. So why not feed the “giftees” heart with some gentle R and R, a feast for the soul, or the gift of beauty?

This doesn’t need to be a big expenditure, either. Get a gift certificate for lunch at the locally owned taquería. You’re out ten bux, and your friend is in for a great lunch!

Keep in mind that when you buy from friends, you gift twice. You support your friend in her or his commitment to “right livelihood”, and you give a quality, personal gift to the recipient.

5. Attempt to fully and presently give the gift of yourself. Relax into the experience of it, stay present in the joy of times shared with loved ones. Light candles to welcome the return of the Sun.

6. Become conscious of your judgments, and let them go. This is a very personal suggestion that you may relate to; one of my biggest challenges to staying present in gifting is my judgments about consumerism, and the wastefulness that especially the bigger holidays bring; light displays, wrapping paper, extra driving, extra buying, extra spending. And with the more minor holidays being amped, this complaint no longer belongs just to Christmas time.

My voice of judgment rings out in response to my own holiday habits – which at times veer into excess, over-extension, stress. It can be overwhelming to stay conscious in the midst of it. So, I try to relax my judgment towards myself and others. Judgment is not compassion.

7. Meditate on the longing, the need, the hunger that the shadow-side of WANT inspires, and allow it to pass. Again, and again, and again. Feel it, and let it go. Recognize it in your own desires to care for, and to be cared for, and find acceptance and love for the hungry parts of you. Notice it in others, and generate compassionate understanding.

Just as with any face of compassion, conscious, compassionate consumerism is a practice. It’s a practice I undertake for my own benefit, and the benefit of all sentient beings.

These are my steps to compassionate consumerism. What are yours?

Support an independent business person; ME!!!

Tarot Readings with Lasara – Gfit Certificates holiday special!

Register a loved one for the Sexy Witch Teleclass experience!!!


January, 2013; A LOCAL, IN-PERSON SEXY WITCH COURSE? YOU can make this happen. Local? Register now.


Other holiday themed articles:
Of Dark Nights and Wood Stoves – A Christmas Reminiscence
Compassionate Consumerism
Reframing Your Family’s Recesssion Anxiety to Conscious Consumerism
Five Ways to Engage Your Kids in Grateful Giving

The Answer to the Season’s Biggest Question; Yes, Santa IS Real!

When it comes to the delicate matter of belief, there are creative ways to answer our children’s questions without taking the magic out of life.

When my oldest daughter was about five, she asked whether Santa Claus was real. Her dad and I told her that Santa is real — to those who believe.

Is love real? Is hope real? Is magic real? Is faith real? Is God? We can’t touch or see any of these things, but most of us believe in at least a few of them. In some cases, we can feel them. In others, we may see proof of them appearing in the physical world.

I believe in Christmas miracles. I believe that Mystics speak with God. I believe that Tibetan lamas reincarnate with full recall of their previous lives. I believe in our ability to do good in the world, with each conscious choice we make. I believe in faeries, and faerie tales, pookas, ghosts, saints, and goblins. I believe in a power omnipresent and indivisible.

And, I still believe in Santa Claus. I always will. Just like I believe in God, with Its ineffability, and the many faces It wears.

Jitterbug Perfume by Tim Robbins has one of the best descriptions I’ve seen of the human relationship with deity. The premise is this: the gods depend upon our belief in them to survive. Our belief in the gods is what makes them real.

The power of belief is an important gift we must instruct and safeguard in our children. Belief is what we build our lives upon. Without belief, we may be cast adrift on an endless, meaningless sea. Belief offers a rudder when nothing else can help us find our way.

At 11, my oldest daughter started the Christmas season by saying she no longer believed in Santa. And then complained when she didn’t feel the Christmas Spirit flooding her as we trimmed the tree.

I talked to her about faith.

The fact is, sometimes it’s hard to have faith that Santa will come. I’ll admit it; even I have been known to test The Spirit from time to time. My first Christmas post-divorce I made such a test.

That year it was hard to find my belief in the Spirit of Christmas. I had no one to give my Christmas list to. No one to tell what I hoped to find under the tree. I prayed to the universe to enforce my faith. I wanted proof that Santa was still real.

I wanted indoor/outdoor, “Ugg” knock-off slippers. I know, it’s kind of petty. Slippers? But it was what I wanted. Sometimes, especially in the midst of doubt, fear, and sadness, it’s the little things that matter. Cozy feet on a lonely morning. A small gift out of nowhere.

It was a deal between me and The Spirit, and since I had asked, The Spirit knew exactly what was required to validate my faith.

Come Christmas day, I was gifted a pair of slippers.

That Christmas, Santa showed up as my sister. She didn’t get the slippers for me, but for another family member. When the slippers didn’t fit the quickly growing girl, my sister asked me to take them instead; she didn’t want to go to the trouble of carrying them home on the plane and exchanging them.

I whispered a thank you to Santa, and reminded myself that sometimes He works in mysterious ways; I didn’t know my sister was bringing slippers for the nieces. She didn’t know I wanted them, either. But Santa did. And He delivered.

Throughout my life I’ve seen innumerable miracles of Christmas faith occur, large and small.

I was 14 when my father left the family. That year Christmas looked bleak. There were five mouths to feed, and no “extra”money to be found. We had a “Charlie Brown tree” cut from a stand of fir trees on our own land, and bedecked with ornaments from Christmases past. We were fortunate enough to have food in the cupboard. But my mother was devastated knowing there was no way she would be able to provide Christmas gifts for all of us.

As the eldest, I was privy to the goings-on of the adult world. But to this day, I don’t have any idea who brought Santa that year. All I know is that on Christmas Eve a jolly, bespectacled  man with a beard of white and suit of red pulled into our very remote, country driveway in his sleigh — or rather, his worn, old, white pick-up truck — with bags filled with festively wrapped gifts. There was a name on each one.

Santa left the bags on our porch. With a jolly smile he offered a “Merry Christmas!”, and was on his way.

In 2007 my Christmas Miracle was the grandest The Spirit of Christmas has yet conspired to deliver for me; the man I’ve been waiting my whole life to find traversed mountain and river that stormy December to be by my side and spend the holidays with me and the children.

That Christmas I felt like both Doris and little Susan in Miracle on 34th Street; the home, the family, the life that I had been nearly afraid to desire became my greatest Christmas miracle. Now every holiday season is a celebration of that most profound of miracles; the emergence of a love perfect and complete.

For me, the holidays will continue for the rest of our lives. My faith in the Miracle of Christmas is no longer shakable. No more tests required – I finally got my ultimate proof.  The man of my dreams, now my husband, is here to stay.

Some would say it was just a fluke of timing. And there’s something to that; finding The One is a miracle whenever it happens. But to me, it was more than just a twist of circumstance that this relationship arrived wrapped in a  Christmas ribbon. For me, it’s further proof that when we open ourselves to the possibility that magic exists, magic proves itself real.

Receiving the Miracles, while amazing, heart-expanding, and at times even life-saving, are only one side of the Christmas Miracle coin. The other side is the one where we become the manifestation of The Spirit. Through our agency, miracles are made manifest.

Movies are built on the theme of The Christmas Miracle. In this case, art imitates life. Christmas stories with their grand, sweeping, soaring themes serve as a reminder of what’s possible when we allow ourselves to invest in love and faith. And as believing becomes more effortless, the miracles grow larger.

Off the screen, food banks fill for at least one day with more than enough to feed the local hungry. People open their homes to strangers so they will have somewhere to be on Christmas morning. Communities pull together and provide gifts for children who would otherwise have been without.

To quote the words of song writer Red West, popularized by Elvis, “if every day could be just like Christmas, what a wonderful world this would be.”

It’s been proven to me again and again through personal experience that the Holiday Spirit does exist. I have been both the one who receives and the one who delivers on the promise of hope that the season offers.

As a Mystic mama, I don’t feel like a hypocrite or a liar, or as though I’m misleading my children by allowing them to believe in a power that makes their child-lives a little more happy, a little more bountiful, a little more hopeful, a little more magical.

And as they grow older, The Spirit need not disappear for our children. Instead of losing heart at the news that Santa is a myth — or a god, or a spirit, or a force — faith may continue to flourish. Given the chance to become part of the spirit of Saint Nick, children can become an active part of that energy of selfless giving. They will become the ones who enact the miracles of the season. In learning about the true meaning of the Spirit of generosity and kindness, they grow to be the hearts and bodies that offer those miracles up.

Back to my daughter as a proof of the shift that may occur with proper shifting of the dynamic of belief; when she was 12, she and I started the holiday season by clearing out all of our excess belongings; warm coats, bedding, clothes that would make a person feel happy to wear, some toys, and taking them to a homeless services center in our town. She was adamant about not only wanting to participate in the gathering up of the items, but also in participating in the process of dropping the boxes off at the center.

Together, we took three large, heaping boxes of items that would brighten the season for people we would never meet, and dropped them off with a group of people who had dedicated their lives to helping the generally unseen members of our community – all year round.

That office is gone now – closed due to lack of funding. But our ability to pull together and deliver Miracles is not. For us it has become a more personal offering. Buying food for a hungry person sitting outside a grocery store. Carrying give-away items in the back of the car and offering them to people in need. Listening to the stories of those who have ended up on the street. Recognizing a person; making him or her seen, if only for the duration of the conversation.

The gratitude returned is a larger gift than any other.

The Spirit is palpable. It acts in the world. Whether you call it the power of faith, or Jesus, or Santa Claus, or generosity, it’s a reminder of a bond of love for our fellow man.

Regardless of the name we give it, it sustains. If we allow it to, if we believe it will, The Spirit acts through and for each of us, bringing miracles to bear.

RECOMMENDED ACTIVITIES:
1. Itemize memories of Christmas miracles – offered and received – in your own life.
2. Practice a random act of holiday cheer.
3. Find a way to “give back” to your community. Or pay it forward. Or however you look at it.
4. Be someone’s Santa.
5. Involve your child or children in these activities.

Other holiday themed articles:
Of Dark Nights and Wood Stoves – A Christmas Reminiscence
Compassionate Consumerism
Reframing Your Family’s Recesssion Anxiety to Conscious Consumerism
Five Ways to Engage Your Kids in Grateful Giving

Support an independent business person; ME!!!

Tarot Readings with Lasara – Gfit Certificates holiday special!

Register a loved one for the Sexy Witch Teleclass experience!!!


January, 2013; A LOCAL, IN-PERSON SEXY WITCH COURSE? YOU can make this happen. Local? Register now.

Happy Holidays! Stay Grateful, Gracious, and Green!

Gift Buying with Consciousness – A Guide to Compassionate Consumerism

Often my anti-consumerist, smaller footprint, “live simply” self, and my “the kids deserve the joy that materialism so easily delivers”, acquisitive, affluenza-suffering self war with each other.

Especially during birthdays, and holidays. During these special days I, like every other conscious consumer, enter the battlefield of who to buy for, what to buy, and why? And, most importantly, HOW?

For your consideration, some guidelines I came up with for my own conscious and compassionate consumerism… read more here…

Tarot Readings with Lasara – Gfit Certificates holiday special!

Register a loved one for the Sexy Witch Teleclass experience!!!

Finding Light in the Darkness – The Reason for the Season

The celebration of this season has roots in the timeless, hidden promise of light and warmth that lives within the dark. Even after the longest night of the year is over, winter still holds sway. But the light does begin its ascent to grandeur and glory in the eternal procession of seasons. …read more here…

Self Care for the Holiday Season

The holidays are upon us. No matter what your spiritual persuasion, you’re probably going to be finding time within this season of cold days and long nights to gather with family and friends, sit around the feast table, and celebrate some light in the darkness. What a wonderful thing!

But even so, the most joyful season still comes with holiday stress. And, between travel, shopping, parties, and family commitments, many of us don’t take very good care of ourselves in the midst of it all. During the holidays, most of us eat more – and more poorly. We exercise less. We let our spiritual practices slip. I mean, who has time to meditate? There’s a sale on, and I still have gifts to buy! (Right?)

The result; physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion. …read more here…

Finding Burning Man, The Land Beyond the Rainbow, and Finally, The Wizard

Black Rock City.

by Lasara Firefox Allen, © 2004, unpublished

I went to the desert with high expectations. I didn’t know what I would find there, but knew I would find a story. A press application, photo permit, and a ticket later I headed out for Black Rock City, ready to have my life altered by a new world. I went seeking Oz.

Burning Man was not my Oz, and instead of answers I found questions that rose up from deep within my counter-culture born and bred, communitarian core. Questions about rules vs. autonomy, distrust and insularity vs. investment and a gifting economy, creating a world we want to live in vs. living in the world we create.

My questions stemmed from a jaded place, but one that holds onto a certain hope: revolution takes many forms. What is the element of revolution that lives in the Burning Man movement and keeps the movement growing and thriving, that maybe we can take away from the city of Black Rock?

The art of Burning Man was awe-inspiring. The playa was beautiful and harsh, in a way dear to me. I have always been struck by life in any form rising from barren environs. Some interactions with other participants in the BRC experience made me warm, and others left me cold.

The most complex interactions I had were with my own psyche. As a first-time inhabitant of BRC, I felt like an outsider. As a native back-to-the-land hippie kid, I felt OVER the experience of playing a survival game with the elements. As an activist I felt lost. As a utopian, I felt unsure of the viable features of BRC and the Burning Man experience.

I left Black Rock City with more, and larger, questions than I arrived with. I knew there was a deeper level to find. And, I knew that if anyone could help me find it, the Wizard could.

In interviewing Larry Harvey I had the joyous experience of speaking with a rare breed: A visionary who has seen his vision come to fruition, manifest, grow, and keep evolving. Just as rare, he is a man dedicated to the ideals of autonomous expression, who also has a healthy relationship with authority and power. Meaning, he’s not afraid to wield either.

Talking with Larry I found a true wizard; a creator and visionary, making dreams manifest. Through Larry’s eyes I could see not only a shining and magickal city, but a whole cosmic design, grounded in a new sense of civic-mindedness and the ethos of the Burning Man movement.

“None of us can fully anticipate the consequences of our actions.”
Burning Man and the Creation of a Civic Culture

LA: What is your take on the tensions between outlaw cultures and rule structures?

LH: I guess it has occurred in our history. It was funny when we first went to the desert there was a contingent among us who featured it as a TAZ (Temporary Autonomous Zone – Ed). I thought they mistook it. The basic idea of Hakim Bey’s [TAZ] is that there are these interzones in the solid magma of authority, which were cracks in the surface of the authority structure, and if you can find them you can practice aesthetic terrorism using guerilla tactics. You can move in and establish a micro-anarchist state. Then having expressed yourself you can disappear and sink back into the jungle like Vietcong.

The only trouble is that when we came out to the Black Rock desert, we were staring at an interzone that was several thousand square miles. It was more than an interzone; it was like the authorities didn’t even know we were there for the first three years. We were lost in all that space

In those days we were in this sort of moat in the middle of this vast blankness and we soon discovered that there were perils, real perils. It was very easy to get lost and miss our camp altogether and that puts you in peril of getting mired at the edge of the desert. You could die there…

It soon became our responsibility to protect people, to rescue them. And we formed the Black Rock Rangers.

There are other examples of this, but by degrees, we acquired the authority of the state. We were the state. We weren’t rebelling against the oppression of [the state].

LA: So on the concept of BRC or the Burning Man “establishment” becoming the state…

LH: In becoming the state, we were responsible for the public welfare.

LA: On that note, is the leaning towards rules a natural, automatic, and possibly necessary evolution in a movement?

LH: Yes it’s necessary. The notion that everyone should be a ruler unto themselves is absurd. It’s not necessarily that people are knaves, it’s because no single person can be expected to understand public welfare. We’re all blind and ignorant of one another’s activities and motives and when you get beyond the size of a very small band, civility becomes necessary.

We passed from this communal experience in which everyone more or less knew everyone, into a point where there were so many strangers it required the invention of civil society. Because civil society is created to accommodate strangers. It regards your relationship to people you don’t know.

LA: as a movement that seems to be based in autonomy, have you felt judged by participants as rule structures occurred over time?

LH: You always get a certain number of people who mistake you for their old man. They mistake you for the parental unit that didn’t understand them [with whom] they have unresolved conflicts and problems, so some of these people probably hate the postman because he wears a uniform. But that’s on the fringes of society.

Most people, if they see the need of it and the rules are explained, we’ll enter into a social contract. The vast majority of people will do that. I hear talk about the good old days where you could drive your car at 100 mph with the lights turned off, but most decent people with any memory, even from those good ol’ autonomous days, will remember the car that went through someone’s tent and ran over their head.

Some kind of accommodation is needed so that people can enjoy their liberty respectively where basic safety is concerned.

The interesting thing [is] that as time goes on, people demand more rules, rules that will oppress the whole society when added up together. We’ve resisted that as well. There’s probably a greater push for excessive rules than there have been complaints about too many. If you add up everyone’s little pet peeve, you know… ‘Let’s keep those ravers out,’ ‘let’s tear out their speakers,’ ‘let’s keep out these new people,’ ‘let’s ban that…’ And we’ve refrained.

I would argue that maybe the most radical thing we’re doing is re-inventing civics. The fact of the matter is, especially among younger people, there are millions of people out there who have no concept of what civics is. Maybe because of the last 50 years of capitalist development, they tend to regard society as one vast vending machine. Oh, they know there are laws, and if you break them you get caught, but the notion that they have any kind of active relationship with their fellow man doesn’t occur to them. They know their little circle, and they stand in lines for amusements, but beyond that, they do not feel any necessary relationship to [anything] beyond their immediate world. That’s true of a lot of people. Look at the voting rates today.

People claim novelty all the time, and usually they’re wrong. But you can say there’s one novel thing we’ve done; we started from a scene that was basically communal dynamics, and it then grew, and instead of factioning, and instead of being appropriated by mass society and commodified, we went civic.

We turned a scene into a city. We made the leap between the communal to this greater unit of belonging, and I don’t know if anyone’s ever done that.

“We always have to be open to something greater than ourselves.”
Growth and the Concept of Radical Inclusivity

LA: What do you see as the current purpose of Burning Man as opposed to the original purpose. Has it changed?

LH: Of course it’s changed. We started with very little foresight. It began on an impulse. There was no plan whatsoever. Yet, in many ways it was all incipiently there. There are two ways of looking at it: In one model it’s simply the result of all the confluent streams that joined in. In the other, it was all there in the seed. That’s the mythic model.

I think back to the beach the first year. We planted the figure by the waterside, by the tide line, and lit it on fire. Then suddenly all these people joined us because it was a public space. They formed a semicircle around it, and it was backed against the far horizon, the infinity of water and sky, and we were just taken out of ourselves, and it felt just wonderful to have this sense of union with these strangers that just joined us. That experience was so moving; it was what caused the tradition to be founded.

I had an experience not long ago; I was pouring over the drawings of our city…You enter it and it forms that great semi-circle with the man at the geographic center and the desert beyond. Suddenly I realized we’d reproduced it. There was no plan to do that, but in some sense, in reproducing it, we were keeping true to the original value. First at the beach, which molded us, I had been so impressed by the influence of nature: the crash of the tide and the cosmic vantage of it. And of course the desert furnished that too.

When we’d first come out, people said ‘Why don’t we encircle the figure with the settlement?’, and I said no. We always have to be open to something greater than ourselves, because that’s what we came from, and hence that’s why the city is that shape. The determination to be radically inclusive, to always welcome the stranger.

LA: So welcoming the stranger could be seen as a core value of Burning Man?

LH: Yes, and it still is. If there’s one battle I’ve fought again and again, and now on a regional scale – we’re talking to all the regional groups – it’s the tendency, where there’s a feeling of unity, to link arms and form a circle and turn their back on the world and keep the stranger out.

“The proof of it is that we’re now populating America.”
The Future Direction of Burning Man: Bringing the Magickal City Home

LA: on the note of change and evolving, what has the purpose of Burning Man and the BRC experience most recently evolved into?

LH: Well we’re about to roll out a thing called the Burning Man network, which is a way of organizing all the regional contacts we have…

We’re here, still considered radical, still considered vital, still considered transformative to people, and we’ve been here for nearly 20 years. We aren’t a fad. And we’ve done that because we’ve organized to protect ourselves in certain ways while remaining very open. And we’re trying to do that on a much larger scale so our culture isn’t gobbled up piecemeal and exploited out there in the world.

That, and the fact that we’re now in a position to foment mutual aid across this great spectrum. We’re also in a position to offer help of various kinds. Things [the regionals] couldn’t do for themselves, and that won’t diminish their independence or their creative integrity.

I thought in the beginning that you needed a playa. Of course, that’s a unique formula for a very intense ritual experience in the many ways it affects people. This great void; you can conjure visions from it.

But I came to see, as people came home to their communities and began to congregate and asked us to help them and create lists and so on, and as events grew up, people had internalized the ethos they had learned. It’d gotten sufficiently complex and broad enough and deep enough to actually represent what you’d call an ethos, a way of life. A vision of a way of life, at least, and they were reproducing it, on a scale.

As we thought about what it all means over the years, I began to see that in fact, it wasn’t limited to events that emulated – or rather, imitated – ours, but you could emulate the principles in such a way that you could use those things to transform the world around you, wherever you might be.

That could involve civics; that could involve something at the center of your hometown. It could involve kinds of creative associations – corporation, collaboration – that would seem very far-afield from a party in the desert.

It’s because [people have] internalized BRC and it exists within them now, and if it were only an entertainment event, this would all be idle talk. But that isn’t the case. The proof of it is that we’re now populating America.

LA: The next question I have is a leap, I know, but it’s a question I’ve heard, and I’m curious about it myself. How will you or the other organizers of Burning Man know if it’s time to close up shop?

LH: Right now the Burning Man experience serves as a sort of a Mecca. It’s a place where vast numbers of people come together and it serves as a sort of initiation and demonstration to people about what could be in the world. But I think that as these colonies that have grown up begin to achieve things, the community at large will need that demonstration less and less. Burning Man will simply, actually, be a part of their life. They will no longer say ‘I can’t wait’… you know, ‘there’s only 213 days till Burning Man’. [Burning Man] will be where they are, in some fulfilling way.

It Ain’t Kansas…Wait, Maybe It Is! (Or Cali, or England, or British Columbia…)

Perhaps it was all there in the seed; a seed born of the influence of nature, and a cosmic vantage. A seed that was created by an act of self-expression, that grew in magnitude with the presence of strangers. A seed that contained the potential for a new economy; one based solely in the act of giving.

Now Burning Man is growing wild, ideas and ideals germinated by the cross-pollination of people in a transient city; a city which exists in a time out of time, a world between worlds. A city that grows from a great void that conjures visions, and then disappears back into a realm of possibility.

I found answers to some of my questions even in the process of getting them to the page. I found further answers speaking with Larry. I am sure to find further answers as the movement finds its way more deeply into my life.

The ethos of Burning Man has already moved from the playa into the world, and taken root. A sense of investment in a home that exists wherever we are is part of that ethos. And a networking of revolutionary gifting is taking hold, rooted deeply in the civic-mindedness of residents of Black Rock City.

Perhaps the seed was there all along, and the wizard just helped us find it.

Fund The Pussy Poems Chapbook Project – Too Controversial for kickstarter!

Your donations will fund the publication of a limited printing, collectible, first edition run of The Pussy Poems chapbook. (Please see pledge rewards further down the page. They’re super sweet!)

The Pussy Poems, or, The Cunt Chronicles is a collection of poems I wrote in 2005, shortly after the release of my nonfiction book, Sexy Witch (Llewellyn Worldwide, 2005). Sexy Witch was a bestseller, originally published in English and shortly thereafter translated into Spanish, Russian, and Czech. The book continues to sell in all four languages.

The Pussy Poems were born partially of a series of workshops I taught after Sexy Witch came out. They are a rowdy, tender, painful, joyful, wild, raucous, vulnerable journey though the constantly shifting terrain of my relationship with my pussy. And, as was shown in response, my relationship with my vulva mirrors that of many other women; the sometimes tempestuous, often unconscious, and always important relationship with the holiest of holies.

I performed the collection in three countries, made an art-piece out of them for a “broadersides” project (a play on the term broadside – the publication of a piece of writing on one side of a single page, but in this case, one side of a piece of plywood), and then retired them.

When Michigan State Rep. Lisa Brown was banned from speaking on the House floor after opposing an abortion law – and using the word, “vagina” in the process – I thought it was time for the poems to resurface. I published the poems in electronic format on Facebook. The Pussy Poems got a robust response, and glowing reviews. A resounding request for print copy of the poems led me here to seek funding for a first edition print run.

Resurrecting the The Pussy Poems was an impulsive action, but doing so has brought something solidly home; talking about women’s sexual and reproductive organs is still a revolutionary act. And it’s an important one. As women, we are still working hard to claim our genitals in a historically phallocentric culture. Women react with joy and power to reading this collection of poems.

Men find the topic to be powerful beyond mere titillation. More than just a romp, The Pussy Poems serve as a portal into no-man’s land; a glimpse of ruminations on the love, pain, anger, and joy all bound up in the tender petals of womanhood.

And, perhaps more importantly, the resurrection was brought on by a sad-but-true fact; women’s reproductive rights are under fire – again. With more oppressive legislation being brought with regularity, this is no time to let up. It’s no time to shut up.

It is time to rise up, with PUSSY PRIDE!

Pledge $15 or more

Limited Reward (39 of 40 remaining)

Your own signed, numbered, collectible copy of the first edition print run of the Pussy Poems chapbook, signed, sealed, and delivered.

Est. Delivery: Sep 2012

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Limited Reward (5 of 5 remaining)

1. Your own collectible copy of the first edition print run of the Pussy Poems chapbook, signed, sealed, and delivered.

2. A one-of-a-kind, “DIY”, “Pussy Proud!” t-shirt, custom made and hand-inked or decaled by me! You choose size, color of shirt, color of ink or lettering, deconstucted or whole. You may even choose different wording.

Est. Delivery: Nov 2012

Pledge $75 or more

Limited Reward (2 of 3 remaining)

1. 10 minute phone or skype consultation – your choice of topic; writing, relationships, spirituality, or 3-card tarot reading.
2. Your own collectible copy of the first edition print run of the Pussy Poems chapbook, signed, sealed, and delivered.
3. A one-of-a-kind, “DIY”, “Pussy Proud!” t-shirt, custom made and hand-inked or decaled by me! You choose size, color of shirt, color of ink or lettering, deconstucted or whole. You may even choose different wording.

Est. Delivery: Oct 2012

Pledge $175 or more

Limited Reward (10 of 10 remaining)

1. A one hour, one-on-one skype or phone “Writing on Your Body” workshop. You’ll come out of your personal workshop with your own set of poems.
2. Your own collectible copy of the first edition print run of the Pussy Poems chapbook, signed, sealed, and delivered.
3. A one-of-a-kind, “DIY”, “Pussy Proud!” t-shirt, custom made and hand-inked or decaled by me! You choose size, color of shirt, color of ink or lettering, deconstucted or whole. You may even choose different wording.

Est. Delivery: Oct 2012

4th Wave Feminism: Welcome to the Big Tent

If feminism is to survive, and thrive, it’s time for the term “feminism” to become more broad and inclusive. It would best serve the 4th wave (if there is to be a 4th wave) to claim the motto, “You are a feminist if you say you are a feminist.” No other requirements.

This would mean hijab-wearing feminists, “grizzly mama” feminists, Libertarian feminists, Anarchist feminists, male feminists, stay-at-home-mom (or dad) feminists, CEO feminists, liberal feminists, conservative feminists, trans feminists, queer feminists.

It would mean that feminism would no longer have the “single-issue” solidarity that it currently has around a woman’s right to choice. But who am I – who are you, or any of us – to decide what one issue defines feminism?

Is a Catholic mom in Guatemala who is fighting for healthcare for the women and children in her village less than a feminist because she is not pro-choice? Is a Muslim woman who fights for her right to WEAR a hijab less a feminist than one who is campaigning for her right not to? Is a sex worker campaigning for decriminalization of sex work less a feminist than a woman who is an advocate for women *forced* into prostitution?

My answer is unequivocal; they are all equally feminist.

Feminism cannot be circumscribed to issues that are idealized. Feminism, if it is to become a global movement – and all movements that are going to thrive in the “information age” are going to globalize or perish – will have to open it’s doors, become less judgmental, and include every voice.

In first wave feminism, radical feminists like Emma Goldman, Victoria Claflin Woodhull, and many others were told their ideas and issues (the right to own property, the right to divorce, the right to wear pants – no joke!) would marginalize the suffrage movement.

In early second wave feminism, lesbians were told that the politics of sexual choice had no place at the feminist table, and that feminism would be marginalized by the radicalism of identity politics.

Third wave feminism was all about identity politics, but the hard-edge of third wave feminism had its own judgments and proclamations about who could – and could not – validly call themselves a feminist. Stay-at-home-moms weren’t “true” feminists. The trans community was marginalized because of the complexity of gender issues. Traditionalists (women who got married and took their husband’s last names, or stood in support roles to the men in their lives) weren’t allowed to claim the title of “feminist”.

We (mostly white, mostly “educated”, mostly intellectual, mostly kinda “Ivory Tower” in our ways) can’t afford to attempt to define feminism for the women of the world any longer. More importantly, why would we want to? Our ethnocentric biases have gotten us into enough trouble as it is.

Maybe it’s time to fight amongst ourselves less, and listen more. Maybe out of the dischord will arise a chorus. Perhaps all the voices will find a way to be heard, and the areas that don’t gain total consensus agreement are not the actual issues that the global reach of feminism needs, at this moment, as a whole, to be facing. I feel certain that, on a global level, there are more pressing matters than the ones we as a movement have so far chosen to focus on.

I believe there are as many feminist ideologies as there are feminists. How else do we check “credentials”? Perhaps the words will suffice; I say I am a feminist, therefore I am a feminist.

Solstice Gratitude

(Copied over from facebook)

This Solstice day, I take a moment and invite myself to count some of the things I am, at the moment, abundantly grateful for. So, in no particular order, I begin.

My little family. My girls (Aurora and Sollie) and my man (Robert), have made, and continue to make my life what it is; amazing, beautiful, surprising, tender, loving, grounded, sweet, and above all, full of honesty and truth. Thank you. Every single one of you. I love you.

Aurora. You have grown so much older and wiser of late, and I am so enjoying getting to know you as who you are now; your own person. I cherish the time we have spent together lately, and am honored that you choose to do crazy and fun things with me. You touch my heart. Thank you. I love you.

Sollie. You are an amazing kid. I am inspired by your courage. You live out loud, and beautifully. I am grateful for your emotional presence, and your beautifully vulnerable heart. And your hair. I’m grateful for the fun we’re having with it. Thank you. I love you.

Robert. You astound me. Everyday. I am grateful to be growing old(er) with you. I love the way you hold me; heart and body. There’s so much I could say, but here’s what I will; I’m grateful for the new doorways that are opening in our hearts, and in the world. Thank you. I love you.

My larger family. You know I can’t list you all – it would take the whole page. But I love you and am grateful for you in my life. Even when we all make each other crazy. Life isn’t always easier for it, but it is for sure more interesting for having each one of you in it. Thank you. I love you.

New friends. You know who you are. There are a number of you, and I’m not gonna call you all out one by one. But know that I am hugely grateful for the new beauty you’ve brought to me. My heart is renewed and expanded by the loving tenderness and wild fun you all have shared with me. Thank you. I love you.

Old friends. And you know who YOU are, too. Know that I am so grateful to have a place in your heart. Your continued dedication to our relationship brings me courage and joy. Thank you. I love you.

My wee little garden. I love the smell of the tomatoes and the herbs as I water them in the morning. Green growing things, you bring my heart sweet succor and my body joy. Thank you. I love you.

The wilds and wilderness. I feel welcomed back to your embrace like a long lost love. It’s amazing to journey in and with you. You call out to my deepest places, and I’m honored to answer back. Thank you. I love you.

Everyone of you out there. You inform and form my life with me. Thank you for your place in my life. Your presence on the other side of the screen inspires me to create and express. Thank you. I love you.

The world, solar system, and beyond. I am grateful to live in this here, and this now. Thank you. I love you.

I wanna tag people, but I can’t tag you all!!! So just read this. All of you. And tell me what you’re grateful for, if you feel inspired to do so.

On your page, if you want, and tell me here so I can go see it.

I effing love you all.

♥ ♥ ♥

My Grandfather’s Flag – In Memoriam

Father and daughter
This memorial day, I hope you’ll take a moment to remember, to pray for, all those who have fallen in the lines of fire – not just “our” men and boys, wives and daughters, but all of those who have fallen, everywhere around the world.

In Memoriam

Written Memorial Day, 2009

My mother grew up 
with photos 
of a dapper dresser
 and memories of
 comedy acts, shared songs of Scotland, her dream visitations 
the strongest vestiges
 of the man she called Daddy. My grandfather, George, died in World War II when my mother was seven.

A Scotsman by birth,
 and American by the choice
 of parents looking for a better life
, George came to this country at seven
; bright red curls
 and a brogue 
that – 
from what I understand 
- he never lost.

At a young age, with two children and a wife at home, every inch an American patriot, George became a tank-gunner
 fighting on the right side
 of the “good war.”

Many years later 
on the Peace March 
for Global Nuclear Disarmament my mother
 was mysteriously
 tracked down 
after decades of waiting 
for confirmation
 and some acknowledgment of her
 heinous
 loss

. She was given a purple heart 
in recognition of the red blood
 her father, the Scotsman, spilled in the name of America, the land he now called
 home.

My mother’s mother
 was a woman I called Grandma, 
but only met a few times

. After the death of George, the grandfather I never met, my grandmother never fell in love again
.

My grandfather burned to death
, the tank he manned
 becoming it’s own
 crematorium. There wasn’t even a body to send home.

Folded flag

Folded Flag

One Folded Flag

Last year my grandmother died
and my mother received a box
unceremonious cardboard, innocuous
holding her father’s 
only remains -

an artfully folded flag
a clan tartan and crest
a heart on a purple ribbon
a pile of letters home.

We touched the flag,
hand sewn, 
perfect
folded just that way 
since 1944

and prayed silently
tears welling.

Somewhere tonight,
a seven year old girl
awaits the return of her daddy
 from foreign soil

Or, in a land half a world away
bombs blasting in the distance
she
awaits, awaits.

May he return whole.

Let no more daughters wait 
a lifetime
for a flag
a medal on a purple ribbon
a pile of letters.

May no more widows mourn
alone and brittle
, hopelessly waiting
sitting 
for 75 years
at a window she knows will never be filled
with the endlessly dreamed of
return.

Arise Then, Women of This Day – The Roots of Mother’s Day

Did you know that Mother’s Day was created as an opportunity to stand against war?

Here is the first stanza of a piece of writing called The Mothers’ Day Proclamation written by Julia Ward Howe, a feminist and abolitionist, in 1870.

Arise, then, women of this day!
Arise, all women who have hearts,
Whether our baptism be of water or of tears!
Say firmly:
“We will not have great questions decided by irrelevant agencies,
Our husbands will not come to us, reeking with carnage, for caresses and applause.
Our sons shall not be taken from us to unlearn
All that we have been able to teach them of charity, mercy and patience.
We, the women of one country, will be too tender of those of another country
To allow our sons to be trained to injure theirs.”

You can see the rest of the Mother’s Day Proclamation here – it’s full of thoughts as relevant today as they were over a hundred years ago when it was written.

As you take some time to reflect on the contributions mothers have made the world over, think on one of the most precious; life. And another element so strongly the bedrock of what we think of as motherhood; love. Let life and love stand as sacred in our personal days and nights, and take a moment in it all to take a stand for both.

May the suffering cease. May the wars end. May the human family live in peace.

My DIY (do it yourself), Organic, Container Garden

Some poor kids - not me - toiling in a big-ass garden.

When I first thought of building/creating my own garden, I felt daunted by the idea. After all, my most successful gardening experience to date was my little plot in my parents’ huge, back-to-the-land garden about 30 years ago.

Perhaps it was the memory of hours spent in the garden every day. As a kid I didn’t just work my plot; we all pitched in on the family garden. It was back-breaking – if rewarding – work. When you’re reaching for subsistence farming, working the farm is an all-encompassing endeavor.

This sense of overwhelm was added to by the fact that where I live now we have impossible soil and mutant greedy-goddam-gophers. My first attempted garden was destroyed by the varmints. They didn’t just eat the roots, they also pulled the seedlings down through the soil and eat those too. Grrrrr.

Learning from earlier mistakes, I knew I needed to protect my plants from the gopher-infested ground. I priced gopher wire (YIKES!) and wood. I thought, “Nope. I’m never gonna have a garden.”

This year I decided to seek out other ways to make a garden possible. I started researching everything from micro-farming to vertical gardens to container gardens. The images were way more helpful than any of the articles I found. I was exposed to a slew of ideas for creating low-cost, easy to manage gardens.

An achingly inspiring sack-garden in Nairobi.

This image, and the story that accompanies it, was the final blow that felled my B.S., “But I can’t pull it off!” story. If refugees in Africa can grow a garden, WTF am I whining about? I have water, access to dirt, access to unlimited seeds. And tons of access to containers.

Some DIY website (which I can no longer find) suggested using a dresser to make containers. Brilliant! As it turned out, I had a decrepit dresser sitting in a storage space around the house waiting to be put to use. And if I hadn’t had one, I know I could have easily found one on freecycle.

I dove into the process of repurposing that baby with gusto. Much of my garden is growing, beautifully I might add, in a shoddy old dresser that would have sat in retirement for god-knows how long.

I took my ($19) cordless drill and the biggest bit I had, and drilled bunches of holes into the drawers and the body of the dresser.

My sexy lil DIY garden.

Once I filled that space, I took to filling some recycled/reused/scrounged/found items and built a planter box out of scrap wood and reused nails. Then some used/preowned tubs (we have those around here – cast off from the main cash crop in the area). When I ran out of those I took a page from the inspiring refugee farmers and used sand/fertilizer bags. (Also preowned.)

(I also wanted a kiddie pool for melons, but so far no luck on that one. I’ll keep trying on freecycle. For now my melons are part of my array of sacks.)

Working with what I had, I slowly built a garden that is engrossing, inspiring, and makes me very, very happy. I ate my first summer squash yesterday, and am looking forward to my tomato harvest with tingling anticipation. More than a hobby, my garden has become an organizing element in my life. I’m kinda in love.

Let me enumerate the glowing virtues of my garden:

  • Working in my garden is soothing and invigorating all at once.
  • My relationship with my plant-friends and the entity that is my garden is one that really feeds me.
  • Figuring out the little ways I can make things work, make them work better, or sustain longer, is a puzzle that keeps my mind happy and calm.
  • I feel really great about the fact that I’ve lessened my carbon footprint, saved money, and am feeding my family good food all at once.
  • I spend more of my time outside on a daily basis.
  • Working in my garden is profoundly satisfying in that really basic, guttural way.
  • It’s beautiful, and it makes my heart happy.
  • It’s organic. Our yield will be nourishing, fresh, and really good for us.
  • It was pretty low cost to set up, and will save my family a nice little bundle of cash in the long run.

That said, let’s talk dollars and cents. (And sense?)

My “startup” costs:

Soil; three bags at ~$8 each = $24
Fertilizer; one bag, ~$3
Starts; about $40
Seeds; about $20
Trellising net; $9
Garden twine; $3
= $99

Using EVERYTHING I could get my hands on to create my garden made it very ecclectic, and DIY chic. I ♥ my crazy mix of containers!

The rest of my garden infrastructure was repurposed, recycled (scrounged/found/reused), or freecycled. I spent ~$100 for what has become a sizable garden.

I had access to pre-used bamboo stakes that I’m using for trellising, along with garden twine. I purchased one trellising net at a garden supply shop – though I think I’d opt for using only twine and stakes if I had known better. Tomato cages are super expensive, but one of my tomato starts – which I purchased at a local hardware store – came with a small cage included. At $8 this felt like a steal. Yet, I’ve already had to extend the cage height with bamboo and twine, and the plant is only starting to bear!

Thinking about creating your own DIY garden?

In evaluating your ability, desire, or commitment to creating your own garden, it would be worthwhile to consider how much you spend on fruits and veggies and calculate from there. Every time I dropped three bucks on a seed packet, I thought, “Wow. That’s the price of ONE cantaloupe!” Or one bag of tomatoes/one bag of peppers/three bundles of cilantro/etc. And that’s not even taking into account the added cost of buying organics, which is more than just a side benefit of gardening for yourself.  A bag of organic tomatoes outstrips a packet of seeds by a good bit. Organic cantaloupes? Ha! No contest.

Another thing that helps is buying your starts, soil, and seeds bit by bit. This is a great idea for a couple of reasons. You won’t end up with more than you need or have room for, and you don’t have to shell out the cash all at once.

If you’re ardent and thrifty and really want to cut costs, you could probably find starts and seeds for free, and maybe even soil. Containers are a cinch. If you can’t find them in your garbage, dumpster dive! Or, if you decide to use sandbags, I bet you can swing the .39 a piece! If you wanted to splurge and go with real, old fashioned burlap, I bet you could get some friends to go in on an order with you. At $15.75, you and a couple friends could have your whole sack-gardens growing in style.

Gardening is SEXY! Good clean dirt smells amazing. I advise garden shoes instead of pumps though.

In finding those odds and ends, scrounging serves a number of valuable ends at once. Repurposing and reusing are the most effective ways to cutting strain on the global ecosystem. The benefits outstrip those of recycling by a long shot. To that end, freecycle is a great resource. So are local gardening projects, farmers’ markets, and your community.

See a heap of old lumber? Ask if you can haul it away. Ideally, this works out to be a win-win situation. Have access to old fence posts or metal stakes? Use those in place of bamboo. Know someone who has bamboo growing on their property? They’d probably be psyched to have you cut some. (Bamboo is kind of like blackberries. It grows fast, easily, and often out of control.)

Gardening is Sexy!

Victory gardens, kitchen gardens, crisis gardens, relief gardens, eco-gardens, climate change gardens; by whatever name, they’re just as sweet. Container gardens growing food in the concrete jungle are changing the terrain of how people live, and how they eat. Inspired by both fear and desire, a new generation of gardeners are waking up. From East Oakland to the stark and crowded ways of refugee camps in the African Congo. From luxuriant exurban landscapes to narrow concrete patios. On patios, on rooftops, in yards, parks, and schools, the verdant, vital, vibrant green of new growth is peeking through the cracks.

Growth and decomposition. Dirt, sun, water. Sexy as hell.

Postpunkvegans, CSA farmers, back to the land hippies – and their grown kids, locavores, herbivores, and omnivores are all digging in and getting grounded. You can too.

Branch out. Look for new ideas. Get inspired. And reap what you sow.

 

Gardening is radical!!! Women got to wear pants in 1918 while tending to war gardens.

Your Seminar Guide: Getting to Know Mendocino County

Click here fo rmore info on

Brain Magick: Exploring Consciousness with Philip H. Farber

Neuro-Linguistic Programming, Magick, and Altered States

August 27 – 28, 2011 in the Greater Ukiah Valley, Mendocino County, CA.
An amazing weekend of fascination and fun in beautiful Mendocino County, CA! It’s a straight shot up from the Bay Area on the scenic 101.

Join world-renowned Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) trainer, author, and Meta-Magick creator Philip H. Farber for an exhilarating journey through altered states and the highly flexible interior realms of imagination, myth and entities. Phil will present Meta-Magick essentials along with brand new material from his forthcoming book, Brain Magick: Exercises in Meta-Magick and Invocation.

Notable Eats

Grab a great breakfast before you head out at Bluebird Cafe. Great, inexpensive American eats. $$

Local Flavor is a great cafe, bakery, and breakfast and lunch place. Yummy coffee, great food, and nice staff. A meal here is a must. $$

Schats has delicious baked goods, good coffee, and easy lunch options. $$

Ellie’s Mut Hutt offers 1970′s vegetarianism at its best. Tofudogs served up next to hotdogs–this isn’t the place to bring your gustatory politics, but oh it’s so good. Ellie’s serves up the kind of butter-dipped, cheese-sprinkled, vegetarian goodness that screams, “I can’t believe Nixon’s finally out of office. And that this is vegetarian!”

DON’T miss the Tofu Brown Rice Salad (smothered in cheddar and sour cream and tahini marinade, drool…). Their Johnny Cakes are easily the best pancake-like substance you’ve ever had, dense and moist and chewy and crispy on the edges. And why not top it off with their delicious fruit smoothies made with some amazing kind of frozen yogurt that was milked straight from the udders of ice-cold angel-cows.

Why are you not there now? Why am I not there now? Oh my god I’m so HUNGRY…! $$
– Thanks to Christy Meyer for the review of Ellie’s!

Unless you brown-bag it, you’ll be eating lunch at Cuca’s Cocina on Saturday and Sunday. And that is far from a bad thing! Being Potter Valley’s only operating restaurant is not the only thing that makes Cuca’s a popular place to eat. Cuca’s serves up some of the most delicious, authentic, mouth watering Mexican food you’ll find. $$

Ukiah Brewing Company is the first all-organic brew pub in the country. It’s one of the few see-and-be-seen venues on the Ukiah area. Meet the who’s who of the Mendo Mafia (season will be in full bloom, after all!), the chicest of the hippie chichi, and the movers and shakers of the local lefty scene.

In addition to some quality fare, you’ll have a chance to take in some local entertainment or a touring band on Saturday night. Vegan – omnivore. $$$

Oco Time is another restaurant with a mission statement in alignment with the local value of radicalism. “Yoshiki drew upon his childhood heritage of peace education and comfort food to create OCO TIME, a peace café project that features the Okonomiyaki, the soul food of Hiroshima.” This Japanese “soul food” is like nothing you’ve ever tasted. And the sushi is outstanding as well. Vegan – omnivore. Reservations required. $$$

The Himalayan Cafe is an outstanding little restaurant. The food is delicious, authentic Himalayan fare. Mmmm, good! Free dinner-time entertainment and a relaxed atmosphere contribute to a lovely dining experience. Reservations recommended. $$

Ruen Tong Thai is the local go-to Thai food destination. Excellent food, and friendly service. $$

Every town needs one high-end eats place. In Ukiah, that’s Patrona. I don’t really recommend it, but if you *need* to drop an relatively obscene amount of money on food, this is the place to go! $$$$

Come a day early or leave a day late, and eat at the City of Ten Thousand Buddhas restaurant. It’s only open from 11AM – 3PM, but it has amazing food! And the grounds and temple are beautiful as well. The City of Ten Thousand Buddhas also has an interesting history; it was built as an asylum. Closed down in the ’80s, the grounds have been transformed to a spiritual community. Talk about cleaning up some karma! Vegetarian, with tasty faux-meat dishes. $$

Lodging

The Quaint:

A local treasure, The Sanford House.

The Luxurious:

Why not treat this as a weekend of renewal? Go all the way by spending your evenings and mornings at the world-renowned Vichy Springs.

The Rugged:

Love camping? Than this is the option for you! Spend Friday and Saturday night at Lake Mendocino. You’ll be only about 15 minutes away from the seminar location, it’s less expensive than the other options, and you’ll get to enjoy the serenity of the Mendocino County outdoors. Book early – the campgrounds fill up all summer long.

On this front, there *may* also be a few camping spots on-site at the location of the seminar. If so, it will cost a bit more than lake-side camping, and you’ll have to nab a space quick! More in this soon.

The Easy:

If you’re not big on soaking up the local flavor, Ukiah – of course – has the usual chain hotels and motels. The further toward the north end of town you are, the less travel time you’ll have to the lovely location of the seminar.

While You’re Here…

Ukiah is home to a handful of fine art establishments and museums. From Pomo tribal culture to tattoos, there’s a little bit of something for everybody.

Ukiah Valley is a hot bed of radicalism, and has been for decades. Ukiah was an off-the-grid destination extraordinaire in the ’70s. It was the seat of Redwood Summer activism in the ’90s, passed a No GMO ordinance in 2004, decriminalized use of marijuana and growth of medical gardens, and is one of the premier pioneers of the organics movement. Ukiah and the surrounding areas are peopled with a vibrant mix of hippies and libertarians.

It’s also home to a diverse number of religious communities, spiritual communities, and has a history of major cult involvement. (Jim Jones is by far one of the most notorious in the list of the area’s historic cult-leaders.)

Mendocino County is also part of what’s known as the Emerald Triangle. Known for its world-class marijuana, Mendocino county is estimated to generate $1 billion a year in marijuana profits.

Let us know in advance if you plan on staying extra days. You can check out the organics trade from wine (Frey Vineyards, the first organic winery in the country), to beer (Ukiah Brewing Company), to food (Local Harvest CSA), to weed.

Sorry, no link for that last one. But we could probably arrange a private tour of an organic, medical grow for you. Especially if you’re willing to endure some blind-folded drive-time. You can only purchase with a valid medical user card, but if you have that you may also also want to take a tour of the local dispensaries. Fresh! It’s better than milk warm from the teat.

Enjoy your time in Mendocino County!

The Roots of Mother’s Day: Protest and Pacifism

Arise Then, Women of This Day

When most people think of Mother’s Day, they may think of roses, champagne brunches, “mother’s rings,” and a visit to mom’s place. While the idea of family togetherness is a lovely sentiment, there was a different, and perhaps even deeper, original meaning to the beginning of Mother’s Day: it was created as an opportunity to stand against war.

No solitary woman can be credited with the beginning of a movement toward the Mother’s Day holiday, but every thread that ties itself into the entangled roots of the emergence of Mother’s Day is ultimately the same. It was a celebration of motherhood, by mothers, and about the largest gift a mother ever gives her child: the gift of life.

This year, as you thank your mother for your life, or your wife for the life of your children, take some time to reflect on the contributions mothers have made the world over. Remember that some mother half the world away gave her child the gift of life too.

- Read the rest at California Psychics

Brain Magick: Exploring Consciousness with Philip H. Farber

Neuro-Linguistic Programming, Magick, and Altered States

August 27 – 28, 2011 in the Greater Ukiah Valley, Mendocino County, CA.
An amazing weekend of fascination and fun in beautiful Mendocino County, CA! It’s a straight shot up from the Bay Area on the scenic 101.

Join world-renowned Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) trainer, author, and Meta-Magick creator Philip H. Farber for an exhilarating journey through altered states and the highly flexible interior realms of imagination, myth and entities. Phil will present Meta-Magick essentials along with brand new material from his forthcoming book, Brain Magick: Exercises in Meta-Magick and Invocation.

This is a great introduction to the applications of both NLP and magick. The seminar is highly recommended for practitioners who have been reading or working from books and would like some real-world, hands-on practice in a safe and supportive environment, as well as for those who have had a curiosity about NLP and magic, and are ready to traverse the terrain where the two meet up.

This seminar will explore in detail:

  • How to use the brain you already own for enhanced healing, learning, or creativity.
  • The connections between states of consciousness, memory, and our sense of self.
  • Powerful and practical methods for changing the maps and models upon which we base our beliefs and presuppositions about the world.
  • The neurological basis for the experience of entities: gods, demons, angels and imaginary friends.
  • How to put some woohoo into everything you do.

Registration is $250. The seminar is an action-packed, exciting, and informative two days, from 10am to 6pm on both Saturday and Sunday.

Advance registration is required.

Participants are responsible for their own transportation. food, and lodging. Information on options for all of the aforementioned are available upon registration.

CLICK HERE TO PAY NOW:

Philip H. Farber is the author of Meta-Magick: The Book of Atem – Achieving New States of Consciousness Through NLP, Neuroscience and Ritual (Weiser Books, 2008), the forthcoming Brain Magick: Exercises in Meta-Magick and Invocation (Llewellyn Worldwide, 2011), the cult classic FutureRitual, and other books.

Phil is a Consulting Hypnotist with the National Guild of Hypnotists, a Hypnosis Instructor with the Society for Experiential Trance, a Master Practitioner and Licensed Trainer of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), and an author of many articles about hypnosis, consciousness, meditation and popular culture. Phil has made many media appearances, including one in the documentary film Programming the Nation, about the impact of subliminal advertising.

Phil has presented lectures, workshops and seminars at conferences throughout the United States and UK (including the National Guild of Hypnotists conference, the International Conference on Shamanism, the Equinox Festival, the Starwood Festival, and many more). His own seminars have filled venues in New York, Los Angeles, Seattle, London, Amsterdam, and many other locations.

“Philip H. Farber has once again shown where magick meets the brain.”
Richard Bandler, co-founder of NLP

“[This is] the first magick manual entirely contemporary with modern science and the only one that will really prepare the student for life in the 21st Century.”
Robert Anton Wilson, author Cosmic Trigger and Illuminatus

“Phil Farber has a genius for transformative edu-tainment. His writing captures the warmth and liveliness of his workshops because multisensory experiential processes are part of every page.”
Iona Miller, co-author of The Modern Alchemist

Meta-Magick is a brilliant and patently original book of magical instruction that future generations will revere as an ‘ancient classic.’” — Lon Milo DuQuette, author of My Life with the Spirits and Enochian Vision Magick

“The intent of Farber’s ongoing literary sigil is to move his readers beyond the practice of individual magicks into the shared space of collective, consensual hallucination…. Farber quickly branches out in new directions – casting a visionary world picture as if it were a guide book, a description and instruction manual to a realm that is quite literally created in the process of its depiction and subsequent imagination.”
Douglas Rushkoff, author of Coercion and Media Virus

“Phil Farber continues to amaze. His work in Brain Magick: Exercises in Meta-Magick and Invokation are accessible, flexible and powerful all at the same time. Useful for the beginning mage or the seasoned magician, Brain Magick moves from the easily understood, easily applied to incredibly complex and in-depth magicks.

“In Brain Magick, Farber’s mastery of both magickal technology and neuro-linguistic programming come together to create a work destined to become a well-worn tome in any serious magickian’s collection.”
Lasara Firefox Allen, master practitioner of NLP, and author of Sexy Witch

Fasting Against Hunger – at elephant

“Day five of water-only fasting. No food at all since Friday night. And I’m not the only one. Hundreds of thousands of faith leaders, secular leaders, workers’ rights activist, and poor folks nation-wide are fasting too. I happen to fall into more than one of those categories.

And still the collective silence is deafening. Too many people think the budget crisis has nothing to do with them.  Or maybe the assumption is that it’s too hard to understand. Or perhaps everyone is experiencing “feeling fatigue”; too much global change, too fast, to pay attention anymore.

If you think the cuts proposed by the Republican-controlled house doesn’t matter, think again. Allow me to offer you a thumbnail view of the reasons YOU should give a damn – and perhaps fast against hunger, too:

Have you ever depended on governmental programs for subsidization (WIC, food stamps, free or subsidized health care – medicare, medicaid, state governmental health insurance, free clinics, immunization clinics, free or subsidized STI tests or treatment…) or known anyone who has? Have you ever had an abortion? Gotten free or subsidized childcare?”

READ MORE AT ELEPHANTJOURNAL.COM

Help Doctors Without Borders and yourself, all at once!

Help Doctors Without Borders and yourself, all at once! Coaching proceeds to MSF, through April 21.

Have you thought about getting a coaching session – or sessions – with me? Well, there’s no time like the present – for so many reasons!

It’s spring and…

* maybe you want to get your fitness and dietary choices on track…
* or maybe it’s time to get motivated toward your goals…
* or maybe you’re ready to get clear on your priorities in life…
* or you’re finally ready to devote time to your spiritual process…
* or, ??? (What’s YOUR reason?)

Here’s another reason; right now, when you help yourself you also help Doctors without Borders/Médecins Sans Frontières (MSF). Why? Because through April 21 I’ll be giving a tithe (tithe=10%) of any money made from coaching to MSF.

Why MSF? Because it’s an amazing organization. And there’s plenty to be done in the world. And while I can’t do it all, this is one way I can help others to do what I cannot.

And, it’s Lent. The three pillars of Lent are prayer, fasting, and alms-giving (also known as charity of philanthropy). I’ve got the fasting down! I pray a lot, but there’s always room for more prayer. And charity is something there can always be more of, too. So as well as local humanitarian projects, I want to make a contribution to global humanitarian aid.

YOU can help me make that contribution larger. Help others, while also helping yourself. Isn’t that the way it should be?

Coaching Rates:
20 minutes: $30
1 hour: Sliding scale, $75 – $125
Package rates available on multiple-session agreements.

See more about Doctors Without Borders//Médecins Sans Frontières here.

Lent: A How-To for Mystics

(Reprinted from Elephant Journal. First publication 3/8/11.)

I am not, nor have I ever been, your typical Christian. Most wouldn’t even call me Christian, though I would say my spiritual reality is very catholic (small “c” intentional) and I do have my own special relationship with Christ.

I am in no way claiming to be your spiritual adviser in these things. As a Mystic, you most likely draw from many faiths as I do, finding merit in each. Religion is a veil gracing the heart of what prayer and spiritual practice offer. (You say thief, I say liberator!)

As a Mystic you are also your own Priest, and therefore vested with the power to administer your own sacramentals. (I say Mystic, you say heretic!)

As with any spiritual under taking, intention is everything. So in choosing the way you want to observe Lent, remember that it’s not the destination that matters, but the journey. In other words, it’s not about “making it to Easter”, it’s about learning from the experience.

1. Basics of Lent: Lent is the 40-day period between Ash Wednesday (in this case, March 9) and Holy Thursday. Holy Thursday is the end of Lent, and the beginning of the three holy days of Easter.

2. Three Pillars: There are three pillars of Lent in traditional Catholicism. The pillars are fasting, prayer, and alms-giving. The basic premise of these spiritual undertakings

a. Fasting isn’t really about not eating, it’s about what you learn from not eating, or how you allow not eating to alter your perception. It can also be about allowing yourself temporary liberation from the cycle of eat-or-be-eaten, getting really high on just your breath, or allowing yourself the space to allow for worship to become a higher order of priority than bodily needs.

Spiritual fasting is a varied experience. People do it for all kinds of reasons, and get all kinds of results. I recommend that as you fast, you noticing your hunger. Experience your hunger as the hunger of that Rumi had for conversation with Shamz. That Teresa of Avila had for Christ.

b. Prayer is an adjunct to spiritual fasting that makes the whole more than the sum of its parts. When the energy of hunger is turned to a fevered devotion, prayer becomes a love song to God.

c. Alms-giving is a way to make the concept of sacrifice foundational and interactive. What are you willing to give up in order to benefit the lives of those around you? In your chosen hunger are you willing to feed with your food those who don’t choose hunger? Are you willing to offer your time, energy and intention to putting the words “love your neighbor” into action?

3. How-To, for the Mystic:

a. Ash Wednesday: “Remember, O man, that you are dust, and unto dust you shall return.” —Genesis 3:19.

Ash Wednesday is the day when you see Catholics walking around with ash crosses on their foreheads. You, as your own Priest, will want to prepare a mixture of ash and water or oil. The ash can be from a piece of paper with a “sin” you’d like to eradicate written on it.

Once cool take the ash, make the paste, and paint a cross on your forehead with the ash, recognizing your willingness to bow before the Will of the power greater than yourself.

b. Build Your Lent: How much do you want to fast? What do you want to abstain from? What are you willing to tithe or offer up?Will you fast with water only? Bread and water? One single meal? Any of these options, or even less stringent undertakings such as eating lightly, forgoing meat, or forgoing other foods you enjoy. Or even foods you just eat habitually.

How do you want to enact the teachings of Christ?

This is not about the sacrifice that Christ made, but about the sacrifices you are willing to make in order to become more Christ-like. What actions can you surrender, and what actions can you commit to that will allow the light of Christ to flourish within you?

c. Holy Thursday, aka Thursday of Mysteries. Now it’s about Christ. This is a commemoration of the Last Supper.

After the last super was that night under the olive trees in the Garden of Gethsemane. “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.” Reflect upon the Sacrifice that Christ was facing. What cup of poison are you shying away from? Will you take the cup, or will you flee?

Spend this night in reflection of what’s being asked of you by God.

d. Holy Friday is a commemoration of the crucifixion of Christ. Traditionally this is a day of fasting and mourning. If you really want to go for it you could spend Friday dressed in sack-cloth and covered in ashes, or taking a more direct and experiential connection with the Passion of the Christ, spend a in a cave wrapped in nothing but a shroud.

e. The Easter Vigil begins Saturday evening. You may take Saturday as another fasting day, clearing the ash and dust from your soul, until evening which is the officially the beginning of Holy Sunday, or…

f. Resurrection Day! You’ve made it! Don’t you feel great? What have you been reborn to, aside from the love of Christ? Or, in addition to it? Eat, drink, and be merry, bathed in the Light of Love and Rebirth!

I hope you have enjoyed your journey through this Mystic’s guide to Lent. May it provide good food – and fast – for thought. Amen.

Lent: A How-To for Mystics at Elephant.

Read my latest at Elephant Journal, Lent; A How-To for Mystics, TODAY!

Excerpt:

I am not, nor have I ever been, your typical Christian. Most wouldn’t even call me Christian, though I would say my spiritual reality is very catholic (small “c” intentional) and I do have my own special relationship with Christ.

I am in no way claiming to be your spiritual adviser in these things. As a Mystic, you most likely draw from many faiths as I do, finding merit in each. Religion is a veil gracing the heart of what prayer and spiritual practice offer. (You say thief, I say liberator!)

As a Mystic you are also your own Priest, and therefore vested with the power to administer your own sacramentals. (I say Mystic, you say heretic!)

As with any spiritual under taking, intention is everything. So in choosing the way you want to observe Lent, remember that it’s not the destination that matters, but the journey. In other words, it’s not about “making it to Easter”, it’s about learning from the experience.

Read the rest NOW at Elephant! Enjoy, and peace be with you.

Breaking Out of Isolation

Lonely, by John Arsenault

There are lots of lonely people in the US. According to a study titled “Social Isolation in America: Changes in Core Discussion Networks Over Two Decades that was published in 2006, one in four Americans have not a single person in their lives with whom they discuss “important matters.” And, more than half of Americans have not a single confidant that is outside of their family. This means that nearly half the population of the United States qualifies as “extremely isolated.”

Isn’t that sad? So, start conversations. Ask people what matters to them. Standing in line at the grocery store, walking your dog in the park, dropping your kid off at school…choose one person and start a conversation with him or her. This may not lead to deep and lasting friendship, but who knows; it certainly could!

Want a starting point? Here are a few ideas:

1. Induce a positive state by thinking of a recent, really great experience you had. Recall as much detail as you are able; tastes, smells, colors, sounds, feelings. Then, turn it up. Intensify the memory. Make it brighter, bolder, yummier! This will put you in a really great mood, and moods can be caught more easily than colds!

2. Ask questions that matter. Okay, don’t dive in with “How’s your love life?”, but what about “How’s your family?”, “How’s your life?”. Work slowly and gently towards questions like, “What do you want more than anything?”

3. If all else fails, you can talk about the study I sighted above, or talk about this column. Tell your new friends that this is a homework assignment that’s designed to spread the healing effects of connection!

During these conversations, stay attentive to your new friend. Listen deeply. Follow your gut. Rely upon your senses to tell you when to go deeper and when to back off a bit. Listen to your body. Listen with your body. Listen deeply to their bodies, and their words. And watch the results blossom.

For My Love…

This is the beginning
all possibility and nubile gestures
the soft, damp dawn
touched with dew and whispy, whispery fog
we live in a valley of green
hills of gold
crowning moist, damp earth

there will come a time
where we gather these days around us
an aged bounty of petals
strewn whimsically on a sturdy, well-worn floor
and, creaking with the walls
flesh earth-like and joints like stone
we’ll dance gently into night

Creative, DIY Valentine’s Day Gifts

The Gift of Recognition

Altruistic Fostering: http://balneus.wordpress.com/2010/01/30/chimps-altruism-and-helping-with-the-kids-of-others/

This week in my teleclass series, A Course in Deep Acceptance, we’re working on the theme of “Family”. Here I’ll share one of the exercises from the course materials with you.

The Gift of Recognition

Sometimes when I’m in the middle of a project it’s hard to hear a request for my attention as anything other than a distraction. And the less I pay attention, the bigger my child’s need gets for a moment of connection.

Soon, the chant of “mom! Mom! MOm! MOM!” begins, and my edge starts rising.

The energy shifts the moment that I remember this is an opportunity for presence and a chance for a moment of divine interaction. All I need to do is come present in love.

Today, I invite you to consciously enter into interaction as a moment-to-moment opportunity for the experience of pure presence. Bring your whole self into your heart, and connect from there.

Recognize the inherent wholeness, integrity, perfection in your loved ones, in strangers, in yourself. Make “love” a verb.

Want more? Read The Devotion of Presence and The Presence of Devotion; Dilemmas of a Householder.

Nahalin – Memories of a World Apart

sunset outside nahalinSince 2007, memories of Palestine have been resting, sometimes silently, sometimes urgently, beneath the day-to-day breath of my life.

Having made a new friend who walked some of the same roads I did, the memories rise again to the surface, unanchored:

Sunset on the edge of the village of Nahalin, a family gathers on the rooftop of their cement and rebar home. Two ancient women. A beautiful young mother, striking yet modest in dark hijab, her child climbing onto her lap. Simply-dressed, elegant-limbed young men.

I smell the Arabic coffee from the car as we drive by, cardamom and sugar mixed with the earthy, deep smell of the Middle Eastern roast. I ask the men I am riding with, “What’s the occasion do you think?” They say, “Evening.”

The moment stops for me, a freeze-frame set in my mind’s eye. “This is what the world is like when it slows down,” I think.

Riding from a peace gathering outside Bethlehem back into town with a car full of Arab men I don’t know, I am grateful for having taken the road less traveled by.

The driver is jovial. He drives fast. The three men sing boisterously along with an Arabic pop song on the radio, laughing, for a moment entirely carefree.

I watch ancient terracing and olive trees flit by outside the window. The evening turns a deeper shade of shifting gold, horizon molten and the air dusky.

“I will remember this moment for the rest of my life,” I think.

This is only one petal, of one rose, of a garden of roses. Too many stories to tell. But slowly – shwaya, shwaya – some of them will find their way to my lips, ensh’llah.

In Honor of Dr. King – Lest We Forget

On this day, and everyday, let us remember those who have gone before us, engaged in the ongoing struggle for recognition of the rights of all. Let us not forget the strides that have been made through applied inspiration, engaged activism, and movement toward the Greatest Dreams. And, let us not shy away from the miles ahead of us as we walk, march, and climb resolutely toward a tomorrow as shinning as the promise of our Dreams.

*`*`*`*

I Have a Dream

Martin Luther King, Jr., Washington, DC, August 28, 1963

Mr. Fingers – Can You Feel It – Martin Luther King Mix

I am happy to join with you today in what will go down in history as the greatest demonstration for freedom in the history of our nation.

Five score years ago, a great American, in whose symbolic shadow we stand today, signed the Emancipation Proclamation. This momentous decree came as a great beacon light of hope to millions of Negro slaves who had been seared in the flames of withering injustice. It came as a joyous daybreak to end the long night of their captivity.

But one hundred years later, the Negro still is not free. One hundred years later, the life of the Negro is still sadly crippled by the manacles of segregation and the chains of discrimination. One hundred years later, the Negro lives on a lonely island of poverty in the midst of a vast ocean of material prosperity. One hundred years later, the Negro is still languishing in the corners of American society and finds himself an exile in his own land. So we have come here today to dramatize a shameful condition.

In a sense we have come to our nation’s capital to cash a check. When the architects of our republic wrote the magnificent words of the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence, they were signing a promissory note to which every American was to fall heir. This note was a promise that all men, yes, black men as well as white men, would be guaranteed the unalienable rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

It is obvious today that America has defaulted on this promissory note insofar as her citizens of color are concerned. Instead of honoring this sacred obligation, America has given the Negro people a bad check, a check which has come back marked “insufficient funds.” But we refuse to believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt. We refuse to believe that there are insufficient funds in the great vaults of opportunity of this nation. So we have come to cash this check — a check that will give us upon demand the riches of freedom and the security of justice. We have also come to this hallowed spot to remind America of the fierce urgency of now. This is no time to engage in the luxury of cooling off or to take the tranquilizing drug of gradualism. Now is the time to make real the promises of democracy. Now is the time to rise from the dark and desolate valley of segregation to the sunlit path of racial justice. Now is the time to lift our nation from the quick sands of racial injustice to the solid rock of brotherhood. Now is the time to make justice a reality for all of God’s children.

It would be fatal for the nation to overlook the urgency of the moment. This sweltering summer of the Negro’s legitimate discontent will not pass until there is an invigorating autumn of freedom and equality. Nineteen sixty-three is not an end, but a beginning. Those who hope that the Negro needed to blow off steam and will now be content will have a rude awakening if the nation returns to business as usual. There will be neither rest nor tranquility in America until the Negro is granted his citizenship rights. The whirlwinds of revolt will continue to shake the foundations of our nation until the bright day of justice emerges.

But there is something that I must say to my people who stand on the warm threshold which leads into the palace of justice. In the process of gaining our rightful place we must not be guilty of wrongful deeds. Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred.

We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. We must not allow our creative protest to degenerate into physical violence. Again and again we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with soul force. The marvelous new militancy which has engulfed the Negro community must not lead us to a distrust of all white people, for many of our white brothers, as evidenced by their presence here today, have come to realize that their destiny is tied up with our destiny. They have come to realize that their freedom is inextricably bound to our freedom. We cannot walk alone.

As we walk, we must make the pledge that we shall always march ahead. We cannot turn back. There are those who are asking the devotees of civil rights, “When will you be satisfied?” We can never be satisfied as long as the Negro is the victim of the unspeakable horrors of police brutality. We can never be satisfied, as long as our bodies, heavy with the fatigue of travel, cannot gain lodging in the motels of the highways and the hotels of the cities. We cannot be satisfied as long as the Negro’s basic mobility is from a smaller ghetto to a larger one. We can never be satisfied as long as our children are stripped of their selfhood and robbed of their dignity by signs stating “For Whites Only”. We cannot be satisfied as long as a Negro in Mississippi cannot vote and a Negro in New York believes he has nothing for which to vote. No, no, we are not satisfied, and we will not be satisfied until justice rolls down like waters and righteousness like a mighty stream.

I am not unmindful that some of you have come here out of great trials and tribulations. Some of you have come fresh from narrow jail cells. Some of you have come from areas where your quest for freedom left you battered by the storms of persecution and staggered by the winds of police brutality. You have been the veterans of creative suffering. Continue to work with the faith that unearned suffering is redemptive.

Go back to Mississippi, go back to Alabama, go back to South Carolina, go back to Georgia, go back to Louisiana, go back to the slums and ghettos of our northern cities, knowing that somehow this situation can and will be changed. Let us not wallow in the valley of despair.

I say to you today, my friends, so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: “We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal.”

I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.

I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day, down in Alabama, with its vicious racists, with its governor having his lips dripping with the words of interposition and nullification; one day right there in Alabama, little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers.

I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight, and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together.

This is our hope. This is the faith that I go back to the South with. With this faith we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day.

This will be the day when all of God’s children will be able to sing with a new meaning, “My country, ’tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing. Land where my fathers died, land of the pilgrim’s pride, from every mountainside, let freedom ring.”

And if America is to be a great nation this must become true. So let freedom ring from the prodigious hilltops of New Hampshire. Let freedom ring from the mighty mountains of New York. Let freedom ring from the heightening Alleghenies of Pennsylvania!

Let freedom ring from the snowcapped Rockies of Colorado!

Let freedom ring from the curvaceous slopes of California!

But not only that; let freedom ring from Stone Mountain of Georgia!

Let freedom ring from Lookout Mountain of Tennessee!

Let freedom ring from every hill and molehill of Mississippi. From every mountainside, let freedom ring.

And when this happens, when we allow freedom to ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God’s children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual, “Free at last! free at last! thank God Almighty, we are free at last!”

It’s never the same river twice.

Winter Solstice brought 2010 to a powerful close with a solstice/full moon/eclipse, and 2011 began with another astrological event that was intense. And while I don’t put store in the “determinist” theories of astrology, I do find many models and modes of exploration worth incorporating into my personal practice and path.

So, the full moon/lunar eclipse end of 2011 served as the beginning of a reintroduction of sitting meditation into my practice. And the full moon/solar eclipse brought me to a “rear-view mirror” look at my forward momentum.

An astrologer friend recommended that I look back about twenty years to see what the repeating pattern was, and I found a few. But the biggest one had, and has, to do with developing my new telecourse, A Course in Deep Acceptance.

Twenty years ago I was at Sonoma State University. During the spring semester of ’91, I did an independent project as two of my course credits. The project was the creation of a training I called Toward Mindful Action. Interestingly, but not really surprisingly, this training held many of the same strands as I am weaving into the course materials for Deep Acceptance.

Finding that the house you’re building is still going up on the same foundational beliefs you’ve always held is a true reward. I’m grateful to the astrological portents for drawing my attention to the right journal, at the right moment, that brought me back to the core of it. Presence.

Sometimes the graceful spiral nature of development seems so clear; here I am, twenty years later, stepping my foot into the river – except that it’s never the same river twice. The water changes, the sand moves, the banks shift.

Then we awaken to the moment, and there is no river.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Today (Jan 5, 2011) is the last day of registration for this course-cycle.

My final Sexy Witch course is full, though there are 2 possibles – so a seat MAY open – put yourself on my waiting list.

A Course in Deep Acceptance has a beautiful crew, and there are a few seats open. I’m psyched working with the class materials, and look forward to sharing it with YOU!

Get in touch ASAP to get on board. ♥

ms.allen@lasaraallen.com

Looking Forward to 2011!

Looking Forward to 2011!

(Instead of Resolutions, Try Dedications, Intentions, and WHY NOTs Instead.)

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Dedications:

Self:

  • To keep working toward my best over-all health:
    • Exercise.
    • Diet.
    • Rest and Relaxation.
    • Meditation.
    • Mental health hygiene.
    • To listen to my body.
  • To be gentle with myself.
  • To continue deepening my spiritual practice.
  • To continue falling more and more into alignment with my soul/sole purpose.
  • To prioritize my creative and professional life, in balance with personal and familial care.
  • To welcome the big 4 – 0 with open arms!
  • To continue teaching, writing, and doing my work in the world.

Family:

  • To HAVE FUN together!
  • To spend regular, dedicated quality time with my man.
  • To spend regular, dedicated quality time with each of my girls.
  • To spend quality time with my girls, as a unit of three.
  • To create more intentional, shared family time.
  • To do fun fitness things together.
  • To socialize more as a family.
  • To remember to give gifts of time, words, touch, things, and love to my loved ones.
  • To celebrate all the important family holidays, commemorations, anniversaries, and notable events with mindfulness, joy, and non-attachment.

Community:

  • To continue with my grateful giving projects – and to share that experience with others, including family and friends.
    • Blanket, socks, and jacket drive.
    • Project Pizza
    • ???
  • To continue finding and fostering new friendships.
  • To continue renewing and deepening relationships with old friends.
  • To make space for social time, and follow through with intentionality.

Intentions:

  • To take life less seriously, and have more ease.
  • To continue embracing “balanced” and “normal” as positives in my personal experience.
  • To allow my ‘platform’ to shift into this alignment, with me.
  • To welcome even more wealth, and more joy and ease in the having and sharing of it.
  • To reintroduce daily yoga practice into my life.
  • To rededicate myself to sitting meditation practice.
  • To share yoga and meditation with my kids and man more.
  • To create spaces for community to gather for fun and enrichment.
  • To re-introduce teaching and facilitating face-to-face in my work.
  • To spend more time taking little trips with the Mr., and with the family.
  • To finally complete a new book.

Why Not???:

  • Plan and budget for me and the Mr.’s belated honeymoon?
  • Finally get certified as a yoga instructor?
  • Get certified as a Zumba! teacher?
  • Pitch some of the big-name websites, like Huffington Post, Psychology Today…?

Thank you for being part of my circle, and witnessing me on the path. And thank you for allowing me to do the same for you. (Please post some of your dedications in the comments section below!)

May the coming year bring all of our sweetest dreams to flower and fruit. Peace, love, health, and wealth to you in this new year of a new decade!
-Lasara

A New – Or POST – New Year’s Tradition; Give Up Resolutions!

— It’s Never Too Late to Try Dedications, Intentions, and WHY NOTs!

by Lasára Allen, www.LasaraAllen.com

Are you planning on making any resolutions for the coming year?

Many of us make New Year’s resolutions – and then fail. A whopping 88% of well-meaning New Year’s revelers will “fail” in achieving the resolutions they set out as a goal at 12:01 AM, January 1st.

Though I have almost always met with success in my new year’s resolutions, I think resolutions come from a somewhat limited, and limiting, perspective. So instead of resolutions his year, I’ve chosen to make lists of Dedications, Intentions and WHY NOTs.

But always with any commitment I make, New Year’s or otherwise, I include one cautionary caveat, which I encourage you to adopt as well; remember that while any marker – New Year’s day, the new moon, an anniversary, or your birthday – can serve as an activator for a commitment, every breath is a chance for a new choice.

When you “fall short” of a commitment, offer yourself compassion instead of self-denigration. Gratitude for a lesson learned instead of self-blame.

It helps me to think of my dedications, intentions, and wishes (my WHY NOT list) as practices. For me, practice means that though I’m not perfect at it (that’s why it’s called practice, right?), I can grow more committed to my practice every day, or even every moment.

“I can grow more committed to my practice every moment.” I find this a great phrase, prayer, or mantra to remember as needed.

In the list structure I’ve designed, each list category has a descending, or higher to lower, level of commitment. 1: Dedications; 2: Intentions; 3; The “WHY NOT?” List.

Here’s a quick, easy guide on how to build these lists, and a few examples per category.

List One; Dedications:

The Mirriam-Webster Dictionary offers four definitions for the word dedication.

1 : an act or rite of dedicating to a divine being or to a sacred use, 2 : a devoting or setting aside for a particular purpose, 3 : a name and often a message prefixed to a literary, musical, or artistic production in tribute to a person or cause, 4 : self-sacrificing devotion <her dedication to the cause>, 5 : a ceremony to mark the official completion or opening of something…

I think all of these definitions have relevance here. Dedications are like vows that I’m making with God, my family, my community, the flow of life in general. And my life in specific. Of the three lists described here, this one carries the highest level of commitment.

In building this list think of the things you truly are committed to enacting in your everyday life. Consider the ways you want your life to shift, the relationships you will reconfigure, the people you are responsible for or to.

Then set pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard, as case may be), and get writing. You can write out as many or as few as feels right. If your list gets too long, you can number each item by level of importance or resonance, and cut the ones that rank lowest.

Here are a few examples:

* To recognize that every area of my practice is an act of dedication to the liberation of all sentient beings pervading time and space.
* To recognize that mindfully and selflessly being of service to my husband, my children, my family, my friends, and my community is an inherent part of my spiritual practice, and to treat it as such. And, to remember that this is also a practice that engenders the attitudes of enlightenment that will lead eventually to the liberation of all beings.
* To continue following the path that my practices open for me.
* To build a circle of similarly minded friends in my community, and to actively commit to this as a practice of faith, desire, and love.
* To continue trusting that God has a plan for me that is greater than I can see, and that everyday I’m fulfilling that plan by living my life in accordance with my True Will, and with as much consciousness as I am capable of achieving.

List Two; Intentions

Mirriam-Webster has six definitions of the word intention. Of the six, I feel that the following five are all interestingly relevant in this case.

1 : a determination to act in a certain way : resolve, 2 : import, significance, 3 a : what one intends to do or bring about b : the object for which a prayer, mass, or pious act is offered, 4 : a process or manner of healing of incised wounds, 5 : concept; especially : a concept considered as the product of attention directed to an object of knowledge…

And here’s the etymology, thanks to etymonline.com;

intend c.1300, “direct one’s attention to,” from O.Fr. intendre “to direct one’s attention,” from L. intenderein- “toward” + tendere “to stretch” (see tenet). Sense of “have as a plan” (1390) was present in Latin. A Gmc. word for this was ettle, from O.N. ætla “to think, conjecture, propose,” from P.Gmc. *ahta “consideration, attention” (cf. O.E. eaht, Ger. acht). …

Intentions are thoughts, experiences and occurrences that you are casting forward into your future. Intentions may not take as much day-to-day attention, or may not be as interactive with others in your life. Whatever they are, for me they often have a lot to do with feeling-states and the outcomes of them.

Some examples of Intentions list items:

* To allow perfect abundance to enter into and flow in my life, and to have less attachment about how that flow occurs. To trust that God knows best how to deliver this abundance.
* To follow the attraction and direction of my heart with grace, trust, and joy.
* To invest in and develop forgiveness for myself and the harm that occurred in my past.
* More and more, to allow the support I so deeply desire.
* To take what I have learned of trust, honesty, and openness from my husband and begin generalizing it to the rest of the world.

List 3; The “WHY NOT?” List:

I got the idea for a WHY NOT list from Self Magazine actually. I thought it sounded like a great idea – to give myself the chance to dream big, and think outside the daily details of family, plans, life, family, service, love, did I mention family?

WHY NOT take a few minutes and get very self-focused?If you could do anything, what would it be? And remember, anything you truly desire, you most likely can pull off.

In my life I have found so much inspiration from people who have come up against challenges and beat the odds; a man with a prosthetic leg finishing a marathon in just over five hours. My dad being diagnosed with cancer and, instead of succumbing, actually choosing to live for the first time in his life. My sister, an amazing woman summited Mount Everest in her mid-40s.

This resilience and willingness to strive relies so much on a WHY NOT? attitude.

Even if you don’t complete all of them, just the willingness to reach for your WHY NOTs guarantees that you’ll have a great time in the coming year, and beyond.

Some of my WHY NOTs:

* Work toward my best comprehensive health in my life.
* Explore new religions. (Catholicism, traditional Tantra, deeper into Tibetan Buddhism and Tantric teachings and ritual.)
* Explore excavation of darkness and shadow, in the light.
* Go dancing.
* Take a dance class.
* Take a voice class

And, my final commitment; to view these lists at least once every three months, and mark off the things that actually have a completion point, and put stars next to the things I’m doing well with that are paths without destinations.

An often suggested tip that will help you keep to your commitments is the creation of an accountability system. This may be a one-on-one buddy system, a group, or even a public declaration with sceduled check in days. Share your Dedications, Intentions, and WHAT IFs with people who care, people who believe in you, people who will support you in your desired growth. And you can offer the same support back.

If you feel brave, you can allow this page to be part of YOUR accountability system. Feel free to post some (or all) of your Dedications, Intentions, and WHAT IFs in the comments section below.

With wishes of joy, abundance, and greatest gratitude, a very heartfelt prayer for a New Year that is beyond your sweetest dreams, from my heart to yours.

New Year’s Lazer Coaching Sessions – Start the New Year with focus and direction! * Mind, Body, Spirit Program – Three Week Program that will get your started on your path for 2011

Self-Care for the Holiday Season

The holidays are upon us. No matter what your spiritual persuasion, you’re probably going to be finding time within this season of cold days and long nights to gather with family and friends, sit around the feast table, and celebrate some light in the darkness. What a wonderful thing!

But even so, the most joyful season still comes with holiday stress. And, between travel, shopping, parties, and family commitments, many of us don’t take very good care of ourselves in the midst of it all. During the holidays, most of us eat more – and more poorly. We exercise less. We let our spiritual practices slip. I mean, who has time to meditate? There’s a sale on, and I still have gifts to buy! (Right?)

The result; physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion.

In addition to the basic stressors listed above, the holidays are the loneliest time of the year for many. Depression rates increase in the darker months, and many people experience physical and psychological ills when faced with the prospect of gathering with family. (Ever heard of the Christmas Migraine? It’s a real thing.)

For a change, why not make a pre-New Year’s resolution? Dedicate yourself to defeating the stress and depression many of us associate with this time of year, before it even happens.

Remember your own self-care, and the rest will come easily; pleasure, enjoyment, and a healthful indulgence in the more lovely aspects of the season.

1. Eat With a Plan

The magic of the holidays doesn’t change the exercise/calories ratio. So, as usual, the more you exercise, the more calories you can take in without weight gain.

New studies show that though the amount of weight gained during the holidays is less than was assumed – around 1 pound gained between Thanksgiving the New Years – the weight gain is often long-lasting, if not permanent. On average, body weight in women increases by 5.2 percent in ten years. How much of that is holiday gain? It’s unclear. But, holiday munching is one culprit you can limit the power of by eating consciously, and entering the season with a plan.

If you’re in relatively good shape, your plan should include healthy eating choices, and balancing exercise with caloric intake. Don’t get neurotic about it, but pay attention. If your weight is already a health concern, your plan should be more intensive. And again, exercise is key to happy, healthy, guilt-free eating.

2. Exercise

Exercise keeps your weight down, and your heart healthy. As mentioned above, your holiday health plan must include exercise! There are many excellent reasons to include a solid dose of cardio in your regular plans. One reason, of course, is the exercise/calorie ratio. One pound of weight=3500 calories. So, as you keep track of your intake, you can tally, and exercise as needed to balance the indulgences.

Exercise is also a great treatment for depression, stress, anxiety, and seasonal affective disorder. According to a study published in the American Journal of Preventive Medicine in 2005, exercise is as effective as antidepressant medication for treating mild to moderate depression.

It’s also helpful in the treatment of Seasonal Affective Disorder. For treatment to be most effective, perform moderately intense cardio – exercise bike, treadmill, or other aerobic activity – for 30 – 35 minutes a day, 3 – 5 days a week.

If you’re on antidepressants, exercise is wonderful as a complimentary measure.

3. Take a Break

Take time to slow down. Relax into the rhythm that your body gravitates to in this dark time. Sit in the bathtub. Meditate. Pray. Greet the dark, and let it heal you.

Don’t forget to make time for sleep.

4. Spend Time with Those Closest to You:

In my little family, we plan our relaxation into the calendar, holidays or not. We plan chill time, family movie nights, and my husband and I religiously observe Tuesday evening as our date night.

Find some rituals that make sense to your and yours. Plan in and enjoy closeness with those near and dear in these coldest and darkest of days and nights. Tell and listen to stories. Watch the classic holiday films. Do crafts together.

5. Remember the Heart of What’s Most Important To You About the Season

What’s your favorite thing about the season? Is it friends, family, and gatherings? Who got or gave the greatest gift? Wassail and carols? Feeding the hungry? The lights and trees and sparkly things?

Whatever brings you joy make sure to keep it front and center. Focus on delight. Build your holiday around the parts that you, and those you love, find most important. It goes a long way toward keeping your holiday sane, sweet, and meaningful.

Need some help with your New Year’s Goals?

Sign up for Lasara’s Three-Week Mind, Body, and Spirit Renewal Program!

Baby, It’s Cold Outside – A Very Groovy Christmas Collection

Happy holidays! Enjoy this fun and funky Christmas mix!

Holiday themed articles:
Of Dark Nights and Wood Stoves – A Christmas Reminiscence
Compassionate Consumerism
Reframing Your Family’s Recesssion Anxiety to Conscious Consumerism
Five Ways to Engage Your Kids in Grateful Giving

Support an independent business person; ME!!!

Tarot Readings with Lasara – Gfit Certificates holiday special!

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January, 2013; A LOCAL, IN-PERSON SEXY WITCH COURSE?
YOU can make this happen. Local? Register now.

Of Dark Nights and Wood Stoves – A Christmas Reminiscence

I got our tree today, and some special new ornaments for each of us. (My own little tradition. Actually, I think my mom passed that one on?) We have lights, and candy canes. And a box of paraphernalia from Christmases past waiting to be unpacked.

Memories are flooding back this year. It’s interesting. And I wonder how much of the access to these particular memories – good ones, happy ones – how much of this is due to being on the right meds?

No matter; it’s nice to be able to travel back in time, back before the fall from grace, long ago, to an age of innocence.

I am thinking of how Christmas was when I was a kid. How we made popcorn and cranberry strings for the trees. Made sugar cookies, gingerbread men and women. How I used to make wreaths myself and sell them from door to door, mostly store fronts. I made my own money to buy gifts for all my family members. And I was young. I think I started my first entrepreneurial adventure at the tender age of seven?

Before wreaths, I sold mistletoe. Hand picked, and tied in a ribbon. Magic infused. I knew how the Witches cut it – with your left hand only, and don’t ever let it touch the ground.

My parents cut trees from our acreage, and sold them in town. This was back when trees were not expected to be “perfect” – or uniform.

And back even further…on the drive home I notice lights  – first, it’s the display at the north end of town — that same house that’s been putting up a huge light display for as far back as I can remember, making it at least 35 years that this family has brought their own contribution of light to the darkness. Who knows who they are, or how many more years the lights will show up shortly after Dec. 1?

Then, I begin noticing the lights of the houses, scattered in the distance. Simple lights, in well-lit, probably well warmed homes. It think back to when I was a kid – the sheer crystaline darkness and sparking diamonds of stars – no lights. No lights at all.

Except after hiking for hours. After a trek like that, you see a light in the distance, smoke rising from a chimny, and promising warmth, food, company. Far back, to the early years.The years where you hiked to a neighbor’s home. Miles. And then stayed for a night or two before venturing home.

This was the new frontier. The backwoods enclaves of Northern California. The edge of an era. Back before there were all-season roads to the houses we lived in. Back before solar/photo voltaic systems and battery banks. Back before anyone owned a generator. Back when off-grid was a moment to moment dance with the elements. back before there were bridges over the creeks, before cell phones and the internet.

Seeing the lights in doorways on my way home nearly brought tears. And then I thought…

“Wow. I’ve had this life that many would have a hard time believing. A life where light in the distance was a precious thing. Where visits to a “neighbor’s” house took hours hiking, parents packed with kids and clothes, but you did it anyway, even – or maybe especially – in the winter. Because you got lonely in the dark months, and a shared meal, shared conversation, provided sustenance of a sacred sort.”

So tonight I jot it down. What is remembered lives. The early days, where we got as close the The Garden as we ever did. Where we gathered, stardust, golden.

Tonight I’m grateful for that precious, hidden life I lead as a child. No idle hands. You  worked all the time, but it was honest work.

And sometimes – especially in the winter – there were cookies baking in the oven of our antique cream and green Wedgewood wood stove. Goat milk hot cocoa. The Mexican kind – a little spicy. And even sometimes whipped cream, if we’d braved the elements – rushing rivers and mud slides of roads – to get to town for supplies.

The early days were innocence – back to The Garden. I didn’t know anything else. It was cold outside, but we huddled near the wood stove with our hot cocoa and cookies, sat in the light of kerosene lamps and candles, and read old stories out of old books aloud.

Other holiday themed articles:
Of Dark Nights and Wood Stoves – A Christmas Reminiscence
Compassionate Consumerism
Reframing Your Family’s Recesssion Anxiety to Conscious Consumerism
Five Ways to Engage Your Kids in Grateful Giving

Support an independent business person; ME!!!

Tarot Readings with Lasara – Gfit Certificates holiday special!

Register a loved one for the Sexy Witch Teleclass experience!!!

January, 2013; A LOCAL, IN-PERSON SEXY WITCH COURSE?
YOU can make this happen. Local? Register now.

Thanksgiving is Just One Day, But Gratitude is a Gift We Can Share All Year Round!

Some Thanksgiving Fun and Games, for Thanksgiving Day and Everyday

A GREAT Set of Games Designed to Help Bring Gratitude Into PLAY

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

A Gratitude Round Robin – Gratitude Games

A Grateful A to Z – A Gratitude Game for Kids of All Ages

How to Create a Gratitude Altar

Host a Gratitude Gathering

 

Read My Other Gratitude and Thanksgiving Related Posts:

Gratitude Quotes

Five Ways to Engage Your Kids in Grateful Giving

Three Simple Steps to Gratitude

The Benefits of Gratitude in Family Life

How to Grow a Grateful World: Three Steps to Engaged Gratitude

Thanks and Thanksgiving – Gratitude is a Gift, and so is Remembrance

Most of us know something about the far-from-glorious fall-out that followed that first, mythical “Thanksgiving Day”. It’s easy enough to get attached to the negative political connotations of this holiday, and to have Thanksgiving become “Guiltfast” or “Guiltfest”.

In no way do I want to belittle the horror and carnage that followed the “founding of a new land” (new to whom?) as manifest destiny was used as an ideological weapon that allowed the settlers to push westward, killing and being killed, and irrevocably changing the fabric of a nation forever.

The inarguable atrocities occurred for hundreds of years, and continue to this day. The Trail of Tears (or, “Nunna dual Tsuni” in the Cherokee language; The Trail Where They Cried)“Americanization” of Native peoples. Broken treaties.

However, we can also believe – or at least hope against hope – that there was, once upon a time, that first gathering of thanksgiving, where the newcomers, out of a deep sense of gratitude and recognition, invited the native people to share a feast with them in thanks for the help that had allowed the settlers to survive their early days in a new land.

This coming together of openhearted and grateful sharing is the spirit I attempt to enter into the holiday with. This, and the belief that it’s worth dedicating at least one day out of the year to the practice of gratitude.

Thanksgiving day does not need to be a political statement. I’ll go even further and say that though the institutionalization of the federal holiday may have originally been a political move, the observation of the holiday has become one of that is patently apolitical. And while the original wording of the proclamations that the Thanksgiving holiday is built upon were Christian in intent, the observation has become more or less secular.

Today, for most Americans, the spirit of Thanksgiving is one of inclusion. Pagans, and even Atheists celebrate Thanksgiving. It’s a chance to take inventory of our lives, an opportunity to consciously reflect upon and share the things we are truly grateful for with friends and family. And a time to indulge in the fruits of our harvests – literal or metaphoric – by way of a large feast, often brought together in a stone-soup or potluck manner.

Like so many of the celebrations of the darkening season, this feast is both a recognition of bounty, and a practice of faith. Faith that through shared abundance, there’s no winter that will be hard enough that we don’t get through it. And at the basic, beautiful, mundanely rooted nature of it, the actual bounty is in no way metaphoric, but is wholly celebratory.

Perhaps somewhere in these days leading up to the holiday you’ll take some time to reflect on the history of the native people of these lands, because this dark side of the history of this nation should never be forgotten – and all too often, it is.

Perhaps you will educate your children about the shadows that dwell behind the images of Pilgrims and turkeys that adorn their classrooms, because their teachers are not going to. Maybe you’ll take a moment of silent prayer, or maybe even shared prayer, in recognition of the hidden history of the Indian Wars and the cultural genocide of the native peoples of this country before (or even at) your Thanksgiving gathering – because until there’s a federally recognized Indigenous People’s Day proclaimed, this is one of the few days out of the year that reminds us of our national shadow history.

And, maybe the awareness of what you’re grateful for will serve as a reminder to offer what you can to those who have less.

And, I hope you’ll begin counting your blessings. Because once you begin counting, you won’t be able to stop.

On Thanksgiving, you have an opportunity to recognize not just the bounty of your table piled high and your cup running over, but also the wealth of community, family, and abundance of all forms. And the more conscious you become of what it is that you’re grateful for, the deeper your experience of the holiday of Thanksgiving will be.

Some Thanksgiving Fun and Games:

A Gratitude Round Robin – Gratitude Games * A Grateful A to Z – A Gratitude Game for Kids of All Ages

Read My Other Gratitude and Thanksgiving Related Posts:

Five Ways to Engage Your Kids in Grateful Giving * How to Create a Gratitude Altar * The Benefits of Gratitude in Family Life *

A Gratitude Game – Gratitude Round-Robin

Definition of Terms

a. Round is a go-around where everyone in a group gives their answer.

b. Round-Leader is the facilitator of the round. This position transitions at the conclusion of each round. The role of round leader can go to the person who wants it next, or you can pass the role in the round, either to the left or right. If a player does not want to be a round leader, they can pass.

Basic Guidelines:

a. Never force, “cajole” , or pressure any player into responding to any prompt. “Pass” is always an acceptable response.

b. The main rule is: Answer from gratitude. BE GRATEFUL!

c. Always give the person who is offering their gratitude the floor. Do not interrupt them, question them, or quiet them. If you’re playing this as a family, it’s especially important that you allow one another the full range of voice.

Round-Robin:

Sitting in a circle, or around a table, one person starts with a statement of gratitude, then everyone else in the group follows one-by-one. The group can set guidelines as desired.

Some possibilities:

  • Stay within a theme for each round.
  • No repeats per round. (For example, if someone says they’re grateful for family, someone else may say they’re grateful for a person IN their family, but not repeat the more general idea.)
  • Staying with one idea for every round (like, the round-leader says they’re grateful for apples, then everyone in the round says why they’re grateful for apples).

A Grateful A – Z — A Gratitude Game for Kids of All Ages

When I was a kid, we played alphabet games in the car to pass the time on long drives or road trips. I’ve recreated one of those games, with a gratitude theme. A Grateful A to Z includes players of all ages – from talking age up.

A Grateful A to Z is an adaptable game. Variations are listed below. For young players, A Grateful A to Z serves two purposes; it teaches both language skills and gratitude! And, with older players, there are ways to make A Grateful A to Z more complicated.

You can choose a category, or allow A Grateful A to Z to be free-form. Free-form is recommended for younger players, and is easier than working with a category. Themes or categories are recommended for more advanced players.

1. Definition of terms:

a. “Round” is a go-around where everyone in a group gives their answer to the category, or passes.

b. “Round-Leader” is the facilitator of the round. This position transitions at the conclusion of each round. The role of round leader can go to the person who wants it next, or you can pass the role in the round, either to the left or right. If a player does not want to be a round leader, they can pass.

2. Basic Guidelines:

a. The main rule is: Answer from gratitude. Be GRATEFUL!

b. Never force, cajole, or pressure any player into responding to any prompt. “Pass” is always an acceptable response.

c. Always give the person who is offering their gratitude the floor. Do not interrupt, question, or quiet them. If you’re playing this as a family, it’s especially important that you allow one another the full range of voice.

Remember, you can print out these directions, or you can upload them to your palm-top and not print at all. Please keep your “footprint” in mind when considering your options.

Variations and Detailed Guidelines:

A Grateful A – Z, Freeform:
The round leader starts a round with the phrase “I’m grateful for…”, and chooses anything starting with an A. The round leader can pass the prompt either to the right or left. The round ends when the alphabet ends. You can make it more complicated by offering a “no repeats” guideline.

A Grateful A – Z, with Themes:
Round leader comes up with a theme – people you’re grateful for, things you’re grateful for, inventions you’re grateful for.

Enjoy playing A Grateful A to Z with your family this holiday season!

Eid al-Adha Mubarak!

Happy festival to you! If you made Hajj this year, mabruk! Alhamdulillah.

For those of you who are not Muslim, I offer a link to a “controversial” article I wrote in honor of Ramadan – Seven Things You Probably Didn’t Know About Islam. In honor of the Greater Festival of Islam, I hope it brings us closer to understanding and peaceful coexistence.

Salaam.

Holiday Health: Compassionate Consumerism, and Self-Care.

The holidays are (basically) upon us! Since starting to do the Holiday Season binge-shopping (yeah, me too), I thought I’d offer a link to my article, Gift Buying with Consciousness: A Guide to Compassionate Consumerism.

And, since we’re all prone to losing track of our self-care during the season, I am also linking Self-Care for the Holiday Season.

May the revelry commence! Stay safe, sane, and healthy, as we hurtle toward a brand new year. (Wow! Already?)

Stay tuned for more.

My Grandfather’s Flag

Marcus A. Golczynski, 30, the father of this child, was killed in Iraq on March 27, 2009. "We fight and sometimes die, so our families don't have to."

“…I hope you’ll take a moment to remember, to pray for, all those who have fallen in the lines of fire – not just “our” men and boys, wives and daughters, but all of those who have fallen, everywhere around the world.”
– Written Memorial Day, 2009, and offered again today. My Grandfather’s Flag.

In honor of our LIVING veterans, take some time today to see if there’s anything you can do to pitch in and take care of our walking wounded. For many, the war doesn’t end with the journey home. For some, it never ends.

Let’s support our veterans by bringing them home, and giving them the services they need to recover and come back to their lives as whole people.

It’s a dream, and perhaps a futile one, but I’ll say it; let’s end the wars. Let’s end all wars. Together, let’s pray and work for world peace. Let’s live and love peace. Let’s honor our loved ones who have suffered the effects of war by not having to send their children into battle.

Peace in our hearts, peace in our homes, peace in the world.

Sexy Witch January Course Still Open.

Sorry for the false alarm! The January Sexy Witch class series is still open. The page that showed up on my news feed and front page was supposed to be a private link for redirect for paypal payment for class. It’s designed so that the class cannot overfill, should anyone try to register after the limit is reached.

Sorry for any confusion this may have caused.

That said, “seats” are filling, so if you’re interested the time to save your spot is NOW! You can do so by paying a deposit OR the whole amount on this page.



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Ska-P – Ska-Core band take on the Intifada in Palestine

‎”Who would ever imagine…that David turned out to be Goliath?”

AWESOME, high-quality ska-core with some really relevant lyrics.

Want more on the topic? Read my article, What Middle East Peace Talks, over at elephantjournal.com.

What Middle East Peace Talks? (My latest at elephantjournal.com.)

My latest at elephantjournal.com — please click the link below to read.

(Author note: This is an opinion piece. I am posting it in response to a lack of awareness around the Middle East Peace talks. I respectfully request that you click through the links included in this article before commenting. The links offer a background story that may allow you to understand the heart of this article more easily.)

Imagine you are sitting in your home. Imagine that when you look out the window, you can see a wall growing closer and closer, day by day, straight toward the walls of your home. You know that the larger wall will not correct its course. You know that soon, very soon, your walls will be gone, leaving only the larger wall standing.

I look forward to reading your comments over at elephant!

The New Anti-Muslim Wave, Eid al Fitr, and 9/11 – What Will YOU Do?

Reprinted from elephantjournal.com. Original publication date; 9/7/2010Kill Muslims Image

Crazy fact:
The Jewish Holy Days move from year to year, the Muslim Holy Days move, and 9/11, of course, stays right where it is.
This year:
Rosh Hashanah: September 9, 2010
Eid al Fitr (the three-day feast/celebration at the end of Ramadan): September 10, 2010
And, 9/11.
Interesting line-up.

And a very frightening one for the Muslim community in the US. Especially with the Park51 situation being what it is.

For Muslims, the end of the holy month of Ramadan is typically cause for celebration, with three days of feasting and socializing after a month of daytime fasting.

This year, though, many American Muslims are greeting Ramadan’s end with a measure of worry, as the holiday coincides with the anniversary of the September 11, 2001, attacks.

The Council on American-Islamic Relations is doing what it can to counter the Park 51-inspired inspired wave of hatred, blame, and violence, it’s not enough. As we stand idly by, American Muslims are once again* the target of hate crimes across the country.

The following is current – and linked through out the article above, if you click through.

Four news stories from the CURRENT, 2010, wave:
UPDATE: Holley teens charged with targeting mosque
CARLTON — A Holley teen-ager was charged with a felony count of criminal possession of a weapon after allegedly firing a shotgun outside a mosque in Waterport on Monday night.

Racial slur and profanity spray-painted on mosque
Abdus Miah, a member of the mosque, is also a city Alderman.

“I thought… maybe somebody hates us. I was thinking that way. Or something like that. I don’t know. We never faced any kind of problem after 9-11. This is the first time,” said Miah.

Opponents of the Murfreesboro mosque say it’s not about religion. Their Muslim neighbors aren’t buying it.
An excavating crew broke ground on the site Aug. 20, 12 days after the Rutherford County Planning Commission provided final clearance. Pre-construction here has already begun — or at least it had, before an arsonist (or -ists) doused four excavators in accelerant and lit one on fire on Aug. 28.

Muslims in America increasingly alienated as hatred grows in Bible belt
On the anniversary of 9/11, Chris McGreal reports from the Tennessee town where Muslims have lived in harmony with Christians for decades – but where they now feel under threat

They came first for the Communists,
and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a Communist.

Then they came for the trade unionists,
and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a trade unionist.

Then they came for the Jews,
and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a Jew.

Then they came for me
and by that time no one was left to speak up.

- Pastor Martin Niemöller (1892–1984)

Are you for against religious tolerance? If you believe in religious freedom, do something. Do something TODAY. Do it now.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart Mon – Thurs 11p / 10c
Extremist Makeover – Homeland Edition
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Tea Party

* The PREVIOUS Anti-Muslim backlash — This article is from 2002, during the first post-9/11 wave of Islamophobia: On August 30, 2002, an anti-Muslim hate-rape took place in California. An 18 year-old man raped a 15-year old girl inside a Palo Alto Longs Drugs store while making anti-Muslim comments, according to the Palo Alto Police Department.
– http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/chronicle/archive/2002/09/01/BA140210.DTL

Seven Things You Probably Didn’t Know About Islam

Reprinted from elephantjournal.com, first publication date 9/4/2010

Bismillah, ar Rahman, ar Rahim. (In the name of Allah, most beneficent and merciful.)

Ramadan kareem!

1. Mystical Oneness with God
In a mystical sense, Islam is a non-dualist religion. When I first read these words by ‘Ali ibn Abi Talib and Fatima bint Muhammad, I was overwhelmed with a sense of, “Oh my God! Exactly!”

Thus whoever attaches attributes to [God] recognizes His like, and who recognizes His like regards Him two; 
and who regards Him two recognizes parts for Him;
 and who recognizes parts for Him mistook Him;
 and who mistook Him pointed at Him;
 and who pointed at Him admitted limitations for Him;
 and who admitted limitations for Him numbered Him.
Whoever said in what is He, held that He is contained;
 and whoever said on what is He held He is not on something else.

~ Ali ibn Abi Talib

Ali ibn Abi Talib was of the house of Muhammad—peace be upon him. Ali was the first Muslim to convert after the Prophet was said to have been visited by the angel that brought God’s words to Muhammad. Those words were the Qur’an (the recitation). Fatima bint Muhammad—peace be upon her—was the daughter of Muhammad.

Ali and Fatima were two of the earliest Muslims. So the mystical fibre of Islam is root-deep.

2. Who is Allah?
Allah has the same roots as the Aramaic “El” and the Hebrew Elah. Allah literally means “The God.” “al” means ‘the,” and “elah” (or some variation of it) means “god.” God does not have a gender in Islam, though is referred to as “He” out of respect.

Yeah, I know, kinda messed up, but at least Muslims don’t actually think God is some guy sitting in the clouds. It is considered a grave violation and failing to give attributes to Allah, because as with anything, defining Him/It limits It/Him.

3. Islam and Peace
The Arabic words “Islam” (for the religion) and “salaam” (peace) are from the same Semitic roots; S-L-M. The word Islam means submission, and is taken to mean submission to God (similar perhaps to the expression “God-fearing”). It could as easily mean peace, purity, safety.

In common understanding, to be Muslim means to have surrendered your will to God; to have submitted one’s will to the grace of Allah.

4. Jihad
The word jihad has come to be synonymous with “holy war” in the American vernacular. It has been used by the Palestinian people to mean “uprising.”

Jihad actually means struggle.

“The best jihad is (by) the one who strives against his own self for Allah, The Mighty and Majestic,”
~ the Hadith (sayings of the Prophet Muhammad—peace be upon him).

5. Honoring Your Mother in Islam
There are many Hadiths (loosely; stories that offer the teachings of The Prophet) that beautifully address the role of the mother in Islam.

One such says: I said to the Holy Prophet, “O Messenger of Allah, I desire to go on a (military) expedition and I have come to consult you.” He asked me if I had a mother, and when I replied that I had, he said, “Stay with her because Paradise lies beneath her feet.”

Another says; I asked the Prophet who has the greatest right over a man, and he said, “His mother.”

One of my favorites goes like this: I asked, “Messenger of Allah, to whom should I be dutiful?” He replied, “Your mother.” I asked, “Then whom?” He replied, “Your mother.” I asked, “Then whom?” He replied, “Your mother.” I asked, “Then whom?” He replied, “Your mother.” I asked, “Then to whom should I be dutiful?” He replied, “Your father, and then the next closest relative and then the next.”

6. Marriage in Islam
While arranged marriage is still common in many Muslim cultures, any woman has the right to refuse a marriage match. And, while polygamy is considered lawful in Islam, a polygamous marriage may only occur where both (or all) women are in accord with the choice to be co-wives.

Divorce is legal in Islam, and a woman is guaranteed a divorce settlement even before marriage. Additionally, in marriage a man’s property becomes communal property by law, but a woman’s property remains in her own claim.

7. Sex in Islam
“Permitted to you on the night of the Fasts is the approach to your wives. They are your garments and you are their garments.”
(Qur’an, 2:187)

Obviously, Islam has a long way to go in regards to creating a healthy relationship with sex. (Still, don’t we all?)

Yes, it’s a homophobic religion, and one with strict regulation of sexuality beyond even that.

However, when sex happens within the container of the laws of Islam, i.e.; between a lawfully wedded woman and man, Islam (on the whole) has fewer sex-negative or sex phobic views than you would think.

Contraception is allowed, as is first-trimester abortion. In addition, sex has many extra-procreative purposes in Islamic faith, including deepening companionship between husband and wife.

“The Prophet himself, while not divulging all aspects of his own sexual life, was known for his nature as a loving husband who was sensitive and physically demonstrative. In several hadith, he speaks about the importance of foreplay and speaking in loving terms during sexual relations. Again, the concept of mutual satisfaction is elucidated in a hadith which advises husbands to engage in acts that enable a woman to achieve orgasm first. …Sexual dissatisfaction is considered legitimate grounds for divorce on the part of either wife or husband.”
- Source.

There’s even the suggestion that sexual intimacy between man and wife is a gift of worship, and something a Muslim will be rewarded for by Allah.

Female circumcision is not an Islamic practice, but an African tribal one, that predates the introduction of Islam to the areas that practice female circumcision (aka FGM, or female genital mutilation). The vast majority of Islamic countries and cultures do not practice female circumcision at all.

In honor of Ramadan, the most holy month in Islam, I hope we can all take a moment to honor the diversity of faiths that hold the world together, as much as they might tear it apart.

Clinging to anything causes suffering, and there is no exception to the rule here. But while we share the air, we share breath. Let’s be inspired by each other. And allow the outer jihad to give way to the greater jihad; the jihad of one’s own soul.

My latest at Elephant Journal, The New Anti-Muslim Wave, Eid al Fitr, and 9/11 – What Will YOU Do?

My latest at Elephant Journal, The New Anti-Muslim Wave, Eid al Fitr, and 9/11 – What Will YOU Do?

“Four news stories from the CURRENT wave:

UPDATE: Holley teens charged with targeting mosque

Racial slur and profanity spray-painted on mosque

Abdus Miah, a member of the mosque, is also a city Alderman.

“I thought… maybe somebody hates us.  I was thinking that way.  Or something like that.  I don’t know.  We never faced any kind of problem after 9-11.  This is the first time,” said Miah.

Opponents of the Murfreesboro mosque say it’s not about religion. Their Muslim neighbors aren’t buying it.

An excavating crew broke ground on the site Aug. 20, 12 days after the Rutherford County Planning Commission provided final clearance. Pre-construction here has already begun — or at least it had, before an arsonist (or -ists) doused four excavators in accelerant and lit one on fire on Aug. 28.

Muslims in America increasingly alienated as hatred grows in Bible belt

On the anniversary of 9/11, Chris McGreal reports from the Tennessee town where Muslims have lived in harmony with Christians for decades – but where they now feel under threat.”

Read the rest at elephant.

9/11 Happened to Us All

First Writing Since
(Poem on Crisis of Terror)

by Suheir Hammad
New York, New York

Suheir Hammad is the author of “Born Palestinian, Born Black” (Harlem River Press, 1996, $12.00, ISBN 0-863-16244-4) and other books.

1. there have been no words.
i have not written one word.
no poetry in the ashes south of canal street.
no prose in the refrigerated trucks driving debris and dna.
not one word.

today is a week, and seven is of heavens, gods, science.
evident out my kitchen window is an abstract reality.
sky where once was steel.
smoke where once was flesh.

fire in the city air and i feared for my sister’s life in a way never
before. and then, and now, i fear for the rest of us.

first, please god, let it be a mistake, the pilot’s heart failed, the
plane’s engine died.
then please god, let it be a nightmare, wake me now.
please god, after the second plane, please, don’t let it be anyone
who looks like my brothers.

i do not know how bad a life has to break in order to kill.
i have never been so hungry that i willed hunger
i have never been so angry as to want to control a gun over a pen.
not really.
even as a woman, as a palestinian, as a broken human being.
never this broken.

more than ever, i believe there is no difference.
the most privileged nation, most americans do not know the difference
between indians, afghanis, syrians, muslims, sikhs, hindus.
more than ever, there is no difference.

2. thank you korea for kimchi and bibim bob, and corn tea and the
genteel smiles of the wait staff at wonjo the smiles never revealing
the heat of the food or how tired they must be working long midtown
shifts. thank you korea, for the belly craving that brought me into
the city late the night before and diverted my daily train ride into
the world trade center.

there are plenty of thank yous in ny right now. thank you for my
lazy procrastinating late ass. thank you to the germs that had me
call in sick. thank you, my attitude, you had me fired the week
before. thank you for the train that never came, the rude nyer who
stole my cab going downtown. thank you for the sense my mama gave me
to run. thank you for my legs, my eyes, my life.

3. the dead are called lost and their families hold up shaky
printouts in front of us through screens smoked up.

we are looking for iris, mother of three. please call with any
information. we are searching for priti, last seen on the 103rd
floor. she was talking to her husband on the phone and the line
went. please help us find george, also known as a! ! del. his family is
waiting for him with his favorite meal. i am looking for my son, who
was delivering coffee. i am looking for my sister girl, she started
her job on monday.

i am looking for peace. i am looking for mercy. i am looking for
evidence of compassion. any evidence of life. i am looking for
life.

4. ricardo on the radio said in his accent thick as yuca, “i will
feel so much better when the first bombs drop over there. and my
friends feel the same way.”

on my block, a woman was crying in a car parked and stranded in hurt.
i offered comfort, extended a hand she did not see before she said,
“we”re gonna burn them so bad, i swear, so bad.” my hand went to my
head and my head went to the numbers within it of the dead iraqi
children, the dead in nicaragua. the dead in rwanda who had to vie
with fake sport wrestling for america’s attention.

yet when people sent emails saying, this was bound to happen, lets
! ! not forget u.s. transgressions, for half a second i felt resentful.
hold up with that, cause i live here, these are my friends and fam,
and it could have been me in those buildings, and we”re not bad
people, do not support america’s bullying. can i just have a half
second to feel bad?

if i can find through this exhaust people who were left behind to
mourn and to resist mass murder, i might be alright.

thank you to the woman who saw me brinking my cool and blinking back
tears. she opened her arms before she asked “do you want a hug?” a
big white woman, and her embrace was the kind only people with the
warmth of flesh can offer. i wasn’t about to say no to any comfort.
“my brother’s in the navy,” i said. “and we”re arabs”. “wow, you
got double trouble.” word.

5. one more person ask me if i knew the hijackers.
one more motherfucker ask me what navy my brother is in.
one more person assume no arabs or muslims were killed.one more person
assume they know me, or that i represent a people.
or that a people represent an evil. or that evil is as simple as a
flag and words on a page.

we did not vilify all white men when mcveigh bombed oklahoma.
america did not give out his family’s addresses or where he went to
church. or blame the bible or pat robertson.

and when the networks air footage of palestinians dancing in the
street, there is no apology that hungry children are bribed with
sweets that turn their teeth brown. that correspondents edit images.
that archives are there to facilitate lazy and inaccurate
journalism.

and when we talk about holy books and hooded men and death, why do we
never mention the kkk?

if there are any people on earth who understand how new york is
feeling right now, they are in the west bank and the gaza strip.

6. today it is ten days. last night bush waged war on a man once
openly funded by the
cia. i do not know who is responsible. read too many books, know
too many people to believe what i am told. i don’t give a fuck about
bin laden. his vision of the world does not include me or those i
love. and petittions have been going around for years trying to get
the u.s. sponsored taliban out of power. shit is complicated, and i
don’t know what to think.

but i know for sure who will pay.

in the world, it will be women, mostly colored and poor. women will
have to bury children, and support themselves through grief. “either
you are with us, or with the terrorists” – meaning keep your people
under control and your resistance censored. meaning we got the loot
and the nukes.

in america, it will be those amongst us who refuse blanket attacks on
the shivering. those of us who work toward social justice, in
support of civil liberties, in opposition to hateful foreign
policies.

i have never felt less american and more new yorker, particularly
brooklyn, than these past days. the stars and stripes on all these
cars and apartment windows represent the dead as citizens first, not
family members, not lovers.

i feel like my skin is real thin, and that my eyes are only going to
get darker. the future holds little light.

my baby brother is a man now, and on alert, and praying five times a
day that the orders he will take in a few days time are righteous and
will not weigh his soul down from the afterlife he deserves.

both my brothers – my heart stops when i try to pray – not a beat to
disturb my fear. one a rock god, the other a sergeant, and both
palestinian, practicing muslim, gentle men. both born in brooklyn
and their faces are of the archetypal arab man, all eyelashes and
nose and beautiful color and stubborn hair.

what will their lives be like now?

over there is over here.

7. all day, across the river, the smell of burning rubber and limbs
floats through. the sirens have stopped now. the advertisers are
back on the air. the rescue workers are traumatized. the skyline is
brought back to human size. no longer taunting the gods with its
height.

i have not cried at all while writing this. i cried when i saw those
buildings collapse on themselves like a broken heart. i have never
owned pain that needs to spread like that. and i cry daily that my
brothers return to our mother safe and whole.

there is no poetry in this. there are causes and effects. there are
symbols and ideologies. mad conspiracy here, and information we will
never know. there is death here, and there are promises of more.

there is life here. anyone reading this is breathing, maybe hurting,
but breathing for sure. and if there is any light to come, it will
shine from the eyes of those who look for peace and justice after the
rubble and rhetoric are cleared and the phoenix has risen.

affirm life.
affirm life.
we got to carry each other now.
you are either with life, or against it.
affirm life.

Published in In Motion Magazine November 7, 2001.

“The fall of the petal, somewhere a crash…”
Pattern Recognition, William Gibson

“Cayce herself had been in SoHo that morning, at the time of the impact of the first plane, and had witnessed a micro-event that seemed in retrospect to have announced, however privately and secretly, that the world itself had taken a duck in the face.

She had watched a single petal fall, from a dead rose, in the tiny display window of an eccentric Spring Street dealer in antiques.

…Staring rather blankly and contentedly…

…She had just heard a plane, incredibly loud and, she’d assumed, low. She thought she’d glimpsed something, over West Broadway, but then it had been gone. They must be making a film.

The dead roses, arranged in an off-white Fiestaware vase, appeared to have been there for several months. They would have been white, when fresh, but now looked like parchment. This was a mysterious window, with a black-painted plywood backdrop revealing nothing of the establishment behind it. She had never been in to see what else was in there, but the objects in the window seemed to change in accordance with some peculiar poetry of their own, and she was in the habit, usually, of pausing to look, when she passed this way.

The fall of the petal, somewhere a crash, taken perhaps as some impact of large trucks, one of those unexplained events of lower Manhattan. Leaving her sole witness to this minute fall.”

Eid Mubarak (Happy Festival) to All My Muslim Brothers and Sisters!

For my NON-Muslim brothers and sisters, here’s an article I wrote recently: Seven Things That You Probably Didn’t Know About Islam, and another, The New Anti-Muslim Wave, Eid al Fitr, and 9/11 – What Will YOU Do?

A Translation of the Islamic Adhan, or Call to Prayer

Ashhadu an la ilaha illa Allah
I bear witness that there is no god except The God.

Ashhadu an la ilaha illa Allah
I bear witness that there is no god except The God.

Ashadu anna Muhammadan Rasool Allah
I bear witness that Muhammad is the messenger of God.

Ashadu anna Muhammadan Rasool Allah
I bear witness that Muhammad is the messenger of God.

Hayya ‘ala-s-Salah
Hasten to prayer.

Hayya ‘ala-s-Salah
Hasten to prayer.

Hayya ‘ala-l-Falah
Hasten to Success.

Hayya ‘ala-l-Falah
Hasten to Success.

Allahu Akbar
God is Great.

Allahu Akbar
God is Great.

La ilaha illa Allah
There is no god except God.

My Latest at Elephant Journal – 7 Things You Probably Didn’t Know About Islam, In Honor of Ramadan

My latest at elephant journal: 7 Things You Probably Didn’t Know About Islam, In Honor of Ramadan.

In honor of Ramadan, the most holy month in Islam, I hope we can all take a moment to honor the diversity of faiths that hold the world together, as much as they might tear it apart.”

Islamic and Sufi Mystical, Metaphysical, and Religious Quotes

In honor of Ramadan, 2010

In the name of Allah, most beneficent, most merciful.

“The foremost in religion is the acknowledgement of Him,
the perfection of acknowledging Him is to testify Him,
the perfection of testifying Him is to believe in His Oneness,
the perfection of believing in His Oneness is to regard Him Pure,
and the perfection of His purity is to deny Him attributes,
because every attribute is a proof that it is different from that to which it is attributed and everything to which something is attributed is different from the attribute.

Thus whoever attaches attributes to [God] recognizes His like,
and who recognizes His like regards Him two;
and who regards Him two recognizes parts for Him;
and who recognizes parts for Him mistook Him;
and who mistook Him pointed at Him;
and who pointed at Him admitted limitations for Him;
and who admitted limitations for Him numbered Him.

Whoever said in what is He, held that He is contained;
and whoever said on what is He held He is not on something else.
He is a Being, but not through phenomenon of coming into being.
He exists, but not from non-existence.
He is with everything but not in physical nearness.
He is different from everything but not in physical separation.
He acts but without connotation of movements and instruments.
He sees even when there is none to be looked at from among His creation.
He is only One, such that there is none with whom He may keep company or whom He may miss in his absence.”
- The Oneness of God, according to ‘Ali ibn Abi Talib (of the House of the Prophet, peace be upon his soul.)

“I testify that there is no Deity [Lord] except the sole and matchless Allah [God]. And the testification of the singleness of Allah is a word that Allah has declared sincerity (as) its reality, and made the hearts the centre of its contact and union. And has made the specifications and research of the oneness of Allah’s station obvious and evident in the light of meditation. The Allah Who can not be seen by the eyes and tongues are unable and baffled to describe His virtues and attributes. And the intelligence and apprehension of man is helpless and destitute from the imagination of his how ness.”
- Fatima bint Muhammad (Peace be upon her soul.)

“In this journey the seeker reacheth a stage wherein he seeth all created things wandering distracted in search of the Friend. How many a Jacob will he see, hunting after his Joseph; he will behold many a lover, hasting to seek the Beloved, he will witness a world of desiring ones searching after the One Desired. At every moment he findeth a weighty matter, in every hour he becometh aware of a mystery; for he hath taken his heart away from both worlds, and set out for the Ka’bih of the Beloved. At every step, aid from the Invisible Realm will attend him and the heat of his search will grow.
One must judge of search by the standard of the Majnun of Love.* It is related that one day they came upon Majnun sifting the dust, and his tears flowing down. They said, “What doest thou?” He said, “I seek for Layli.” They cried, “Alas for thee! Layli is of pure spirit, and thou seekest her in the dust!” He said, “I seek her everywhere; haply somewhere I shall find her.”
Yea, although to the wise it be shameful to seek the Lord of Lords in the dust, yet this betokeneth intense ardor in searching. “Whoso seeketh out a thing with zeal shall find it.”

(Editor’s note: Literally, Majnun means insane. This is the title of the most celebrated lover of ancient Persian and Arabian lore, whose name was Qays ibn al-Mulawwah. The beloved of Qays was Layli, daughter of an Arabian prince. When Qays was denied Layli’s hand in marriage, he was driven mad by his devotion. Symbolizing true human love bordering on the divine, the story of Layli (or Layla) and Majnun has been made the theme of many a Persian romantic poem, particularly that of Nizami, written in 1188-1189 A.D.)

- Excerpted from The Seven Valleys, by Baha’u'llah.

“O My Brother! A pure heart is as a mirror; cleanse it with the burnish of love and severance from all save God, that the true sun may shine within it and the eternal morning dawn. Then wilt thou clearly see the meaning of “Neither doth My earth nor My heaven contain Me, but the heart of My faithful servant containeth Me.” And thou wilt take up thy life in thine hand, and with infinite longing cast it before the new Beloved One.”

- Excerpted from The Seven Valleys, by Baha’u'llah.

“My heart has become capable of every form; it is a pasture for gazelles and a convent for Christian monks, and a temple for idols and the pilgrim’s Ka’ba, and the tablets of the Torah and the book of the Koran. I follow the religion of Love: whatever way Love’s camels take, that is my religion and my faith.”
- Ibn al-Arabi

Love is a veil betwixt the lover and the loved one;
More than this I am not permitted to tell.
- Jalal-ud-Din Rumi

In Honor of Ramadan

Reposted from Ramadan, 2007

Another part of my journey in Islam

Credit: http://arabiccalligraphy4u.blogspot.com/2009/04/zahra-and-mohammed.html

Ramadan kareem!

Yes, I am observing the fast of Ramadan. I never could have foreseen this, but I don’t know why. It makes perfect sense. Beginning after my first trip to the Holy Land, I started studying Islam. My most recent trip ended just as Ramadan began. My first day home was the first day of Ramadan.

While in Bethlehem, the excitement level was rising. I was invited by many to extend my trip and to spend Ramadan in their homes. (Yeah, the whole month. I have never met with such utter hospitality.) I couldn’t, though if I had been able to I certainly would have. Leaving was difficult as it was, and I would have loved to have spent this holy time in a Muslim community.

Instead, I came home, and have taken Ramadan by myself. I am studying deep into Islam, and have found many elements that speak directly to my heart. The spiritual side of Islam appeals to me more than any other religion I have studied. (Notice I didn’t say spiritual path, I specifically said religion.) The spiritual aspect is Mysticism. Direct relationship with God, no mediation, the awareness that God is both imminent and transcendent.

The law and politics side is more sticky, tricky, trigger-happy for me.

And for both these things I am exceedingly grateful. The part that makes sense with no need for translation. The part that is my home already, is my heart, my love, my life, my surrender, my path. The part where God is, and i am.

And, the part that is so alien that I can’t look directly at it without engaging in separation.

How does all of it “make perfect sense?” I could not have thought of a better way to pull “my self” outside of myself; outside of the known, outside of the assumed, outside of the easy, the comfortable, the illusory. Sometimes it’s too easy to fall into ease, and not even realize that Truth Eternal has been sacrificed in the offing.

Ego rebuilds itself moment to moment, assuming new shapes to hold, contain, divide, define itself by. Even the idea of enlightenment can stand in the way of our relationship with It.

Circle of Women, Tomb of the Patriarch, Al-Khalil/Hebron

Circle of Women, Tomb of the Patriarch, Al-Khalil/Hebron

So, the perfection lies in being stretched beyond my own edges in a way that I ask for again and again. Through the frame of Islam, I can see God unchanged, unchanging. The way I have come to know It. I can also see where my ego is attached to the way I encounter God, approach God, conceive of God.

One of the big jokes of it all (and there are many, many Big Jokes for me in the terrain of my dissembling soul), is that God cannot be approached. God is. Eternal. Everywhere present, but in no one place localized. Beyond our comprehension. So, even on the mental level, God cannot be approached.

As a Mystic, I can say that all paths to the Divine are equal, while knowing that “path” is a misnomer, and “to the” a misleading statement. Even naming It,  whether “Divine” or “God” is a veil.

“love is a veil between lover and loved
more than this I am not allowed to say.”
Jalal-ud-Din Rumi

Even the idea of love is separation. In claiming a beloved, earthly or divine, we put ourselves into separation. Through this separation we have the chance to seek reunion.

Just as delineation limits by virtue of fixing “some thing” in place, love and aversion limit by placing things outside of ourselves, which creates something outside of The Other, as well. There is a sense of “the thing I am”, or “the thing I am not.” Both reinforce division.

But where better to see my assumed flaws, faults, assumed strengths? Where better to see my attachments?

In this, the healing of the world.

As my sense of self lies shattered into pieces on the ground around me, I laugh, and I cry. Some shards melt into the earth and become cells of the ageless soil. Some wisps of vapor, becoming the unchanging air. Some become sparks of light and join with the unwavering light of the sun.

And even beyond the joining with the geological and universal, each element in its time fades and joins the eternal, returning to the first home, the last home, the home that is now, and always will be; the heart of The One.

In the midst of the agonies and the ecstasies of mergence, emergence, mergence…I come back to the moments of peace where there is no separation.

What if “that I am,” were true of everything. What if inside and outside were an illusion? What if there were no line between work and life. Relationships with people and with God. Spiritual path and life, just as it is.

Cessation. At the heart of it all is surrender. The moment where lover and beloved are not two, but one. Nay, are none.

Ma salaam,

-LaSara (Fatima ‘Abd-Rahim)

“The foremost in religion is the acknowledgement of Him, the perfection of acknowledging Him is to testify Him, the perfection of testifying Him is to believe in His Oneness, the perfection of believing in His Oneness is to regard Him Pure, and the perfection of His purity is to deny Him attributes, because every attribute is a proof that it is different from that to which it is attributed and everything to which something is attributed is different from the attribute. Thus whoever attaches attributes to Allah recognises His like, and who recognises His like regards Him two; and who regards Him two recognises parts for Him; and who recognises parts for Him mistook Him; and who mistook Him pointed at Him; and who pointed at Him admitted limitations for Him; and who admitted limitations for Him numbered Him.
Whoever said in what is He, held that He is contained; and whoever said on what is He held He is not on something else. He is a Being but not through phenomenon of coming into being. He exists but not from non-existence. He is with everything but not in physical nearness. He is different from everything but not in physical separation. He acts but without connotation of movements and instruments. He sees even when there is none to be looked at from among His creation. He is only One, such that there is none with whom He may keep company or whom He may miss in his absence.”
-The oneness of god, according to Ali ibn Abi Talib

“I testify that there is no Deity (Lord) except the sole and matchless Allah. And the testification of the singleness of Allah is a word that Allah has declared sincerity (as) its reality, and made the hearts the centre of its contact and union. And has made the specifications and research of the oneness of Allah’s station obvious and evident in the light of meditation. The Allah Who can not be seen by the eyes and tongues are unable and baffled to describe His virtues and attributes. And the intelligence and apprehension of man is helpless and destitute from the imagination of his how ness.”
-Fatima bint Muhammad

Sexy Witch Classes and Groups with Lasára

lasara and black madonnaFrom time to time Lasara offers small working groups based on Sexy Witch. These groups are conducted through teleclass and/or “webinar” formats, plus a private e-group.

“LaSara Firefox is a genius! You couldn’t ask for a better guide to take you on this emboldening adventure. and engaging whether or not you consider yourself a witch, Sexy Witch is a fabulous book full of serious fun.”
-Ariel Gore, author of Bluebird: Women and the New Psychology of Happiness.

These groups are generally promoted by word of mouth only, with no public advertising. But if you’re interested in being in the loop regarding upcoming series, you can sign up for the Workshops with Lasara Firefox Allen newsletter. This list will be used ONLY to let you know about upcoming opportunities to work (and play!) with Lasara.

Groups may be fe/male/tg inclusive, or for female-bodied participants only. Each course will specify.

Lasara is also available to offer private group or solo sessions.

“I worked through Sexy Witch with Lasara and a small group of women in 2008, and am so happy I did! The work I did, and we did together still reverberates in my life years later. My relationship with my body and my partner is richer and clearer, and I feel much more certain about my communication with my kids about what love and beauty is in the world. Lasara’s book is more than an educational read, it’s an experience offered to know yourself on very deep levels. To work through this material with Lasara herself is an experience not to be missed.”
-Durga Fuller, TheCookAwakening.com

About Sexy Witch:

This witty and smart, well-researched gem of a book has the power to transform the feminist movement at the radical roots – womens bodies and their sexuality. For any woman who wants to understand, enhance, reclaim or heal her sexuality, this book is a must. It will serve to liberate your sisters as well as the men and women who love them.
-Anodea Judith, Ph.D., author of Wheels of Life and Eastern Body, Western Mind.

This is one empowering book! While it may seem this book is for women only, as a man I found it informative and very practical. Some of the contents are specifically for women, including exercises that are guaranteed to both shock and delight readers. A quick look into the library of LaSara Firefox reveals that this is her first full blown book. I will definitely be looking out for more from this author. Sexy Witch is one of the most daring, revealing, and inspiring books I have ever read. The fact that a book like this can be published proves that free speech is still a reality! Although the book does have some roughness, I give it 5 stars for what a special and unique accomplishment it is. I doubt there is any book in existence that pushes the envelope like this one. I found myself laughing out loud, and crying at some of the startling historical information. A copy of Sexy Witch on your coffee table is guaranteed to strike up some interesting conversations with your guests. Based on its contents and graphic exercises I would not be surprised to see this book banned. Sexy Witch has the potential to empower anyone who reads it. I especially like the “media fast” exercise. We all need to do this one, for our health and sanity.
-R.M.

More about Sexy Witch here.

Get in touch with Lasara via facebook.

Subscribe to the [Workshops with Lasara Firefox Allen] newsletter.

“Lasára’s insightful work with Sexy Witch will stimulate you to question the reality within which you have chosen to live. In accepting her invitation to the path of transformation you can discover a rich reality which exists within.”
-Liesl

The Lost Art of Masculinity – My Latest at Elephant Journal

Read my latest at elephantjournal.com. Link at bottom of excerpt:

The Lost Art of Masculinity

In the heart of the divorce boom (starting in the ‘60s, peaking in the ‘70s) a generation of women ended up parenting (mostly) solo, and a generation of boys ended up being raised (mostly) without a positive father figure, if they had one at all.

Maybe it was partially a reaction to “women’s lib” that lead men to feel less-than-needed. And maybe it was the grey flannel rebellion, personified by the whining tone of the dissatisfaction of the Playboy Men of the ‘50s, that lead women to feel fed up enough to stand up and say “To hell with this!”

How far back this winding battle for self-actualization as war-of-the-sexes goes is a question that can’t be answered. But irrefutably, while entirely necessary, the attempt towards some leveling of the playing field has resulted in some serious casualties.

In the absence of a paternal figure, an inadvertent, angry, faux matriarchy emerged; one that was bound by the confines of the walls of the home, because outside of the home all the old rules still applied.

But in the home, woman ruled. Boys (and girls) grew up with women, angry women, women who were (righteously) angry at men, as the alpha and omega of their young lives. The mother became the sole ruler of the world that is childhood.

A generation of men really did fuck up. They left, fucked around, used women and dumped them. Fathers bailed, leaving an abscess as often as an absence.

And the absence of men, of good men, of real men, of responsible men, left a nasty taste not only in the mouths of overwhelmed mothers, but of boys raised in a world of righteously angry women.

This group of boys would grow into men. Men who still had a bad taste in their mouths. A bad taste about men. Which is hard to live with; especially if you’re a man.

For these reasons and more, a generation (or three) of sensitive and careful men have had to struggle to reclaim their man-parts. And the women of that same generation have had to cultivate the ability to trust men who, themselves, don’t trust men.

READ THE REST AT ELEPHANT JOURNAL…

Tonglen Meditation as Self-Healing

Tonglen meditation is a simple practice of transmutation. It’s the process of breathing in “dirty” energy, thoughts, or feelings, and releasing them with compassionate non-attachment as pure light.

As opposed to the idea of breathing peace and calm into the body and mind, in tonglen we breathe in pain and suffering (dukkha) and transform it into peacefulness through non-attachment.

Tonglen is a world-healing practice. But when applied to the self, tonglen can have nothing short of miraculous healing effects.

When in pain, this form of meditation may seem like a counter-intuitive process. To breathe in your pain may feel like the last thing you want to do. Instead of breathing in that pain or suffering, it may feel more natural to push it away, stifle it, ignore it, or resist it.

But resistance is attachment, and the more resistance grows, the more the suffering you’re trying to avoid does too.

As a method of self-healing, over time the practice of tonglen can become an – if not the – automatic response to stress, anger, a bad mood, or general funk.

In Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) there’s a tool called anchoring. An anchor is a link that is created either causally (naturally, or out of habit) or intentionally between an object and a state of emotion or consciousness, or between one state and another state.

Conscious, intentional anchoring can create the induction of a more positive state from a negative one, or it can be used as a way to remind you of tools that can help to transform that negative state.

In the context of application of tonglen as a self-healing practice, any negative emotion can be an anchor that will remind you to use breath to transform difficult emotions into pure compassionate release.

How To:
1. Notice your suffering. Allow this to be a reminder that you can release that suffering through practice.
2. Still or center yourself for a moment. With a breath or two, find a calm place in your experience of the moment.
3. Notice the negative energy (dukkha) as a cloud around your physical body.
4. With your breath, draw that cloud of suffering into your body.
5. Holding your breath in your chest for a moment, center yourself in non-attachment, and allow the suffering to transform into peace.
6. Release your breath as an exhalation of peace and clarity.
7. Repeat for as long as needed to clear your suffering.
Any practice of tonglen meditation is healing the whole. In the healing of the suffering of self is the healing of the world.

There is no self, and there is no other. As one of the innumerable sentient beings pervading time and space, the work you do to free yourself form your own attachment is work toward the liberation of all.

As you clear the skandas, aggregates, becloudings, the veils of illusion in your own life, the healing you create in your heart is truly the transmutation of the suffering of all beings.

I Love You – A Daily Practice

As you move through your life today, think “I love you” to everything and everyone, ALL THE TIME! Or at least whenever you remember to. Most importantly, think “I LOVE YOU!” when you are feeling sad, angry, separate from another, or from source, or alone. Don’t forget that YOU are someone; think “I love you” to yourself, too!

Untitled (vortex i)

I come awake at night these days
My man sprawled sweetly next to me
Rhythmic breathing
almost lulling me
But in the quiet of night
there’s something puling me
Awake, awake

I come awake at night
the cars rush by my country home
Rhythmic roaring
nearly pulling me
In this rush of night
there’s something lulling me
Awake, awake

Virginia said
a woman should have a room of one’s own
This night is my room
Fingers dance
Pulling me
this quiet trance
Awake, awake

18 Rules for Living

Often referred to as “Dalai Lama’s 18 rules for living”, this piece of writing does not actually originate with the Dalai Lama. Regardless, it’s a great piece of writing, with many important reminders. I needed some of them badly today, and thought you might, too. Enjoy. I hope this list provides some sweet upliftment for you.

  1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
  2. When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.
  3. Follow the three Rs:
    1. Respect for self
    2. Respect for others
    3. Responsibility for all your actions.
  4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
  5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
  6. Don’t let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
  7. When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
  8. Spend some time alone every day.
  9. Open your arms to change, but don’t let go of your values.
  10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
  11. Live a good, honourable life. Then when you get older and think back, you’ll be able to enjoy it a second time.
  12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.
  13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don’t bring up the past.
  14. Share your knowledge. It’s a way to achieve immortality.
  15. Be gentle with the earth.
  16. Once a year, go someplace you’ve never been before.
  17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
  18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

A Poem for Palestine

August, 2007

here,
in this place of unyielding hardship
the soil trembles
with subtle urgency
without moving

bodies quiver
electricity dancing on the surface of
straining skin

restraint
oppression
desire
fear
all held
in abeyance -
a sacred secret
voiced in harsh-edged whispers
in the dark of night
and lost to forgiving winds

here,
trees bend low
branches heavy hanging
with over-ripe fruit
no way to pick the figs
beyond the shadow of the wall

still,
roses grow
dawn kisses sweet-smelling earth
with blushing lips
breathes new life
into tired lungs

here,
figs drop
full of burgeoning seed
fecund and bursting
to visit a sticky dampness
on the waiting ground

life will not be held back
even in the darkest hour
the promise crowns
cock crows

new life is given spark
in darkest nights
we cower
sweating sweetly
under threat
of imminent annihilation

still
the oppressed pray
create life
touch with gentleness
cry with pain

still , we bleed
still, we laugh
still, we heal

and dawn
gives herself again
to this new beginning
no conditions
on this precious start

daily we are born
daily we die
this moment
a finite prayer
on the infinite lips of time
of timelessness

not fixed
but fluid -
death
gives way to life
life to death
this eternal dance
of
love, and loss, blood, birth, laughter, tears

the call to prayer echoes
from ancient hills -
sentinels
guarding deep secrets
the ones that reveal themselves
only in dream

and the call is answered
as it always has been
always will be

each of us
answering
in our own private language

lips forming the sweetest words -
hidden, secret words
that only God
will ever hear.

The Wall — Palestine, 2007

The wall coming towards Beit Jala.

Beit Jala, The West Bank, Palestine, 2007

(Author note: This is an opinion piece. I am posting it in response to a lack of awareness around the Middle East Peace talks, 2010. I respectfully request that you click through the links included in this article before commenting. The links offer a background story that may allow you to understand the heart of this article more easily.)

Imagine you are sitting in your home. Imagine that when you look out the window, you can see a wall growing closer and closer, day by day, straight toward the walls of your home. You know that the larger wall will not correct its course. You know that soon, very soon, your walls will be gone, leaving only the larger wall standing.

I sit on a terrace that was probably built centuries before Columbus set sail…and am spitting distance from the wall, grey and shocking, monstrous, prison-like, stark and hard-edged. I am so close, in fact, that I can hear the machinery working tirelessly beneath in the large shadow – you have to be able to imagine this wall to understand. It’s built like a prison wall – about twenty feet straight up, and then another 20 at a slant, built to keep the prisoners…uh, I mean terrorists…in.

From what is to be known as the Israeli side of this “fence,” (on illegally seized land), you could perhaps scale the fence, with the right high-tech climbing gear. If you were to stand beneath it on the occupied, aka Palestinian, side of the fence, it would tower over you, insurmountable and oppressive.

I sit on the edge of Beit Jala, just east of Walaja, outside Bethlehem. The wall is heading straight into the heart of Walaja. There is no clear path. Houses have fallen before the blade of the dozer, and will continue to fall.

Right now I can hear the “screeeee” of earth and stone being torn by machines. If I were to stand, I would see, beyond the wall, on the occupied side, carcasses of olive trees, still drying in the late-summer sun. The leaves are not yet brown, death is so fresh.

According to the Qur’an, to kill a tree is forbidden even as an act of war. Yet the trees come down, the houses come down. Families are separated by tons of concrete. Lives fall to the way-side.

I cannot even hold the reality of it. I sit and there is nothing but “us” and “them”. It is impossible for me not to take on the grief, the anger,
the frustration.

Being a “landed” person, I tell myself that I would die to protect my family home if it came down to it. And even at that, I know I would not. Life is more precious, freedom more precious. What freedom there is.

To my immediate left is the settlement of Gilo. It stands, stately and rigid, on the highest peak between Jerusalem and Bethlehem. You can see it from everywhere. It, like all the settlements, stands as a brick and stone taunt to the (lack of a) Palestinian nation.

Where is the justice? Where the justification? How can anyone look at this wall, these settlements, and think these are okay, much less a good idea?

Fighting a “war” against “terror” is inhumane. Who are the terrorists? Walling a nation is ghettoization. The wall is breeding terror, and those who live in terror may choose to die by it. This wall is terrorism. These settlements are terror impersonated.

Imagine you are a young woman or man who has no citizenship, no country, no right to travel, no right to own land, no work prospects within the land of your birth, no easy way to leave. Imagine you are an old woman or man who has lived for the past sixty years in a camp run by the UN. Imagine the complex emotions that pull you between wanting your children to find a way out, and knowing that if they do get out you may never see them again.

Imagine you are a young person with nothing to lose but life itself. Imagine you are a young person with nothing to gain but paradise. What is terror? What is terrorism?

My third night in Bethlehem, Israeli soldiers came illegally into the center of town. Young boys picked plastic bottles from the trash cans, and began throwing them at the cavalcade of army vehicles. Empty, plastic soda bottles. Not even rocks. The jeeps stopped, and the boys ran.

A simple game of cat and mouse. What else is there to do? How should these boys react? Even in “Area A,” which is supposed to be solidly in Palestinian control, the Israeli soldiers make their presence known at will.

What is terror? Who is the terrorist?

Palestinian people are arrested by the Israeli government everyday for nothing. People are afraid to walk the streets after dark, not because of crime (which seems to be virtually non-existent here), but because they are afraid of being harassed, picked up, arrested, beaten, killed…by Israeli soldiers.

I see the walls, internal and external, and I find myself asking, where is the third intifada? How else will the strangle-hold be overcome?

Really, the question is, where is the hope for peace? I have yet to find it. Without justice, no peace. Just walls. More, and more, and more walls.

Sixty Years of Temporary – Arroub Refugee Camp, Palestine

Entry to Arroub Camp (Al Arroub).

August, 2007

Yesterday I went to Al Arroub Camp. Remember, you take the bitter with the sweet…

In 1948 the Israeli occupation of Palestinian lands began. Palestinians were driven forcibly from the homes their forefathers had built, whole villages were emptied of the Arab population. Villages that had been built of the blood, sweat, tears, life and death of the Arab people were torn forcibly from them in six days that changed the political terrain of the Middle East for ever.

Throughout the land of Palestine, the villagers who were not killed were displaced.

Al Arroub was built by the UN in 1948. It is peopled with Palestinians who were run out of their villages. Many still hold keys to homes that no longer stand, or homes that now hold three generations of Israelis, while the same three generations of Palestinians live in homes of concrete…windows opening into other windows. No space for thought, no space for breath, no space to stretch…

When things are built to be temporary, and in a crisis situation, the process of planning is different. One could say short-sighted perhaps. Starting from here; sixty years ago the standard of living was different. And, the population was lower. Life will not be held back, and even in these dire conditions, people breed.

We breed as if our lives depend upon it…because, of course, they do. In times of crisis, where you never know which of your children will survive the terrors of war, which will survive the threat of arrest or assassination, which will survive the rigors of poverty living, which will decide to stay in the country of his birth and care for you in your old age…perhaps we breed more.

Add in the value that family holds in Middle Eastern culture, and especially Moslim culture, and yes, you have rapid population growth. Arroub camp is less than one square km (roughly 1/2 an acre), and is home to around 9000 refugee families. A third generation. The camp is moving into it’s 4th generation of habitation. The buildings grow up, slowly, as families can afford to add rooms, generation stacked on generation.

Across the road you can see the settlements grow out from centers, expanding like a crab grass, taking over as much land as possible.

Arroub Camp is in Area C, the area controlled by the Israeli government. According to the Oslo agreement, Area C was supposed to be in the control of the Palestinians by now. However, since the second intifada, all roads into, or out of, Arroub have been closed, except for one. And this one is guarded by Israeli soldiers. No one can come or go without the permission of the soldiers.

Many are unemployed, but most of those who have work are employed outside the camp in near-by Hebron (Al-Khalil), Bethlehem, or another municipality. Every day in the camp children, workers, students, were forced to recognize the authority of the very soldiers who’s families live in the homes the refugees families built centuries ago.

In the camp, children play in streets that run with dirty water. There are no parks, no playgrounds, there is no open space that is safe for the children to play in. Until this year, there were no schools in Arroub Camp. The children had to be bussed to the surrounding municipalities daily to attend school.

Inside the “popular office” – the office of the popular representative of the refugees who live in the camp, and serves as interface between the refugees and the UN – I’m sure there is a better English translation for this, but it’s how it was explained to me – there are murals. Each one has a story.

Keys Without Locks - each pad (leaf) of the cactus is a Palestnian city that has been lost.

Keys Without Locks - each pad (leaf) of the cactus is a Palestnian city that has been lost.

One is stark black and red, and has the names of the martyrs of the camp. (A word about martyrs, before reactivity sets in…martyrs may have been killed in a confrontation with the Israeli army, may have died in custody in Israeli prison, may have been killed defending one of the villages, may have been in the wrong place at the wrong time. I have yet to hear a story of a martyr who was a suicide bomber…perhaps I could use the word Hero instead, and sidestep the whole discussion…)

Another is a painting of doorways, keys, desert…and the names of all the villages that the refugees come from. Village names that have been erased from every map, from every street sign…but the names live on in memory. Only keys remain…keys that have no lock. Keys that remain a symbol of life stolen, promises broken, and sixty years of temporary.

Onto the sweet; what there is to be savored. An amazing women’s center has sprung up in Arroub that houses a day care and many programs that encourage womens’ independence; financial, cultural, personal, individual. There is a computer lab, and a craft room, as well as a day care and kindergarten on premise. There is a small playground in the back yard…a sand pit, really, with a few toys, but a place for the children to be outside and not directly on the street.

And the popular office is building a park, with a swimming pool, gardens.

The funds are a struggle, and the political situation with Hamas has strained things further. Many international funders are wary of putting finds into projects with things feeling as precarious as they are.

I hope to find funds to help the women’s center. And I have faith that as Abu Mohammed, the head of the popular center, believes, the park will be finished within the year.

Ensh’llah.

Apocalypse Now…and Now…and Now…and Now

The world is ending.

The world has always been ending.

For as long as humanity has had creation myths, we’ve also had destruction myths. Old wine in a new skin, enter the destruction myth du jour. The End Times as we know them; the Apocalypse.

“An Apocalypse (Greek; “lifting of the veil” or “revelation”) is a disclosure of something hidden from the majority … i.e. the veil to be lifted. The term also can refer to … Armageddon, and the idea of an end of the world. These perceptions may better be related to the phrase apokalupsis eschaton, literally “revelation at [or of] the end of the æon, or age”. …”

- Read more at Wikipedia

It has always been the end of the world.

Every common-era generation has faced the spectral apparition that is Armageddon. From fear of “barbarian hordes” descending, to the decimation of the plagues, to the promise/fear/death-drive of nuclear war, we’ve pretty much always been on the brink of annihilation.

As long as we’ve been living, we’ve been afraid of death.

The Metaphorical Importance of Eschatology – None of us get out alive

By no means confined to Christian ideology, eschatological elements are imbedded in religious and spiritual systems as diverse as New Age inter-religious amalgams, to traditional Hinduism.

In a cultural sense, the integration of eschatology is reflected in apocalyptic and post-apocalyptic fiction, science fiction, and fantasy.

“Eschatology … is a part of theology and philosophy concerned with what are believed to be the final events in history, or the ultimate destiny of humanity, commonly referred to as the end of the world. …  in many traditional religions it is taught as an actual future event prophesied in sacred texts or folklore…”

-Read more at Wikipedia

Life is a terminal disease, birth a death sentence. No one gets out alive.

And, no one knows what really happens after we die. The ideas range far and wide; from dispersing into nothingness, to battling demons and attachments in the Tibetan death bardo, to heaven or hell, to the simplicity of flesh rotting into the earth.

Heaven and hell reasoning leads one to live a life where death is feared and reviled, and/or gloriously awaited. Regardless of whether one thinks they will end up in heaven or hell, this life – the now of living – is relegated to secondary status. Probation with a deferred sentence.

Tibetan Buddhism holds reincarnation as a tenet. In Tibetan Buddhism, how you live affects your rebirth, but how you die has at least as much influence. Tibetan Buddhism focuses much of its spiritual teachings on how to die well.

Which is quite beautiful, really, if one believes in reincarnation, and can come to see death as a natural part of life, and therefore something to prepare for consciously while living.

But all the spiritual teaching in the world has not proven to remove all cultural or personal fear from the idea of death.

Apocalypse means unveiling, and what larger unveiling is there in this life than death? The true fear of the big “A” Apocalypse is the fear the demise of our own heart beating, blood pumping, synapse firing bodies.

Culture to culture, humanity is afraid of death. We are afraid of losing the “I” of existence, afraid of what might be waiting on the other side, afraid of disappearing into the vastness of that great night.

Eschatology as Ego Death

Just as apocalypse means the unveiling, eschatology can, in a spiritual sense, be seen as the end of seeking. In this mystical spiritual journey, the apocalypse is what is sought. The apocalypse is the Unveiling of the Beloved (aka God):

lift the veil
by Kabir, Sufi Mystic

lift the veil
that obscures
the heart

and there
you will find
what you are
looking for

More common terms for the concept would be ego death or self-annihilation.

Apocalypse in this case is something to seek for, something to embrace. This seeking, finding, and falling into is the opposite of any fear of dying, but it does not glorify death either, as apocalypse – the unveiling – can happen moment to moment.

Ego death and self-annihilation can have negative outcomes as well. Without the spiritual element to focus on, self-annihilation can easily become entwined with the death-drive, referred to as Thanatos in post-Freudian thought.

In this case, the drive for self-annihilation manifests in nihilistic ideals potentially leading to conscious, semi-conscious, or unconscious suicidal or life-threatening behaviors.

This is the negative outcome of the cultural obsession with eschatological and apocalyptic focus. And this focus is one of the foundational elements of religion and religious conditioning.

Though religious in origin, this foundation has become cultural as well, and our obsession with death is enshrined in the very fabric of human consciousness.

This is the eternal now, and the eternal now is the eternal apocalypse.

“…There is no “present” if we think of the never-ending flux of time. The riddle of the present is the deepest of all the riddles of time. Again, there is no answer except from that which comprises all time and lies beyond it — the eternal. Whenever we say “now” or “today,” we stop the flux of time…”

-The Eternal Now, Paul Tillich

This is the eternal now. Both static and dynamic, now just is. And it is always. Essentially the same in contour, and entirely flexible in context. Now is now is now is now.

Time is an illusion, past and future both the dynamic and ephemeral dance of neural activity; shadows dancing on a wall.

The future is not set in stone, nor is the past. Conscious memory, which to begin with is totally subjective in nature, changes over time. And the future is at best an educated projection, and at least nothing more than a possibly randomized projection of desire.

So this is now. It has always been now, and it will always be now. And according to our cultural myths of creation and destruction, now is eternally the end times. These days we live in are always the end of days.

We are, and always have been, in the Kali Yuga. By whatever name of this age, the world is ending. And we are facing that end from the moment of our birth to moment when, finally, the veil is lifted and we are free at last.

Unless we realize before death that we are always in the apocalypse, than fear of the unveiling, fear of the unknown, fear of loss of self is the ruling element of life and breath.

So the question becomes, what are you unveiling?

Sustainability – code word for, “Here comes Armageddon!”?

Ask any cult leader or government official; fear is a powerful tool for maintaining control.

The localization movement, the Back-to-the-Land/New Settler movement, and the sustainability movement all have (at least) one thing in common; they’re all built on fear.

And there’s a striking mirroring between the mentalities of Christian Right extremists and Radical Left extremists.

Same day, slightly different dogma. The shit is coming down, and it’s because God decreed it so, or because the Mayan calendar is ending in 2012, or because Y2K…oops, well that one wasn’t it after all, was it?

Flood, famine, plagues. They’re all on their way according to both wild-eyed posttribulationist Christians awaiting the rapture, and wide-eyed New Settlers, with their stores of seeds and grains, and non-violent ideologies – often backed up with caches of guns and ammo, just in case.

The biggest similarity between the two, though, is the idea that after the battles and plagues, the New Eden will be established on earth. How this plays out is slightly different between the two.

In the Christian New Eden, Jesus returns to earth, there is peace between the lion and the lamb, and all battles are ended.

In the New Settler version, civilization crumbles, there is a “return to” barter as currency, the gardens flourish, and an egalitarian culture of agrarian idealism is born.

As a former activist I can tell you a main flaw of a movement based in fear; when the perceived threat is resolved, the movement disintegrates. Of course, with peak oil, weather control experiments, global warming, the Council of Nine, and ecological destruction being the perceived threat, perhaps we don’t have to fear the immanent demise of these particular movements. Most of these foes, be they real (global warming) or possibly imagined (the Council of Nine), aren’t going anywhere quick.

However, it would behoove most of us to question the definition and design of the world we are living in moment to moment.

The Unveiling is happening continually in the eternal now. Perhaps heaven – and hell – are already here on earth. Perhaps each of us is living in the heaven or hell of our own making at this very moment.

Regardless of roots or results, this battle between right and might, or right and wrong, or good and evil, or us and them, leads to only one place; entrenchment in the endless war that is the end of days.

The Unveiling; live the life you want to create

This moment is the apocalypse. And this one. And this one. And this. The revelation continues, eternally.

What will you do with this fresh new moment, so precious and fleeting? This moment that will arise and vanish more quickly than the blink of an eye? All past is built from this present, and all future is built on it.

This moment is what you have. It’s all you have. It’s all you’ll ever have.

You are living in your own “end of days” – each day does lead one step closer to your personal eschatological fears or fantasies.

In each moment you are unveiling your own truth; your relative, self-defined, selective truth. Live in the world that you reveal consciously – because after all, the world you live in is the one that exists as you have revealed it.

Welcome to your apocalypse; your personal truth, unveiled and naked before you.

As Sartre wrote in Existentialism, “…even if God did exist, that would change nothing.” In other words, the question we must ask in facing the concept of Apocalypse, with an upper case or a lower case “a”, must not be, “Is the world ending?” but, “should it matter?”

For my love, on his 45th birthday

This is the beginning
all possibility and nubile gestures
the soft, damp dawn
touched with dew and whispy, whispery fog
we live in a valley of green
hills of gold
crowning moist, damp earth

there will come a time
where we gather these days around us
an aged bounty of petals
strewn whimsically on a sturdy, well-worn floor
and, creaking with the walls
flesh earth-like and joints like stone
we’ll dance gently into night

Finding Dr. Right

Yesterday I had a first appointment with a new psych doc. Never something I look forward to, but just like the search for a good care-provider of any type – massage therapist, chiropractor, general practitioner, gynecologist – sometimes finding Doctor Right takes some time.

As with ending any relationship – getting fired from a job, losing a best friend, an ugly break-up – there’s often trepidation about starting a new one. And, the clinician/client relationship holds its own special challenges.

After years of dealing with a mental health diagnosis, and finally finding myself ready to deal with it the right way, I’ve learned a few things:

    1. I’m tired of my own story.
    2. I’m afraid of the power-differential between doctor and patient.
    3. I don’t ever want to work with a clinician who’s crazier than I am again.

That last one should be a no-brainer, right? But surprisingly (or not so) there are many totally loony-bins, whack-job, lunatic fringe, damaged goods psych providers out there.

Point number two is a Big Deal – probably for many of us. The invisible agreement that the doc knows better than I do about my wellbeing.

First there’s the pre-appointment stress. But after years of hectic fear of the first face-to-face, I’ve learned an important technique; I write down everything I need to make sure I say, knowing by now that if I get too rattled I forget important elements…really important elements…like relevant symptoms, or past meds that messed me up more than they helped.

Then there’s the fear factor that comes up; yesterday I cried before the appointment, because my previous clinician was such a med-pusher that I was on a chemically induced rollercoaster for six months!

Talk about building up the charge of an already stressful situation; learning to live with a life-long disability is no walk in the park. Add in basically coercive medication roulette, and you’ve got fear in a bottle. A pill bottle. Again and again.

Point number one…that’s a little more complicated.

During the interview/first appointment, there’s a kind of haphazard tossing out of (very intimate) details of my life, from early childhood to recent events. Here I am, telling a complete stranger details and memories I wouldn’t easily tell even my closest friend.

Then there’s the post-interview reflection; what did the stories I chose from my grab-bag of memories and anecdotes and tossed on the table say about me?

What about what I wore (whatever was clean enough, and fit the weather – not much more thought went into the decision than that) – how could that be read? Did my clothing mix with the self-revelatory, bite-sized pieces of my tore-up heart in a way that could have been read as compounding my apparent level of injury?

I’m happy – and more than a little relieved – to report that yesterday’s interview went well.

Dr. G—- asked the right questions, and made the right statements. He even made a joke. He asked how often my previous clinician had seen me. I told him, “Well, once a week to once a month.” He said, “Hm! I guess that you make an interesting patient!” We quickly agreed that I didn’t need to be that interesting to him.

I came out of my appointment with newfound hope; this doc let me tell him only the parts of my story that I needed to share. He didn’t press for more information on topics that I was recalcitrant about. He told me he cared less about diagnosis, and more about finding solutions. He told me he wasn’t afraid to speak up – and I saw that that didn’t mean he felt like the need to “speak up” when he really had nothing to say.

I left my appointment with Dr. G—- with a sense that I was in control of my treatment, if not totally in control of my disorder. (God only knows when, or even if, that will happen.) I left empowered enough to allow for the realization that this was his interview for a job I was hiring for, not the other way around.

Wow! A true “Eureka!” moment!

After this less-than-traumatic session with a brand-new-to-me doc, I realized that in the interim between my previous clinician and this new one, I had formulated an idea that I wasn’t even really consciously aware of about what I wanted in a psych doc.

These desired elements were, and are, a lot of the same things I want in any relationship in my life; clear communication, even when there’s a possibility of disagreement. Strength without force. Sensitivity. Mutual respect. Good, appropriate boundaries. The possibility of this becoming a long-term commitment.

I’m done with fly-by-night clinicians. I’m even MORE done with flying-by-the-seat-of-their-pants clinicians.

In the light of this newly forming clinician/client bond, I’ve already learned a lot. In my opinion, any increase in awareness provided by the meeting of two minds is a good sign.

I’m not going to jump the gun and say I’ve found “the one”, but I’m happy to say I have a pretty good feeling that this thing just might work out. And, I’m going to cross my fingers and hope that it does. Here’s to hoping!

Maybe, just maybe, I’ve finally found my Dr. Right.

Exercise is Not Optional

(Wanna play yoga with us? Join our Community Yoga Experience – yoga everyday, from now until the autumnal equinox – Sept. 23.)

Physical exercise for me, from asana yoga, to running, to Pilates, to dancing, is not an optional part of my self-care. Yet I still act sometimes like it is. And end up back in the place that I find myself in, at this very moment; my spine aching in a certain place, one well known to me.

It’s the place where I start hurting when I’m not taking my physical practice as seriously as I need to.

That spot has moved over time, slowly moving up my spine like so much blocked kundalini. It was in my sacrum. Then it moved up to my floating ribs. Now it starts out as a whisper between my shoulder blades, mirrored by a pinch over my sternum.

When ignored, it slowly inches up my spine, working its way toward the base of my skull. Once it’s spread to my neck, it means I’ve waited too long, and now I’m healing from an injury, not preventing one.

But this injury is not one caused by over-doing. It was caused by NOT doing.

There are many points to physical practice for me. In the first place, to separate physical out from the other forms of practice is a blind. Physical is mental is spiritual is physical, etc.

On a more grounded level, my exercise regimen is one of the central focal points of my personal mental health treatment plan. Yes, I have one. Living with bipolar disorder makes a treatment plan a really good idea.

Bipolar disorder has edges to it. Along with my other mental-health commitments, regular exercise ameliorates many of the less-desirable ones. Depression is treated more effectively by physical exercise than by talk therapy. Mood stabilization is greatly increased by regular exercise.

When I exercise regularly, I feel better. And if I work up to it properly, the more I exercise, the better I feel.

There are many ways this works.

  • Exercise increases the release of feel-good chemicals in the neurological system.
  • When I make a realistic exercise commitment and stick to it, it’s good for my self-esteem.
  • When I exercise I feel stronger and more capable.
  • When I exercise regularly I feel better in my skin.
  • When I feel better, I look better, and when I look better, I feel better.

Some of these incentives to keep to a wellness regimen might seem shallow, perhaps, from the perspective of practice. Or at least something I might not want to admit to out loud – whether in a spiritual context, or in feminist circles.

While I believe our culture has an absolutely unrealistic and unattainable “beauty standard”, it still affects most of us. So, good, bad or neutral, I have to admit that my desire to “look better” is part of what fuels my personal commitment to fitness.

But that desire alone is not enough to predict follow-through.

It is only when I pull all the following elements together that my commitment becomes strong enough to withstand the lackadaisical attitude of indulgence that can so easily descend:

Body: health, fitness, feeling how I want to feel and looking how I want to look.

Mind: mental health, mood balance, energy, mood elevation.

Spirit: engagement with and in my body as spiritual practice, in itself. Coming conscious in the now of BEING. Finding the eternal in and trough the temporal.

Yet, even when all these are in play, sometimes my focus falters. I miss one day. And then another. And then another. And before I know it it’s been a week.

I obviously have a few lessons to learn here. And I know what at least some of them are.

1. The physical part of my practice is not optional.

2. Each time I forget that, and end up in the same place (shame, a sense of failure, and often physical pain, which adds in to the feeling of shame – because, goddamit, I know better than this!!!), I need to drop it, get back to the mat, or get out on the road, and put myself back in the game.

3. I can’t just start where I stopped. The older I get, the more careful I need to be in paying attention to what my body is capable of. Just because last time I did yoga I could touch my face to my shins in uttanasana doesn’t mean I can do it today. Whether “last time” was yesterday or a week ago, this it still true.

And, the final lesson, the biggest lesson in all of this, is temperance. Work hard, but not too hard. Be committed, but don’t over-reach.

When you fall off the horse, get back on. Don’t beat yourself up for falling. Just pick yourself up, dust yourself off, get back on, and ride.

You can’t just sit this one out; living in a body is not a spectator sport.

(Join our Community Yoga Experience – yoga everyday, from now until the autumnal equinox – Sept. 23.)

Community Yoga Experience – Summer Solstice through Autumnal Equinox

Commit to doing asana (posture) yoga daily from now until September 23 — with all of US! Come to this page daily and use the comments feature to share your practice.

Let this be your forum to share your practice, ask for support, offer encouragement, and track your own practice.

Consider this an experiment in collaboration – dive in, and enjoy!

My first contribution to the thread explains more of my intention:

After a few days of missing practice, I did 20 minutes the day before yesterday. Did my 40 minutes last night. My upper back and neck are messed up, not from DOING, but from NOT doing.

I’m trying to be gentle, but if anything the fact that I’m sore in the way that I’m sore proves that I have not been “on my game” enough lately. It’s just NOT okay for me to miss days anymore.

Thus, this experiment. Will I be more inclined to stick to my daily practice when you are in witness of me, and I am inspired by witnessing you? I think I will be.

Play with me! Let’s see how this thing goes.

Share your words! Comment daily! Ask for support, and offer it up! It’s what we’re all here for.

Namste.

On Writer’s Block – From a Writer to her Reader

I didn’t write my 800 words yesterday. It wasn’t a case of too few ideas, but too many. So many possible things to write about, and so much to write about them.

On the other hand, it was a desire for a royal flush in the writing department. After a number of articles that have struck deep chords in my readers, I found myself becoming attached to the idea of writing about IMPORTANT topics.

If there’s anything that will get in the way of writing, it’s the desire to do it “right”.

I don’t “believe in” writer’s block. Writer’s block, in my opinion, is an excuse not to get writing. A fear-based response to the desire to write “right”.

When writer’s block hits, the only thing to do is to write through it. Pen to page, fingers to keyboard.

It’s not, a that point, about finding something to say, as much as saying anything.

Starting to fill the page.

In many cases the mind will turn toward a topic, and work the topic into a thread in fits and starts. The topic may even be invisible at first, hidden beneath the surface.

Today I find my block be this double-edge quill; too much to say, and the desire for excellence in saying it.

The ideas were flowing like leaves down a runnel yesterday – faster than I could catch them at times.

And the articles I’ve been waiting to write were big and daunting, waiting for the words to find their way to my tongue, or in this case, my fingers, lurking like phatasms in the front of my mind, right behind my eyes.

Too much to say about the Middle East; where can I find the words to tell the stories that found me, that formed me there?

Too much to write about the choice to change my last name; the retrogressive, transgressive act of abdicating my singularity by making a choice so metaphorical and traditional.

Too much to say about the apocalypse.

Spiritual materialism.

And then the new ideas, rushing like rainwater running off a roof, flowing through my fingers.

Words I want to say about the madness that descends on many women who have not found their “perfect” mate.

An open letter to President Obama.

So, out of overwhelm, I found excuses. I had to wait for this and that, I had errands to run, I put writing to the side until it was too late to focus.

In all of this, I got around to yoga again.

Just like writing, just like keeping to healthy habits and away from unhealthy ones, everyday – indeed every moment – is an opportunity for a recommitment.

So, I put fingers to keyboard, release attachment (again and again) to perfection, try to forget about you, my reader – though for me, you are impossible to forget about.

I write from myself, but I am not a writer who writes FOR myself. There are many of these, and more power to you who are.

But I write, nearly all the time, for you. The mostly faceless you – though sometimes I borrow a face, an idea of you to imagine as my reader so that I can find the right words, the context for the conversation, the contours that a talk with you would have, the curves we would wander in our intellectual discourse.

I write for my readers. However few or many might grace me with the gift of their attention, each piece of writing is for the world. This truth is a place where attachments arise for me. So instead of an attachment that stops me, I turn this attachment into a question.

Is the gift I want to offer you a worthy one? Is it worthy of your eyes? Is it a gift worth giving?

When I see the number of readers who read an article spike (yeah, I’m a stats counter…I pay attention to the traffic to my articles), the joy I feel is not gross (as in, unrefined) pride, but a sense of honor that I have been able to offer you a gift that enriched your life in any way.

As a writer, this is all that I hope for; the experience of our minds connecting in aether. A conversation that happens in the abstract.

I do not see writing as a one-way stream of communication. Words need to be heard, or read, to be given meaning. You, dear reader, make writing my ultimate reward.

Sex Positive Parenting

Teaching Our Children About Sex.

(Reprinted from elephant journal, June 19, 2010.)

As a child of the ‘70s, and more-over, a child of the counter-culture, I can say there is such a thing as too much permissiveness. However, sexual positivity and sexual permissiveness are not by nature the same thing.

Conscious parenting has many focuses and aspects. But one area that perennially gets too little attention in the movement toward conscious parenting is that of sex and our kids.

If we, as conscious parents, can’t begin bringing sex out of the closet, who can? Yet again and again I see evidence of a profound split in our (counter) cultural psyche that has sex on one side and everything else on the other.

Recently, our esteemed editor at elephant journal, Waylon Lewis, started a new fan page on facebook. Here’s his post about the new page:

Join our new page (elephant journal gets sexy) where we’ll be posting the Sexy once we have enough friends over there (we’re making this page more family-friendly).

As I understand it, Waylon didn’t do this because he wanted to, but because he had gotten tired of having to apologize for “sexy” content on the elephant journal fan page.

Why does “family friendly” translate to “devoid of any sexual content”?

How are we supposed to have an open conversation with our kids about sex when we can’t have a rational conversation about it as adults? It’s not our kids who are reading the fan page, its us!

Apparently, there is no “middle way” as far as our cultural relationship with sex is concerned.

But here’s the simple truth; we have bodies. We have sex. And according to science, sex is good, and good for us!

Our culture is saturated with sexualized images. It’s drenched in sexual terminology. Sexual energy is a foundational part of social interaction.

Not all of these things are always positive. Many sexualized images are not sex-positive, and much of the sexual terminology at play in the social lexicon of the schoolyard is down-right negative.

But in our blanket negation of sexual expression as part of a healthy life, or even a healthy spiritual reality, we in effect take ourselves out of the conversation.

When things are hidden, they gain importance. Separating sex out makes it simultaneously more important (not always in good ways) and less transparent (rarely a good thing at all).

What we don’t say often says more than what we do say. Leaving sex out of the conversation makes it a dark and hidden topic. Forbidden fruit. Dirty. Unmentionable.

But a question you may want to ask yourself is, “Where do I want my kid getting his/her information about sex from?”

The best tool we can offer our children is sexual literacy.

Sexual literacy begins with awareness and appropriate education. The information you hand down to your child will inevitably be flavored by your own values, morals and ethics. So the more clear you are on what those values, ethics, and morals are, the more consciously you will be able to help your child gain literacy, and develop their own ethical structure.

One starting point for increasing awareness and definition of your sexual ethics is my Sexual Values and Ethics Worksheet (download here). This worksheet can also be a starting point for a group discussion with your family, other parents, or your friends.

Contrary to popular belief, sexual expression does not instantly commence at puberty. Children, like all of us, are sexual beings. They have sexual feelings, and sexual curiosity. They engage – even in utero – in sexual self-stimulation.

Ignoring the fact that our children have their own sexual lives won’t make the fact that they do go away. Yet the idea of seeing “sex” and “child” in the same article, let alone the same paragraph or sentence, puts many parent’s hair on end.

In our household, sex has always been one of the items on the table. Not the only item, not the central item, but not a hidden item either.

Since my kids were little, we’ve parented with a few rules about communication. Rules for us, as parents – not rules for them. Rule number one, and first in importance, has always been, “If the child is old enough to ask a question, she’s old enough for a valid, age-appropriate answer.”

This rule has been implemented regarding everything from ecology to economy to spirituality to sexuality. And this leveling of the conversational playing field has had the effect of ameliorating both super-negative and super-positive charge on the topic of sex and sexuality.

This tack hasn’t removed all embarrassment, nor has it ensured that our children agree with us regarding everything we believe about sex. It hasn’t made it so that our children are automatically going to defer to us without argument when we set a limit.

But those things were never the goal.

Years worth of open, educated, aware, and non-judgmental conversation with our children has allowed for an ongoing and honest dialogue; one where our kids know that sex is a natural part of the conversation. It has made our home a safe place to discuss a socially and culturally charged, complex topic.

And, most importantly, this encouragement of sexual literacy has allowed our kids the ability to make their own well thought-out and conscious choices about sex and sexuality.

To Hell With Chicken Little!

A while back my ten-year-old kid came home from school and said, “Mom, is the world really going to end in 2012?”

This moment was one I hadn’t even known I had a secret dread of.

I was raised as part of the Back-to-the-Land movement. If you weren’t there, you probably don’t know that a big chunk of the foundation of the Back-to-the-Land movement was apocalyptic. The hippies who went to the hills were not just running from The Man, and not just “to the garden”, many were running into a safe zone – a place where they’d be safe “when the shit comes down”.

I grew up in a world where there was always an immanent threat that the sky was going to fall on our heads at any minute. I grew up in fear of the mushroom cloud, the Big One (the California Quake), the flu, whatever date was the next forecasted end-point. My dad used to joke (half-seriously) about the day we’d have oceanfront property (assuming we survived the quake).

In addition to the threat of natural and man made disaster, there was a strong us/them mentality in the Back-to-the-Land movement. Fear and disdain for The Man was one of the binding agents that drew like-minded souls together.  And we were Us, and everyone else was Them.

But even more than the divide between those who had “turned on, tuned in, and dropped out” and the worker bees of the mainstream, there was a pronounced fear, a cultural paranoia, that They (whoever They were) were out to get Us.

This larger They was not the worker bee, but some nefarious entity that controlled the environment that the worker bees lived in.

This terminology is mostly my own, but I don’t know how else to explain the beliefs that formed a bedrock for me – a bedrock of fear and overwhelm. A bedrock that I, to this day, rebel against.

By the time the Y2K scare rolled around I had one kid, and another one on the way. My kids’ dad and I were living on the land where I grew up. Everyone we knew was hoarding water, grains, seeds, fuel, candles, and more. The more radical amongst them were also stockpiling ammo for the hunting rifles and shotguns they owned.

It was a turning point for me. I made my decision to take a stand against the enculturation of fear. We didn’t finish the bomb shelter my parents had started in the ‘70s. We didn’t buy 50 pound bags of rice. We didn’t even get extra candles.

I decided, then and there, that I would not raise my children in a culture of fear.

So, ten years later, here was my kid, looking me in the eye and asking for reassurance. And I told her what I believe to be true; “No, honey. The world is not going to end in 2012.”

Anger surged in me, even though I know I can’t control my kids’ environments fully, even though I know that the culture of fear will grow, fungus-like, into the cracks where fear already lives. The innate, biological fear of death that wraps itself around us, fills the darkened cracks and crevasses, and warps our vision of future possibility.

I asked my daughter who it was that said that the world would end, but the question was irrelevant; just like in the ‘70s, just like in 1500s when the plague was spreading like wildfire, just like in 1000 AD, the end is nigh!

The funny thing is, most Back-to-the-Landers are not even Christian. Yet, the at-once fear-driven and hope-inspired belief that, indeed, the shit WILL come down, strongly mirrors the Christian preoccupation with the apocalypse.

Some wait and pray for the downfall of the Machine, imagining a day when the collapse of The World As We Know It will lead us through a magical doorway, and back into “the garden’; a beautiful place where people live (once again, some would claim) in harmony with the land, sit around campfires, and build egalitarian communities together.

Famine, global warming, war without end. Yes, these are sorry and sad truths. But signs that the end is at hand? I choose to think that they are not.

Moreover, I choose not to raise my children believing that they are.

Peak oil will happen. Maybe sooner, maybe later. But will we rise to the occasion and adapt to renewable energy sources? The answer is yet to be seen, but it’s not out of the question that there will be a positive outcome.

War rages as it has since time immemorial. Will that ever change? What if there was a chance that there are positive effects of the globalization of culture? What if 13-year-old pen-pals who live in America, Israel, and Palestine learn to build a world beyond boundaries?

Some may call me pollyanna, or worse. Some may think I’m living with my head in the sand. Some may think I’m a starry-eyed idealist. I assure you I am not. I’m well aware of the global predicament.

And, that secret dread I mentioned at the opening of this article? The secret dread is that maybe the shit IS coming down. Maybe we won’t make the collective changes that need to be made in time. Maybe, even though it wasn’t Y2K, or any of the other “This is it!” scares that have happened in my life and beyond, maybe this IS it!

When this dread arises, I ask myself a few questions. These are those questions:

Do I want to raise my children to love life, or to fear death? Do I want to raise them to trust their fellow man, or to weave nihilistic, egoist tales of conspiracy? Do I want raise my children to believe that the nameless, faceless “Them” is like a Hydra with innumerable heads and  poisonous breath, or do I want my children to think beyond an “us” and a “them” into a place of “we”?

I choose to raise my children grounded strongly in a sense of justice and the possibility of effecting change. I inculcate my children with the idea that this is now, and now is what we make it. I don’t frighten them with the spectre of a post-apocalyptic tomorrow, nor do I promise them the return of the garden, the advent of heaven on earth.

I choose to raise my children with their feet on the ground, and their hands reaching for the stars that glow in a future of their own making.

A New Generation of Fathers – A Shout-Out to the New Dad

I know very few peers who were raised by both parents. I have very many peers whose fathers were at best absent, and at worst abusive. Though really, abandonment leaves scars nearly as readily as any other kind of abuse does.

Most of us lived through our parent’s divorces as kids. Divorce is as prevalent as it was when I was a child, but there is a new pattern emerging in this generation.

Now we have a new generation of fathers; this is the New Dad.

In my generation, Generation X, the ending of the first marriage (called a “starter marriage” by a friend), feels almost like a rite of passage into true adulthood.

But this generation is writing a new story about what happens after divorce. The New Dads grew up in houses mostly absent of any stable father figure. These men are doing their part in authoring this new ending-as-beginning; they’re sticking around. Even more impressively, they’re working with their baby-mommas to make it possible to co-parent with as much peace and agreement as possible.

This isn’t always an easy task. After all, divorces happen for a reason. Couples grow apart.

Divorce is a more acceptable option for our generation than it was for our parents’ generation. Staunch “family values” types would likely cite this as a proof of a cultural failing.

I prefer to look at the positive side, and say that perhaps because divorce has become more culturally prevalent, and overtime more socially acceptable, it’s become a less destructive option.

As a generation born in the midst of the divorce boom, we learned at least two things thoroughly; divorce is often the right choice (it certainly was in the case of my mom and dad), and divorce is potentially much harder on the kids than it is on the adults involved.

Out of this awareness, we’ve learned 1., that there’s no shame in calling it quits before a functional relationship with the ex is out of the question, and 2., the needs of the kids should always out weigh any pettiness on the part of the adults.

And the New Dad is a product of the divorce boom as well – by merit of the fact that this man was most likely raised primarily (if not exclusively) by his mother. While this is not in all ways a good thing, there are positives that are present.

While the absence of a father figure in a man’s life can lead to confusion about what it means to be a dad, there are a few elements working in the positive, and producing some really beautiful fathering by the men of generations X and Y.

By and large, men raised by their mamas have a lot of respect for the work their moms did to keep them happy, healthy, and taken care of growing up. And, using the absence of their fathers (or in worse cases, the abuse) as an example of how NOT to parent, these New Dads are making new choices.

The New Dad is nurturing, involved, sensitive and engaged with his children. After a separation, this New Dad works hard to create a healthy co-parenting relationship with his ex. In the best case, this manifests as a sense of extended family. In less ideal circumstances, it comes down to putting aside disagreements with the ex in order to create the most positive co-parenting relationship possible.

In the absence of a positive father figure, it’s almost as if the New Dad is starting over with a clean slate. And with that slate in front of him, the New Dad is taking out the sidewalk chalk and sitting down with his kids to draw a brand new image of what being a father means.

Here’s a shout out to all the New Dads; Happy Father’s Day, and THANKS FOR BEING YOU!

For more about kids of divorce, read this cool piece at NPR!

Breathing for the Liberation of All Beings

For the first day in this 21 day experiment, I am not feeling overly inspired to write. As another writer taking part in the experiment asked this morning, “where do I start?” I answered; “Start where you are! Trite, but still good advice. :-)

And here I am. Stuck.

Over the past few days I have poured my very self out onto the page…and now, stillness. Quiet. It’s kind of a soothing quiet; the calm after the storm sort of quiet. You know it’s not going to last forever. But it’s that moment of grace.

Quiet is not always an easy place to sit. Especially when seeking it. Like when ass hits cushion, ready for meditation practice. Then quiet is not so easy.

Speaking of meditation practice, of sitting practice in particular, I haven’t been doing it. For over a year I have not been doing sitting meditation.

I haven’t been avoiding it because it’s too hard. I’ve been avoiding it because it’s too easy. Not too easy to find the simple quiet – too easy to find that ecstatic, expansive quiet. The quiet where light comes alive, slithers up my spine, blows the top off my head. And I ignite is ecstasy and entasy, involution and expansion both the same, that state of perfect beingness, where I “touch the face of god”, and then dissolve into it. I say, “touch the face of god” in quotations because in that sort of quiet, that ringing singing humming silence, there is no face, there is no god, there is not I to touch it.

In other words, I get to high. And in my world too high can lead to happy which, in other words, translates to just a little taste of mania.

It sucks to be afraid of mergence with the Most Beloved.

I live in a land where my own range of emotions is not to be trusted. Where happy can mean high can mean manic. Where waking up on the wrong side of bed can mean sad can mean depressed.

There is no simplicity in it. In my world, emotions are both bellwether and weather vane. Sometimes wrong side of the bed leads to sad leads to depression. Sometimes depression is the root of sadness and the reason for the waking up on the wrong side of the bed.

Emotions both lead to one another, and predict themselves. But sometimes the evidence of the state arrives too late to do anything about it.

So, I look at “happy” with a quizzical eye.

A while back, after meditating, I got happy. I was driving, and saw how the light hit the clouds just right. I started having many thoughts. And immediately thought, “Too happy!” All the same, once I got to my destination I pulled out my journal and pen and wrote a few pages of notes about God, and love, and who knows what else.

Underneath, in all caps, I wrote, “FEELING TOO GOOD. DON’T MAKE ANY DECISIONS OF IMPORTANCE RIGHT NOW.”

So I put an anchor on good moods to weight them down, and try to prop shove a buoy under bad ones, just in case.

Here in the world where emotions are not always simple, simplicity is not always the answer. “Don’t do something, just sit there,” can easily lead to tripping the light fantastic without moving a toe.

The only sitting meditation I can do without risk of Kundalini Rising is the practice of Tonglen, where I take the suffering of the world into my body, and release the suffering with my breath – transformed through nonattachment.

This form of meditation grounds me. It calms me. It brings me down to earth.

As a bodhisattva, it is my work to calm my own fires. To release attachment, to relearn my own self of no self. To heal my own heart. To release my own suffering, too.

As a world-healer, a bodhisattva, sometimes I forget that world-healing happens in my own heart. First, last, and only. This is not to say that meditation is the only activism; far from it. Our acts in the world are the healing of it. So are our acts in our homes and in our hearts. Thoughts are things, and things are thoughts, and all the ideas and arisings manifest in the here and now, thoughts and emotions becoming attachment causing suffering.

As I practice my tonglen, I release attachment. Attachment is suffering. Seeking of heights, sinking into lows, only becoming suffering in attachment.

Too happy, too sad, all expressions of an arising of self, a self both mutable and transmutable. So, I breathe in suffering, breath out in nonattachment. And so release suffering both global and personal

The world is my heart is the world. There is no there. I am That.

I breathe in, breathe out. For the liberation of all beings.

Confessions of a Bad Polyamorist

Polyamory (from Greek πολυ [poly, meaning many or several] and Latin amor [love]) is the practice, desire, or acceptance of having more than one intimate relationship at a time with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved.
-Wikipedia

Love is God, God is love, both are the same, and as God, love is limitless.

This is what I have been told, have even known, deep in my cells. My love for God is limitless. God’s love for me is limitless.

But what about when it comes to the human realm? Somewhere along the way my wires got crossed, and I can’t seem to transfer the limitless love that exists on the metaphysical plane into the human experience.

We were all raised on romanticized, idealized versions of love. Love that translates to need, to desire, to longing to possession, to jealousy.

Men have killed and died for love. Love of land, love of country, love of beauty – Helen of Troy’s face launched a thousand ships.

We all saw the reality of what was called love playing out in our lives – sometimes gruesome, sometimes fragile, often fleeting, and so easily broken.

Wrapped up in my stories of “not enough” – not enough food at times, never enough money – and my personal childhood story where grown-up love meant fits of blind rage and jealousy, where threats and fists were romantic expressions, my wires got crossed.

After threatening the most heinous things when my mother would get “too close” to another man, my dad left our family for a younger woman.

I decided, as all young women raised in abusive households do, that this would never be my story as an adult. That fist and fury were not love. That jealous threats of injury or death would not in my life equate with romance.

I held to this decision in the only way I knew how to; never let anyone close enough, and they can’t hurt you.

I broke hearts, I cheated, I destroyed relationships by holding everyone I could have loved (and even did) at arm’s length.

I found resourceful ways to create a reality in which this was acceptable. I read Anarchists texts about the abolition of relationship-as-possession, I fell in with the right crowd, I found a home in the anti-establishmentarian movement of Anarchism, where non-monogamy was the norm.

All the same, at 19 I ended up in a relationship where fists were kisses, and threats were love, and jealous rages stormed both ways. I had let someone in, and he had let me in. We thought it would be forever. And the four years we were together felt like it was. An endless entrenchment, a battle.

When I finally got my head together and left the abusive relationship that closed the eternal-return-of-same loop handed down by way of my familial imprinting, I made my own rules. I didn’t let anyone claim me. I didn’t claim anyone.

My “orientation” toward non-monogamy was a wall. It ended the argument before it started. No one had any right to be jealous, because they knew what the rules were. And as long as I stayed on the surface of things, my own jealousy didn’t rear its ugly head.

When I was 25, I got married to someone safe. To someone I knew would never hit me.  To someone I knew I wouldn’t be with forever. To someone who would be a gentle father to my children. To someone I knew I could live without.

And I cheated on my (now ex) before we even got married.

When we married, I stopped. And though we were theoretically in an open relationship, for the first four years of our marriage we didn’t have other relationships. We were building a foundation.

I came clean to him about having cheated. He wasn’t jealous. He wasn’t upset.

When finally we opened our relationship again, I was the one who dove into a new relationship with an old lover; the same lover I had cheated on my husband with four years earlier. My (now ex) husband still wasn’t jealous. He even okayed the relationship before hand.

Some part of me read his lack of jealousy as a lack of love. As a lack of passion.

But I was in too deep to have an easy time allowing him the same freedom he allowed me. Some of it came back to the sense of “never enough” that has roots deep in my childhood. The never enough was a lack of passion, a lack of engagement, a lack of sexual interaction.

I felt I was always running at a deficit.

I relied on non-monogamy to fill the gaps left by the lack I felt at home. The lack I had built myself into.

But it was unfair. I was unfair. I expected the freedom to get my needs fulfilled but felt hurt when he sought the same. I felt neglected, not just by the actions themselves, but by never feeling loved enough from within the walls of safety I had built around myself.

Walls and all, I was in too deep. Too deep to not get scared when he took his love elsewhere.

Love was finite. Sex was finite. Passion was nearly non-existent. It’s harder to share when the cupboard is bare.

I still tried my best. I still believed in the ideals of non-monogamy, of polyamory. We were activists about it, my (now ex) husband and I. I taught classes on how to negotiate open relationships.

It didn’t feel hypocritical – I never entirely gave in to my jealousy and let it run the show.

Well, never except when I was faced with my (now ex) husband falling in love with a younger woman. Falling in love with her a way he had never loved me. After ten years of working on his lack of passion, lack of intimate touch, years of supporting his working toward a more substantial relationship with embodiment, after working on helping him to overcome deep-rooted sexual issues, someone else was benefitting in a way I never had. And in a way I knew I never would.

Ten years in, we separated. It was time.

After we did, I fell head-over-heels in love with a couple who were having their own troubles. I rode that wave, willing to give it my all. But it was a doomed experiment. So I fell back to my default position; non-monogamy; “You don’t own me!” And I don’t own you. And you can’t touch me. My heart already hurts enough.

In all of this, I found the love of God, intact, strong, resilient. The true center of love of self, in my experience. No matter how deeply I might fall out of love with me, It was always there to pick me back up, put me back together, make me whole through my own surrendering.

God told me to keep working on it.; to work on balancing and healing Love, balancing and healing relationships between men and women. I asked “HOW?”, “How am I supposed to do this when attachment arises, and hunger looms, and I feel there’s never enough, never enough to fill me?”

An answer came in a rush of images. All beings are God. If God is Love, and God is limitless, than Love is limitless.

Shortly thereafter, I found love in the experience of , by reputation, the most culturally jealous men on the planet; Islamic men. I found love – albeit “chaste” and courtly love, and loved more than one.

I found my way through jealousy in the complex terrain of new cultural formats. I loved a man who was married. He could have taken me as his second wife, as it was culturally acceptable.

I felt no jealousy toward his wife. And as long as I kept it all in perspective, even this deep relationship had no need of going deeper. There was no chance we would actually marry.

But for a time period I was monogamous to a man who was in a committed, lifelong, primary relationship. And I wasn’t even having sex with him!

It was my first experience of being truly monogamous. I didn’t cheat. I was fulfilled. I felt full with this love, even though the physical consummation of that love was impossible.

I felt safe in that love.

Perhaps I felt safe because there was no future in it. Perhaps I felt safe because he told me what to do, gave me parameters.

Perhaps I felt safely held by his jealousy.

Fast forward; this has all been history, back story.

Two and a half years later, I’m married to a man who is not Muslim. Who is never jealous. I’m married to a man who is a committed polyamorist.

I’m married to a man who chose me partially because he knew me by reputation as an educator, and as an educator about open relationships.

All freshly forming relationships fall under a glamour in the blush of new love. We both asked the “right” questions in our courting, and heard what we wanted to hear. I asked, “Do you believe in monogamy as a possible relationship choice?” (or something like that), and he answered “Yes, absolutely, as long as both partners are happy in it.” I heard, “Yes…” and that was what I needed to hear.

I don’t recall what he asked, or perhaps he was just relying on my reputation for the certainty that “poly” would never be an issue.

We could both have been more clear in our questions, answers and desires in this arena. And of course it’s not the only area where we were perhaps vague in our communication of desire of expectation.

Polamory is just the biggest. It’s our albatross.

My husband and I don’t have any regrets about having chosen one another. It was a coming home when we found each other, and we entered into a life-long commitment of love, devotion, trust, and faith.

We are wildly passionate in our love, we are best friends, we are deeply caring with each other, we have allowed ourselves to be known by each other more deeply and completely than we have ever been known before.

In the art of true transparency, we know – and help to hold – one another’s deepest fears and greatest hopes.

These are some confessions of a “bad” polyamorist:

Confession: Even though I know how deeply and completely my husband loves me, even though he touches me with tenderness and passion, even though he wears his love for me on his sleeve, I still can’t always find trust.

Confession: Perhaps it’s been a self-fulfilling prophesy, but I have been burned again and again over the years by the open-relationship format, whatever you call it; non-monogamy, polamory, swinging.

Confession: In my fear, I’ve done my own share of burning, too.

Confession: I often see my husband’s old lovers who still want something from him as a threat.

Confession: Sometimes I see his lack of jealousy as a lack of love, a lack of devotion.

Confession: I am scared to death of losing him by clinging too much, and scared to death of losing him by letting him loose.

I am scared. And, confession; in that fear I retreat to the same place I always have, my too-sensitive warning system rings loudly, a robotic voice in the back of my mind clanging, “Danger! Danger! Danger!”, over and over again.

In our hearts and home, our life together is beautiful. Gentle. Passionate. Almost always understanding. Almost completely peaceful.

But, confession; there is an elephant in the middle of the room. Sometimes it walks away for a while, but it always comes back.

That elephant’s name is Jealousy, and she is mine.

Learning to be Human

Today I start with frustration. It’s not the topic I want to write about. I am dead-tired of self-introspective, self-indulgent, self-aggrandizing writing, yet here I am today, finding my self starting with my own self-indulgent expression of dissatisfaction.

Yesterday at therapy my (very awesome) therapist and I were talking about summer break. About how it’s easy for the kids, harder for the parents. The disruption of daily schedules. The breaking in of voices – pitching into the higher ranges as my kids get older,  the self-centered expression of teen-hood outranking the earlier experiences of differentiation by leaps and bounds.

But we got to the point in our conversation where we both agreed that time off was a good thing. That maybe we all deserved a break. A three-month vacation.

“Yeah.” I said. “I’d like a vacation from bipolar disorder.”

She laughed with me, and said, “Yeah, maybe that would make the rest of the year easier.”

To which I said, “Maybe. And maybe not.” Would it be easier to go back to this daily struggle after experiencing life without it? Would it be worth it to live for three months on even seas, and the rest on choppy waters?

My frustration comes in moments, sneaking up on me, of envy. Of watching people in the same work I was in when I was manic achieving at their full potential. And I get mad at the disorder that allowed both the energy to strive for my own expression, and the tendency to diverge from it. Projects half completed – book proposals written, and never published because of my incessant searching for the “Next Thing”.

And now, frustration at the side-effect of the mood stabilizers that allow me to live in relative peace and harmony with my daily responsibilities.

Except when desire arises, the desire to create, the desire to express, the desire to teach like I used to teach, and I find myself shackled to the need to maintain this steady ship that is my now more orderly, more ordinary, more stable life.

But to blame it all on the medication is unfair. The feeling of shackles that arises from time to time, yes. But my inability to offer at my fullest potential, what is that?

What is my fullest potential, the potential I am falling short of?

Waves of mania and depression caused a dual life. A life partially hidden, partially revealed.

It was not out of pride that I hid those moments of weakness, but out of self-defense. Being that vulnerable is not safe in a world that expects the world of you.

So I abdicated the role of teacher. Moved from the front of the room to the back, and slowly, quietly, exited the building altogether.

It’s not that I think spiritual teachers need to be perfect. Indeed, it is perhaps more important that they are not. And perhaps it is time for the teachers amongst us to unveil the basic humanity, the insecurities and failings that are the underpinnings of how we learn to teach.

According to his grandson, Arun Gandhi, Mohandas K. Gandhi asked repeatedly not to be called Mahatma, a word that basically means saint.

To paraphrase, he said that if he were called a saint, others would feel that being as he was and doing as he did would seem too out of reach.

So, perhaps in sharing my underbelly, perhaps in continuing to write, and to teach, in all my gore and gloriousness, in my moments of triumph and defeat, is actually offering myself at my full potential.

Indeed, if it is what I have to offer, it must be. If I were capable of offering more, I would offer more.

I have never been one for hero-worship. I kill the Buddha. Even in my most manic moments, I have never desired a pedestal. Perhaps a soapbox, but never a dias, never a throne, never a too-trusting and self-abdicating bow of the head at the flow of words that rush from my mouth or fingertips.

Engage with me. Here in the dirt of human experience, among the rough hard rocks and the fleeting, failing flesh of it all, I hope you can find it in you to allow for my wounds.

As a teacher, if I am such a thing, I request that you teach me. In vulnerability and strength, show me not only your best, but bring your worst. Teach me your inner story, share your moments of triumph and defeat, and your moments of glory.

Together we will learn what it is to be human. We will learn what it is to be holy and whole. We will learn to be perfectly imperfect, and imperfectly perfect.

Rumi says, “Out beyond our ideas of right and wrong, there is a field. I will meet you there.”

That field awaits us. The one where there is no teacher and student, or were everyone is both. Where there is no expectation of perfection as a prerequisite for wisdom.

There is no path. That field is only a thought away. In fact, it is here, now.

The Devotion of Presence, The Presence of Devotion

Dilemmas of a Householder

There was a time in my life where I so strongly desired to be in perfect Presence all the time that my desire for Presence became the greatest pain I had ever felt.

I sought absolute ego death; annihilation of self into Self, the surrender of “I” into that which is greater than all Its parts combined.

The desire to merge with the supreme and eternal – whether you call It God, Brahman, Allah, nirvana, liberation, or any of the other words we might use to describe the ineffable – became unbearable. I was being driven mad by it. Separation from Itness (God, Krishna, Nirvana, Allah…) was agony. I desired always to surrender myself to this deeper home.

Hari, hear my plea.
Dark One, I am
your servant,
a vision of you has driven me mad.
Separation eats at my limbs.
Because of you
I’ll become a yogini and ramble
from city to city scouring the hidden quarters -
pasted with ash, clad in a deerskin
my body wasting
to cinder.
I’ll circle from forest to forest
wretched and howling -
O Unborn, Indestructible,
come to your beggar!
Finish her pain and touch her
with pleasure!
This coming and going will end,
says Mira,
with me clasping your
feet forever.

-Mirabai

I found myself struggling with the life choices I had made. “If only I were a sadhu,” I thought, “then I could give myself over, cease the thinking, the planning. I could give myself fully to Presence. I could constantly allow for the sweet surrender that is the greatest Union.”

But that choice, the path of the sadhu, the path of austerity, was not the choice I had made in building my life. I had two children to attend to. A husband. A career. I had deadlines to keep, money to make, children to care for, to love and support.

For months the ache of longing and the confusion caused by my desire for Presence was like a sword stuck through my heart. The pain of separation was searing; almost unbearable.

But I had already made my choices about how I was going to spend my life; once a mother, always a mother. I could have left my career, I could have left my home, I could have left my husband. (As a matter of fact, the leaving of my now-ex-husband was already in the works.)

But I could never leave my children. The suffering caused would be too great.

And my love for them, I am almost guilty to admit, felt like a loadstone around my neck, heavy as an anchor, yet pointing in the only direction I could go; nowhere.

Finally I began asking, “What is Presence? How can I be committed to relationship with others, and Present in The Eternal at the same time? How do I stay Present in love?”

The question rolled around my mouth in wordless curls. It ricocheted through my mind. It bounced and bounded, banged against the edges of my self.

After weeks of weighty rumination, after hours of sitting on my zafu, after what felt like gallons of tears, and after surrendering fully to the burning pain of separation, I broke through the koan that had formed itself inside of me. In a moment of realization, the answer arrived, fully formed and lotus-like.

The question became the answer; “how can I be present in love” became, “love is Presence.” Love is not attachment. Attachment is not love.

Attachments are the causes of dukkha – often translated as suffering, though in my opinion this is a limiting interpretation of the term.

According to Tantra Yoga, these attachments are called kankucas, or “becloudings”. According to Georg Feuerstein, the kankucas can be translated as partiality, knowledge, attachment, time, necessity. Partiality, because we cease to allow for fullness of being. Knowledge, because we cease to allow for growth. Attachment, because it clouds possibility of outcome. Time, because it limits consciousness of the eternal. Necessity, because it limits us.

In Buddhist terminology, the attachments are called skandhas. The skandhas are form, sensation, perception, impulses, and consciousness.

Of these attachments, form is the strongest (and the easiest to encapsulate), because

1., form leads to the illusion of separation from the formless, and

2., because form is transitory, and attachment to form as self leads to dukkha.

The skandhas are the aggregates that form a sense of self, and are the causes of clinging.

All of the skandhas, or parts of the sense of self-as-form are the causes dukkha.

My attachment to what I considered the “perfect” form of Presence, was, at that time, causing my own suffering.

These are obstacles to liberation; the illusion of separation, and the expectations, desires, and responsibilities that we so often mistake as love and commitment.Mom and girls.

As a householder, the desire for subsumation into the nondual must merge with the path of devotion, which is often a dualist form of worship. Moment to moment, we dance between mergence and devotion.

Loving in Presence is showing up to my relationship with my children, my husband, and my responsibilities in life in the fullness with which I show up to my relationship with the Divine.

How do we stay present in love? How do we stay Present in abiding relationships with mortal beings? By releasing the illusion of separation, moment to moment.

And when we find ourselves in separation, we stay Present by devoting ourselves to those we serve as if they were God Itself.

Because, after all, they are.

Fearless in the Face of God – my journey to the Holy Land, part I

God was, literally, talking to me. It (my gender-neutral pronoun – I just can’t say He!) was waking me from my dreams every night. It was giving me clear directives. It was telling me how to live my life, what to do, and how to do it.

When I wasn’t awakened by The Voice, it found It’s way in through my dreams. I could plug my ears, or sleep through the nightly sermon out of sheer exhaustion. But I couldn’t close my mind to it.

It was talking to me all the time.

“Okay,” I thought, “this is it. I’ve finally gone over the edge. Fallen into the deep end. Cracked. I’m hearing voices. That’s a bad sign. Right?”

For days, even weeks, I was disoriented, even afraid, as answers came in my sleeping and waking life – sometimes through words, sometimes through wordless knowing, sometimes through dreams. Lions, and hills, and choices, metaphorical forks in metaphorical roads.

The weirdest thing was that these answers were not always to Grand Questions – sometimes it was the little ones.

One The Voice told me not to use words in my writing that my spell-check didn’t recognize. For a woman “who grew up on Greek” that was a large commandment indeed. But so seemingly mundane.

But there was one command that came back again and again. “Arise,” the voice said, “and go to the Holy Land!” Okay, maybe it didn’t use exactly those words. After all, God spoke through an angel, and angels have their own language.

I could never remember the actual voice of The Angel, or even attributes to it. I couldn’t remember if it spoke English, or whether it “spoke” in esoteric sounds or signs that went straight to some secret, undiscovered part of my brain, some biological Rosetta Stone designed for the translation of the language of suprahuman beings to comprehension by the merely human mind.

Regardless, The Angel commended it, and I had to listen. The Angel plagued me with it. Sooner or later, it was not just the fact that The Voice was taking to me, but that it was telling me, over and over again, to do something I had no previous intention of doing.

I was going mad. At least I thought I was. Until I recognized the actual truth of it all; by categorizing the experience of clairaudience to the realm of madness, I wasn’t walking my talk.

I was a Mystic. The history of my spiritual path is built on the foundation of clairaudience, built on the first-person relationship with It, with God. Built upon exactly the kind of directives that It – The Voice – was giving me.

At the exact moment I needed it most, I found words that gave me the message I needed to move out of fear and into action. To paraphrase Andrew Harvey (from the book The Direct Path), the only way to not go mad as enlightenment descends is to not get attached to miracles.

So God was talking to me. So what?

But it was still God, and when God says jump, the only possible answer for a person of faith is, “How high?”

In this case it was high.

The details of how I found an actual way to get to the Holy Land are details for another day, and the stories that lead to my path of Mysticism, also relevant, will have to wait for later.

This story is about how I found the way in my heart to answer God’s call without fear.

There are plenty of examples in our collective religious and spiritual histories of God asking the untenable. Of God asking for sacrifices so large that the may break body, or spirit.

I knew that the directive being given to me could possibly do either.

We are afraid, culturally afraid, of The Other. In our xenophobic blindness, we turn our eyes away from women shrouded with the cloth if Islam.  I was afraid of terrorists.

I was afraid of the war without end that rages in the Middle East, the war that our collective religious history holds as the war to end all wars.

In facing my fears, my resistance, I looked in many directions for answers that would lead my heart to the ability to enter into this without fear.

The answer was to relinquish my fear of death. This was one I thought I had sorted out already. Death didn’t scare me! But facing the perceived courting of it did.

The first personal saint I found in learning this was a man who had been martyred for his seeking of peace. Tom Fox, a member of a Christian Peacemaker Team, gave me the first words that started me on my path towards this step towards liberation.

Tom died in Fallujah, working as an on-the-ground humanitarian. After repeated threats by the extremists to leave the area, and repeated please from the people of Fallujah not to, he was kidnapped with the rest of his team.

Fox had recognized that his peace activities entailed possible danger. He had left instructions as to what should be done if he was kidnapped. “Under no circumstances did he want any violent efforts to rescue him,” Maulden said.
-The Washington Post

These are among the last words he left for his family, back at home in the US; “If I am ever called upon to make the ultimate sacrifice in love of enemy, I trust that God will give me the grace to do so.”

What else could I offer, than a prayer this deep?

The next saint that was sent my way was Saint Gerasimos. The story of this saint is Saint Gerasimos and Jordanes. The story is long, but the part that was most important to me at the time was this:

One day Saint Gerasimos was walking along the Jordan River. He heard a roaring, a howling. Following it, Gerasimos found a lion with a thorn in its paw.  With absolute love, Gerasimos walked up to the lion and removed the thorn, and bound the paw with cloth.

From this point on, the lion was devoted to Gerasimos. The rest of the story of Saint Gersaimos and the Lion (who eventually earned the name Jordanes) is lovely too, but this first part gave me the one tool I needed to enter into this journey fearlessly; to encounter any potential danger with absolute love.

And enter into it with love I did. I had found the “how”. My heart wide open, nearly to the point of breaking, I entered into a seemingly perilous land fearlessly.

But I was still completely unsure of the “why”.

Arab Cawe

The Arab cawe (coffee) is thick and bitter-sweet. Dark and steaming, I take a sip, sitting in the square in Bethlehem. I love this square. The vast expanse of worn marble in front of the church, the seats of carved stone.

When seated in front of the church, you see a mosque at the other end. This is a perfect image of my own journies in Palestine. I found Islam through Christ. Muhammad was not my first doorway.

It amazes me how marble feels alive, buttery, warm. The ancient marble holds stories. The living stone that has seen so much history unfold.

The marble seats that line the wall of the church in the square in Bethlehem hold memories for me now. Sitting for hours, watching Muslim girls and women walk by, Sheiks, Priests, street boys running in packs.

The world there feels more ancient. Architecture tells stories, and orchards of olive, fig and pomegranate trees hold ancient secrets in the crooks of branches, gnarled like an old man’s fist.

There is an image I saw in a shop in the hidden markets of Bethlehem – the places where only locals wend their way through shops offering cawe fresh ground, school uniforms, and the occasional gift shop.

The image; a photograph of an old Palestinian woman hugging an ancient olive tree that has been dismembered, with an Israeli jeep in the back ground. All that’s left of the tree is the trunk, and she’s holding onto it like it’s her dead lover.

Tears are streaming from the woman’s eyes, her face contorted in agony.

This image is not for sale. It is there as a reminder. A reminder of what’s been lost. A reminder of what’s being taken. A reminder that there are bulldozers tearing trees from the ground at this very moment.

And as always, the shop smells of cawe, and the owner asks us to sit, sit, enjoy a cup before you move on.

The scent of the coffee, the taste of it, tells stories. It calls to mind the poetry of Palestinian poet Mahmoud Darwish:
Here, where the hills slope before the sunset and the chasm of time
near gardens whose shades have been cast aside
we do what prisoners do
we do what the jobless do
we sow hope

You who stand in the doorway, come in,
Drink Arabic coffee with us
And you will sense that you are men like us
You who stand in the doorways of houses
Come out of our morningtimes,
We shall feel reassured to be
Men like you!

-State of Siege

The smell of Arab cawe calls to mind the Bedouin tents and shanties, the markets in Jerusalem, every home I entered in all my travels through the Arab lands, the Arabic tongue like music, rough and guttural, with melodic overtones.

It calls to mind a night spent in the courtyard of the only Mexican themed restaurant I saw in all of the Holy Land. My friends and I were sitting at a small table, coffee steaming in front of us.

At the next group of tables was a group of young Palestinians. They were obviously liberal, reformist. Young women sitting with young men, the hookah shared with ease in a way that older Palestinians do not posses.

But if they were liberal, so were we. I was a woman at a table of men. We were out sitting together, drinking together, talking politics.

There were other tables in the courtyard, quiet conversations echoing off the walls of the enclosed yard.

After urging from his comrades, a young man stands and recites. Everything but his voice falls silent, still. Not even a cup or bottle is raised to mouth. The hookah burns itself out.

I don’t understand Arabic with any fluency, but in my blood and bones I understand every word he says. I feel his meaning in my core. I don’t know how, but I recognize that it is Darwish’s words that stream with urgency from his lips. From his body. He is lost in the words, and we are lost in him.

He ends his recitation, and there is silence, then applause. Then requests called out from tables scattered around the small square we all share. We are lost in a moment purely poetic – not just in word, but in spirit, too.

He recites more Darwish. Then, in the next silence, he gives himself over to something new. Though I recognize nothing of the meter, I recognize the pain. It is his own; his own pain, his own poetry.

For bordering on an hour we sit still, rapt in a moment purely Arabic. A moment that lives in a culture that will still stop everything for a poet, for one who recites. A culture that holds the space for images and words that will someday stop the tanks, the jeeps, the suicide bombers.

Perhaps the pen is mightier than the sword. And an image, it is said, is worth a thousand words.

If these things are true, than someday – someday soon ensh’llah (God Willing) – these weapons that lead not to blood but to tears of understanding, a shared understanding of the human condition, these weapons that are tools, will win the war without end.

To Darwish, to the memory of him, to Palestine and those who love her,
To the Israelis and the Americans,
to the world, I offer this;

I invite you
to come inside
the sitting room
of my life

to smell the scent of the dirt that holds
the roots of jasmine
to smell the flower
to smell
the coffee brewing in the kitchen
strong, bitter, sweet
cardamom and sugar

(From Filistina, Ya Habibi – in memory of Darwish. Click here to read the rest of the poem.)

Send me the Sunset

I ask you to
send me Arab coffee
but i want to say
send
the coffee vendor
crooked teeth and gentle smile
who stands with burnished cart
at the far end of the square

I ask you to
send maramia
but i want you to
send me
the scent of water and wild weeds
at Solomon’s Pools

I plead
send me a
strong smelling, rosewood rosary
frankincense
and myrhh
zatar

but deeply,
I long to walk again
in the Arab markets
of Jerusalem
Bethlehem
Al-Khalil

send me the
sights and sounds of
markets beautiful, bustling
over-abundant with riches crafted
by hands that hold, remember
ancient arts

send me
the greetings
arab coffee
sweet and tangy tea
friendly haggling
and gifts of the heart

send me
tender goodbyes shared with
strangers
made friends, in a quiet,
endless quest
for peace

“When you return to America
Tell them we shared coffee at my table
Tell them, we are not monsters.”

I say to you,
send me peace bracelets
sewn in the
Palestinian manner
crafted of the colors of the
flag with no country

but my heart cries out
for a day full of the smiles
that greeted me on the road
between the arch
and the tree

I ask for artwork from the market
when what I long for
is the call of the muezzin
adhan echoing
off ageless hills
and stone

send me the
sacred moments
how you and i would pray
your forehead touching the ground
humility washing you clean
five times a day
(your devotion to Allah inflaming
my own devotions
to my nameless, faceless
god)

send me sweet memories
how
tears graced my cheeks
at sunset
grateful for one more day
standing on the soil
of that land

I want to ask

“Please, send me the sunset.”

In Memory of Mahmoud Darwish, 13 March 1941 – 9 August 2008

I wrote this piece on the day Mahmoud Darwish, Poet Laureate of Palestine, the voice of the Palestinian people, died. It is dedicated to him.

Filistina, Ya Habibi

(Palestine, My Beloved)

I invite you
to come inside
the sitting room
of my life

to smell the scent of the dirt that holds
the roots of jasmine
to smell the flower
to smell
the coffee brewing in the kitchen
strong, bitter, sweet
cardamom and sugar

I invite you
to dine with the ghosts there
all the poets
of an age gone by
breeze
is a breath
bone-chilling

listen
for the quiet keening
coming in through the shutters
as sun sets
on another shadowed, haloed day
these clouds you see gathered
they are dreams
resting out of reach

remind me who i am
as you
tell the stories of struggle
of a people
older than the dirt
that settles
on the concrete and rebar
of a thousand refugee camps

come have coffee at my table
and sing the old songs
the Jahili poetry
reminding us that
we had stories
before this one
we had stories
long before this one

the blood of my heart
spills on the soil
and feeds the fig trees
that have forgotten
not to grow

21*5*800 – Day 5 – The Stability of Fear

The Caryatid

(Today’s 21*5*800 post is harder to publish without serious revision. It’s deeply personal, and intimate, and may not make sense. None of those are things I love to publish without serious work, serious thought, and serious introspection.. But yesterday Bindu suggested we write on fear, so here it is. Raw and wild, as fear often is.)

Sometimes I wonder what I’m most afraid of. Direction, or directionlessness? Madness, or stability?

In answering this question, some background is in order. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder nearly a decade ago. That diagnosis at once made my life more understandable – the unexplained acting out, risk taking, bursts of uncontrollable emotion – and made it less tenable.

I knew for years before I was actually diagnosed with bipolar disorder that my other diagnosis were inaccurate. Depression. Yes, I experienced depression. Deep depression. The kind that makes you think of death as the easy option. No fear there – just great desire for the suffering to cease.

But when you take those feelings of futility and mix them with the risk taking inherent in bipolar disorder, you end up with a dangerous cocktail of a lack of will to live, and a lack of fear.

Years of refusal for further diagnosis, years of riding the waves, from wipe-out to crest, and back again. I was surfing my own madness. Again, I wouldn’t say fear was the largest part of the picture.

I guarded myself – those moments of complete meltdown hidden in a cave-like retreat into anything other than the life I was living. The only fear I had was being perceived as vulnerable – because in a life where risk-taking does not equate fear, but excitement and a sense of being alive, vulnerability can be the most dangerous of states of being.

I learned the hard way to hide my vulnerability. To escape from it. My depression always felt so egocentric, that when I felt it coming on, I took flight. Just me and my truck, a safe place to curl into a ball, to court death like it was a lover, to see the edge and walk over it again and again.

Sometimes I’m amazed I survived those years. I hardened myself, manifesting a psychic armor impenetrable, once I learned where sharing my darkest moments could lead. And by the grace of God, in all my stupidly risky behaviours, never hurt myself too badly, and never caused consequences I couldn’t – with ethics intact – find my way out of.

Sure, I crushed some hearts along the way, but I chart that up to youthful ignorance – or innocence – as much as a symptom of my disorder.

It took years even after my diagnosis to realize that my manic states were even more egocentric than my depressed ones. When you’re high on the chemical cocktail that is mania, nothing is impossible. Fear becomes nothing but a challenge, and over-coming it a game.

After diagnosis, my first fear manifested as guilt. I had had two children, and my father was severely manic depressive, and how could I be sure that my children would not end up with the same disorder?

I couldn’t be. And the weight of this truth, this reality, this realization crushed my soul. I felt like a Caryatid holding the weight of the architecture of my life on my head, still trying to stand tall, trying to hold it all up, while the weight compressed my spine, capped the lid on my emotions.

I knew before my diagnosis that I was bipolar. I could see the patterns that my father exhibited while I was growing up mirrored with increasing accuracy in my own life.

But the diagnosis, while making sense of my earlier and ongoing symptoms, was not enough to make me change my relationship with my disorder in a truly responsible way.

When I was depressed – and I mean really depressed – I would seek treatment. I’d go on an antidepressant, try other meds, and always end up at the same conclusion. Wellbutrin was my Super Man pill. It was mania in a bottle. With weeks or months I’d be flying high on the sweet winds of possibility – and then from there, jumping feet first into my ability to save the world from villains, jump buildings in a single bound.

In mania, all was forgotten, all was forgiven. And in the forgetting, things were overlooked. I never bailed on my children in an irresponsible way, but I built my career (a deck of cards, as anyone knows who’s gone out on that limb of creative manifestation. Or perhaps a high-wire act, with no net) and threw myself into. It working sometimes 17 hour days, touring and teaching, achieving and achieving.

I wrote a book, built a modest yet committed following, made some money practicing “right livlihood”….

And leaving my babies behind for weeks at a time to be parented by their father.

Again back to guilt.

Nine years post-diagnosis, I have found fear. One marriage down, years of risky behaviour under my belt, and the realization that I only have this one chance to make it right with my kids, and the additional incentive of being in a relationship I am committed to creating as a life-long reality, I have found enough fear to motivate me to change my pattern.

The cost of mania was too high a price to pay, and it’s true that my deep depressions may sooner or later have truly caused some serious damage to myself and my family.

So for the first time I went on a mood-stabilizer.

Now fear is a path I navigate with consciousness, sometimes to the point of hyper-vigilance.

Though more stable than I have ever been, this path of balance is bordered on all sides by fear. Girded by it. When I feel happy, I get afraid that I might be getting manic. When I get sad I fear that I’m getting depressed. When I get ready to try new things, or pass out of my comfort-zone, I get afraid that I will be destabilized, and have to start over with building this house of safety, constructed by constriction.

I get afraid that I will never again have the fearless drive that allowed me to write and publish my first book. I get afraid that I will never again feel the painless one-pointedness (clinically known as hyper-focus) that allowed me to make a living doing what I love. I get afraid that I will never feel safe riding my edges or spreading my wings.

I get afraid that fear of fear itself may smother me.

When seeing these words, even I wonder if the cure is worse than the disease.

But in the day-to-day, I see the positive results of my perhaps self-limiting choices. Perhaps when limits are without horizon, and tight-wire balance is a walk in the park, self-limitation is exactly what’s called for.

The rewards of fear are something I have undervalued for years – or perhaps discounted altogether.

My fear-turned-conscious is what allows me to stay present in my daily life. To slay the demons that arise; the ones that make me more important that the rest of my life – when really, what am I without that rounding out, that grounding in, the life I’ve chosen.

I chose to be a mother. To be a wife. To be a participant in the co-creative endeavor that is family.

Today, this is what I know; fear is a tool, if you just hold it right.

21*5*800, Day 4 – The Presence of Devotion, The Devotion of Presence

Today you will have to go over to elephant journal and read The Presence of Devotion, The Devotion of Presence for my 800 words.

I feel slightly like I cheated today, though I probably wrote (and unwrote) 800 words anyway. Somehow editing doesn’t seem to count as writing for me, which is silly, since as you will see if you read yesterday’s piece, There is a balance between living and dreaming this is a totally different piece.

Now I gotta run, or at least walk, over to the mat and get my asana on!

Enjoy your day, and I look forward to your comments at elephant.

21*5*800 Day 3-There is a balance between dreaming and living

Here is today’s writing. It’s become the basis for my weekly column at elephant journal. Tomorrow I’ll post the edited version, titled The Presence of Devotion – Dilemas of a Householder II, at ele. But in the spirit of my commitment to post my writing for this experiment daily (or mostly daily), here is the raw material!

There is a balance between dreaming and living.

When I say dreaming, I mean dreaming as in desiring. Dreaming, as in reaching towards a future outcome.

We may dream of journies, of moving, dream of making more money, dream of the harvest, dream of what tomorrow, next week, next month, next year may bring.

You often hear that you should reach for your dreams, but what about when reaching for becomes chasing after?

Dreams exist outside of this moment. Dreams so easily become attachments. And attachments are the source of suffering.

Living is about being present, though it is not possible for most of us to live in full presence all of the time. Sometimes we need to plan, to construct futures that we can work towards, momentum towards a goal, or even just the planning that makes daily life run smoothly.

There was a time in my life when I was so strongly desiring the ability to be in perfect presence all the time – that sense of being fully empty, fully subsumed, fully at one with the Itness that is everywhere present and nowhere localized*, whether you call It Brahman, God, Allah, nirvana, liberation.

The desire for the subsumation into absolute nondualist presence was the greatest pain I had ever felt.

In my mind found myself struggling with the choices I had made. “If only I were a Sadhu,” I thought. “Then I could give myself over, cease the thinking, the planning. I could give myself fully to presence. Constantly allow for the sweet surrender that is the great Union.”

But that was not the choice I had made in building my life. I had two children to attend to. A husband. A career. I had deadlines to keep, money to make, children to care for, love, and support.

For months the ache of longing and the confusion caused by my desre for presence was like a sword in my heart. The pain of separation was searing; almost unbearable.

But I had made my choices about how I was to spend my life; once a mother, always a mother. I could have left my career, I could have left my home, I could have left my husband. (As a matter of fact, the leaving of my husband – now ex-husband – was already in the works.)

But I could never leave my children.

And my love for them felt, I am almost guilty to admit, like a loadstone around my neck, heavy as an anchor, and pointing in the only direction I could go; nowhere.

Finally I began asking, “What is presence? How do I stay present in love? How can I be committed and present at the same time?”

The question rolled around my mouth in wordless curls. It ricocheted in my mind. It bounced and bounded, banged against the edges of my self.

After weeks of weighty rumination, after hours of sitting on my zafu, after what felt like gallons of tears, and after surrendering fully to the burning pain of separation, I broke through the koan that had formed itself inside of me. In a moment of realization, the answer arrived, fully formed and lotus-like.

Love is not attachment. Attachment is not love. Attachment are the expectations and responsibilities that that we so often mistake as love.

But true love – actual, fully realized love – is not these things. Actual love is presence.

The question became the answer; “how can I be present in love” became, “love is presence.”

The act of love as a sacred offering is presence. When we fall out of presence and into desire, into lack, into attachment, we fall out of love.

Love is devotion; but devotion void of any expectation. No expectation of return, of outcome, of reward.

Actual love, absolute love, is showing up to my relationship with my children, my husband (yes, I found The One and married again), my life in the fullness with which I show up to my relationship with the divine.

Because, after all, they are the same.

While the path of the sadhu may be (or at least seem) an easier one for the purpose of total devotion to God, the path of the Householder is a practice that puts the rubber to the road.

How do we stay present in love? By devoting ourselves to those we serve, as if they were God Itself. Because they are. How do we stay present in that love? By staying present in our devotion to God Itself.

Presence is where you are right now. Presence is not always bliss. Sometimes presence is painful, dirty, messy, desperate, confusing. But each of these states has equal potential for true presence.

Many of us get caught in the trap of thinking of presence as bliss. Presence as subsumation. Presence as emptiness.

But presence is merely a turning of the mind toward What Is. And in the path of householding, “What Is” is loving without expectation. Loving without desire for something other than the fulfillment that this moment of full presence offers.

21*5*800, Day 2: This is how the world ends…

(Read about the 21*5*800 challenge here.)
Today’s exercise began as “What to do when the world is ending…” and ended up being “This is how the world ends…” It’s not finished, and never will be; a creative expression of my own overwhelm at the state of Things As They Are…and my own eternal and present solution to the overwhelm and pain. Read if you like. Comment if you will.

What to do when the world is ending…
crouch under a table, cover your head, shield your eyes.

What to do when the world is ending…
point a finger in blame, hang our heads in shame, cry.

What to do when the world is ending…

Keep on living.

Trees grow from rock
flowers bloom in fields of concrete,
cracks revealing dirt,
sun, wind and rain converge to create, sustain, reinvent new life.

This is how the world ends…not with a bang, but a whimper

Or standing tall we
Reverse the order of things, finding a rhythm to the secret standards that fly
Wind borne
high above heads
that cower
The sky is falling, the sky is falling…

Raining thunder and crashing lightening,
this is the way the world begins
again

Towers crumbling
Cards face up on an ancient table

Ending
beginnings
beginnings endings by nature
a grand design
we forgot somewhere along the way

Dark night
Is the only way to get
To day

A new world
a new realization
a new song
to sing
a new story

About worlds ending, worlds beginning, crumbling, cracks, fissures
all a home to things that fly

There are rumours of peace
whispering
in winds of
damage showered upon
nations without flags
Freedom flotlillas
the victims of
premeditated
piracy

This is how the world begins
not with a whisper, but with a bang.

I heard the news today
that a 19 year old was among those shot on the flotilla
bringing supplies to Gaza.
(Not that it should matter, but he was also an American citizen.)

And yet, no outcry
from a government afraid of losing
a foothold in a nation half a world away.

We are allied with the aggressor,
oppressor,
a million lives lost to unending piracy
no man is an island.

We are the aggressor,
oppressor,
we are the oppressed.

Tired of a million years of war
you think we’d learn to lay down the weapons
sit at the table
learn how to use our words
learn how to talk.

If the pen is mightier than the sword
than why are we not a world united by
words of peace written
in the blood of a million martyrs
from a million wars
for a million causes
all freedom fighters
all seeking liberation
all allied and aligned with some
higher purpose

a million bloody years, a million bloody wars, millions upon millions of wounded, dead and dying

and we are all dying
a million little deaths

the space between me and that
an illusion, a trick of smoke and mirrors
we’re all earth in the end, or air, or ash.

There is no end to a
cell that divides
divines

A new future built in the cracks and fissures
a million broken bodies fertilizing a resurrection
seed taking root in the cracks

Today I saw footage of the brown pelican, of fish, of reeds and soil soaked in oil,

This is how the world ends
Not in a bang
But in a spill, a slick, a gush, a geyser

Moment by moment fewer species
swimming in the gulf

This is how the world begins
night leading to day
every morning, every moment a new place to stand

I read the news today, about a million reasons we can’t change the way we live quickly enough
The sky is falling
or rather, it’s opening up

A crack, a fissure, wide enough to let the sunlight in
like never before

A million dinosaurs can’t be wrong
bleeding their seasoned blood into
a million tankers

We cut the trees
and the rain stopped falling.
what will happen when we have bled the earth dry
substrata rubbing roughly
rock against rock
dry, chaffing, no lubrication

I read the news today and saw the carnage.

Choose your battles, cries an overburdened mind bent on
saving the world.

What’s a bodhisattva to do when
a million sources of pain pour in,
pain pooling in a heart
dedicated to liberation

like a million freedom fighters

This is how the world begins;
a heart choosing
to feel the pain and love anyway
to pick up the pen and write
a new story

What is there left
when we realize that all the work that has been done never outweighs the work there is to do
like a river breaking through a dam,
healing or pain?

Farms downstream washed away, lives erased by millions of gallons of water
yet for the fish that finally swims free, there is liberation
in a dam breaking

There is nothing to hold on to
water rushing past
the choice is simple

This is how the world
ends
how it
Begins
every moment a choice
to do no harm

There is no choosing
there is only presence
samscara released in liberation
an eternal letting go

This is how the world ends;
attachment ceasing
into presence.

21*5*800, Day 1 – Practice Makes Presence

Road of Gold - Sun on Water

(Read about the 21*5*800 challenge here.)

Practice is called practice for a reason. We never reach the end of it. There is no end point to practice.

When we apply the word practice to spiritual pursuit, it can tend to gain some onerous weight, like there’s some goal to be reached. Some final gate to walk through. Some level of attainment we are supposed to achieve.

But when we take practice and apply it to the idea of a life-long pursuit, perhaps it makes more sense. Artistic creation requires practice. Long hours at the cello, in front of the canvas, at the keyboard.

Practice never does make perfect, and any illusion that it has is just an excuse to give up growth.

The same applies to healing. There is no “healed” – no golden moment of all our sins being washed away, of complete and permanent peace.

If we are lucky, we may find that peace, complete and perfect, though transitory, in moments of insight, meditation, prayerfulness, presence.

Sitting on a rock outcropping overlooking the Kinneret – the Sea of Galilee, I had one such moment. It was my birthday, and I was in the Holy Land.

(Yes all land is holy, but calling the Holy Land by this name is not inaccurate, and is the most politic way I can refer to the region that is comprised of Israel and Palestine, the war torn region plagued by broken hearts and broken lives on both sides of the ever-moving “green line”.)

Back to the rock out cropping. It was early dawn, and I had left the beaten path, encountered animals alien to me, let my heart overcome fear of walking in the gloaming hours through unknown territory, literally crawled trough brambled bushes and found footing on unsure soil to find this perfect place to greet the sun on the day of my birth.

It wasn’t a special year, just a special day. No decade marker, just the year I happened to respond a divine calling and left for a foreign land by the grace of a God I had a growing relationship with.

I found my special rock, this unknown destination, and prayed while the sun rose over Golan Heights. Light spilled, a cascade of gold filling a perfectly clear day in late May. As it hit the water below and in front of me, it became a golden road spreading in front of me. A road to nowhere, and road with no end, a road to the center.

I dropped into prayer, and asked “What next? What do you want from me next?” All of a sudden there was no next. There was only the road, and me, and where I was on it, with infinite possibility in front of me. I began crying gently, tears rolling down my cheeks. I knew I was already taking every step in perfect grace. That the steps I had taken already had lead me to this divine moment. That there was nothing more called for then perfect faith.

I settled into the awareness of total presence. Or rather, came present to total awareness. I held God holding me in the perfection of that moment.

And then realized I was also holding God. That the presence outside me was inside me, too. That perfection was present in every cell, every atom activated with passionate presence. I was nothing separate. I felt myself ceasing into waves of bliss, the heart beat of the Kinneret, the heart of the dessert, my own heart beating. The air nothing other than my own body. I ceased completely, held by, and holding, and ceasing all at once.

Sometimes awareness of divine states can pull us out of them. But this time was different. I stayed present in the echoing God that was not separate from my own being. Completely secure, and fully dissolved, I was the universe in toto.

Not that it was all me. I became the drop in the ocean, ceasing to be a drop any longer. I was the ocean. The ocean was me.

Rumi talks of this state, using metaphors of sunlight, of water, of drunkenness.

When we break through longing and come present in what is, that is where the road to peace, for one solitary moment, eternal, ends. There is nowhere to go, we are already there. There is nothing to strive for; we are already all that is. There is no longing; we are already home in the beloved.

A Sufi sage, philosopher and theologian, whose name I can’t recall at the moment says God (Allah – the One God is one god), cannot be contained anywhere but in the heart of his “slave”, or to use an easier word, his devotee. The actual quote I will find and tack onto the end of this post. *

Once God has taken over our heart, there is no more longing.

Unfortunately, sooner or later, this state of grace, or at least our attention to it, wavers. We turn away from presence, lose contact, fall away for pure awakening, lose our home in the heart, our own heart, the heart of God.

And then we are reduced to words. Words that will never offer the truth of an experience that is mysterious, the destination that is not a destination out of reach of translation.

There are places where words fall short.

* “My heaven containeth Me not, nor My earth, but the heart of My faithful servant doth contain me.” The Holy Quran, as quoted by Seyyed Hossein Nasr

21*5*800; Community Event STARTS TOMORROW, June 8.

21*5*800; 21 days, yoga five days a week, writing 800 words a day. STARTS TOMORROW, June 8.Perfect timing for me!

Join in a community endeavor designed for the writing yogi/ni, the writer who wants to do more yoga, or the yogi who wants to do more writing.

It’ll be easier than you think. Here’s the low down from Bindu:

THE WRITING: The writing can be ANYTHING. Memoir, blogs, business plans, essays, fiction, free-writing, letters,……..ANYTHING. The point is to get writing again daily and to have the boundaries and challenge of a daily word count to reach.

THE YOGA: There are several options for you to do the yoga portion of 21.5.800 5 times in 7 days.  Here are the options: 1. Go to a yoga class in your ‘hood. 2. Do a yoga dvd at home. 3. Take a 20-40 minute savasana

I’m joining. You?

I will be posting my 800 words daily. (Unless they get too strange, personal, topical, or something else.) But believe you me, I will be writing 800 words a day.

Comment on my blog entries, and I’ll comment on yours! :)

Sheikh Bukhari, man of peace, laid to rest in Jerusalem at age of 61

Sheikh Bukhari“Sufi sheikh who preached nonviolence laid to rest”…may his spirit guide us still.

One of the sweetest men I have ever met, a man I am grateful to have had the occasion to learn from and work with (for far too short a time), a man of peace and true heart, has passed on. I pray there is someone who can and will gracefully step into the spot his death leaves open.

But it is an opening in the hearts of …many, and in a political and spiritual terrain that is difficult to navigate. A true sage, Sheik Bukhari will move onto to his next place with peace. As he said, his bags were already packed for this journey. May his heart beat chant of “Allah, Allah, Allah…” (“God, God, God…”) live on in the eternity of spirit.

May the teachings of Sheik Bukhari continue to lead us toward peace.

Read an excellent piece on Sheikh Bukhari here.

REVIEW: Art, Visual and Written, Aman Mojadidi

Self Titled #2The visual and written work of Aman Mojadidi is head and heart provoking. A bold vision and voice that brings conflict, global and personal, back home to the “I” through the transpersonal and interpersonal. May it break hearts open. Perhaps life will find hold in the fissures left behind.

If nothing else, be sure to read Mojadidi’s artist statement. And you can find a few of Mojadid’s works at the following links:

Survival Kit

The Caged Culture Won’t Sing

Conflict Bling

My 39th Birthday!

A year is a measure of time between two points. The day that anniversary marks is by nature both an ending and beginning.

Birthdays have had gravity for me for many years. My own personal “new year” – I take inventory, whether I want to or not. What have I done to better myself? What have I done to better the world? What significant moments have come to pass in the sat year? What do I want more of in the year to come.

My daily to-do list for the coming year:
1. Love yourself.
2. Love your life.
3. Love your kids.
4. Love your man.
5. Meditate, pray, give it over when it’s time.
6. Stay healthy – yoga, Pilates, running, eating right, sleeping right, all that stuff!
7. Stay creative in all things.
8. Never lose your sense of purpose. Stated more positively, remember your sense of self, and your mission.
9. Be gentle when you can’t do it all.

Remember when you were 7 and a half? 9 and a quarter? I’ve turned 39. Now, I head gently into my 40th year.

Tomorrow I will be 39 plus one day. I plan on making every day between here and the day – 365 from now – that I get to crown myself with the decade marker of 40 years breathing on my own, count.

Getting the Relationship You Want

love1. Be yourself, and represent yourself truly and fully. If you don’t, you’ll be getting into a relationship with someone who thinks they’re getting into a relationship with someone other than the real you! Not a good start to a relationship that you may want to be a lifelong thing, right?

Show up as who you are. It’s the only way to find the one you want; the one who really wants you.

2. Know what you want, and settle only for someone that blows that list to the wind.
Make sure the relationship you’re getting into fulfills many of the “required” elements. Be easy with the items that are not deal breakers. And even with a few of the hard core ones, sometimes.

3. Do things you like to do, and don’t do things you don’t like to do.
If you hate baseball and you go to a game to meet someone, it’s likely you’ll have to live with baseball for the rest of your life. If you go to the bar to meet someone and you don’t drink, same result.

If you love rock climbing and you go rock climbing and meet someone, or find a rock climbing group and find a buddy to climb with, presto, better fit from the start.

Other ideas for meeting potential partners; go to the park, go hiking, go bowling (it’s fun!), do whatever you love to do.

Having a hard time thinking of things? Write down a list.

4. Enjoy life. Be yourself. Trust yourself, and know that you’ll know when it’s right. Have faith. Magnetize the Right One by radiating the love you seek.

Be open minded; maybe it really is this simple.

How to Grow a Grateful World: Three Steps to Engaged Gratitude

seedlingDo you want more gratitude in your life? If so, cultivate it! This article will give you tools that allow you to take an active part in creating a more grateful world.

As AJ Muste, a committed nonviolent peace activist said, “There is no way to peace. Peace is the way.” The more we practice peace, the more peace becomes our lives. Just like peace, we can live in gratitude every moment.

Even in the midst of intense conflict, we can be cultivate gratitude.

The best ways to create gratitude in your experience of the world – in your world, your home, your life, your heart – is to practice, invest in, and engage with it. In addition to a host of physical health benefits from stress relief to heart health, recent studies prove that gratitude decreases both depression and loneliness.

Gratitude can also become a path of service that leads to acts that benefit humanity. Grow gratitude, and offer future generations a more beautiful world.

Grow Your Gratitude, in Three Steps:

1: Invoke and Embody Gratitude

Make gratitude real in this moment. Create gratitude in your very core.

Gratitude practice, asking powerful questions, inducing positive states, prayer and meditation are all ways to invoke gratitude. So is looking at your child, or your beloved. So is smelling a flower, or looking at your favorite piece of art. For some of us, listening to music, dancing, or running is an easy way to find the way to the gratitude nested inside of us.

With a little bit of practice, or for some even without, wherever we are, whatever we’re doing, we can invoke and embody the presence of gratitude.

Love can be a powerful doorway to gratitude. For now, an easy way to manifest the presence of gratitude is to think of something that makes you feel a love beyond limits, unconditional, eternal. The perfect love.

You may find this love at the heart of deep prayer, in the arms of your beloved, sharing a smile with your child.

Feel it. Breathe it in. And out. Ahhhh. There it is. Now feel it even more. Let your heart, your whole being, glow with this love, and allow it to grow into a full sense of gratitude.

Let each breath expand it, each heartbeat ground it in your being.

2: Grow Your Gratitude!
Gratitude heals the heart. This is true on multiple levels. Of course it makes sense on the metaphorical level – how could becoming grateful NOT heal a broken heart?

When we experience loss, healing comes from realizing that the sum total of the impact of any experience was for the best. When we get this, it becomes easy to be grateful for the experiences we encounter.

In addition to the metaphorical, gratitude also heals the actual physiology of your heart. This is metaphorically wonderful, and scientifically true! Gratitude practice is recommended as part of many heart surgery and heart disease recovery programs.

How does it work? Gratitude is the antidote for stress, anger, anxiety and many other ills. Stress, of course, is a huge contributor to both heart disease and heart attack.

Gratitude offers a rest to our physiological systems. For instance, say you’re standing in line at the grocery store, and the people in front of you are taking forever. You may be late getting to wherever you’re going, but is stressing out about it going to change the fact that you’re stuck in line? Not a chance!

The one thing you CAN change is how you are experiencing the moment. So, instead of obsessing about your situation, thinking of the negative outcomes, or giving in to the stress, take the time as an opportunity to cultivate gratitude.

Even starting small will work. You can be grateful that you have the money to buy food. You can be grateful that you have a chance to read those scintillating headlines on the trashy mags in the rack.

I often get really simple with it, and remember to be grateful that I have a moment to be in stillness and silence. Waiting in line is a perfect opportunity for a moment of standing meditation.

This choice is affecting you, and as a true believer in systems theory, I posit that perhaps, in some subtle way, it affects everything. Your stress is not just your stress.

Your gratitude is the same way. As you choose relaxation and gratitude instead of stress, the effect ripples outward. Your interaction with the cashier is going to be different. His or her interaction with the next person in line may well be different, too.

Even on the purely personal level, the benefits are too many to mention. Gratitude is SO much nicer to hold in our physical systems than the alternative.

Another wonderful bonus is that because our minds sort for, and we notice, that which we expect, when we start practicing gratitude, we start noticing more and more to be grateful for.

Gratitude practice, just like any other practice, becomes easier the more you do it!

3: Make Love a Verb; Gratitude in Action!
Love and gratitude become more powerful by far when put into engaged action. Engagement is the final step of this process. Take your gratitude and DO something with it.

That something might be sitting in prayer, sitting in community, sitting in silence. But think of how much more prayer you’d bring if you were to host group prayer nights at your home. Consider how much more gratitude you’d bring to your community through a shared gathering.

When you find gratitude for the food on your table, let it remind you that you can reduce suffering in the world by offering food to those in need. Make a meal, box it up, and offer it to a local homeless person you’ve seen around.

While you’re at it, have a conversation with this person.

At a Season for Nonviolence gathering I attended in 2007, Dr. Arun Gandhi, the great, great grandson of the Mahatma, pointed out that compassion is very different from pity. I paraphrase the esteemed man here:

“Pity offers the food and hopes the person will walk away with it. Compassion offers the food, asks the person how they ended up on the streets, witnesses the story, and does it’s part to cause an end to the reasons that this person and others end up without.”

In gratitude, I leave you with his words, and hope they echo through your world.

An Empowerment for Presence: Change Your Mind, Change the World

Doorway to LightThe world is what you make it. The Buddha is credited with this quote:

“We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world.”

Consider how you are making your world – what thoughts are building what outcomes in your life?

If you can change how you think, you can change what you experience. There are any number of possible realities available in any given moment. Vantage, your position within and in relation to the rest of existence, counts for a lot.

What if you were to stand in a different position, look in a new direction? We are limited, grounded, by our perspective. On a physiological level, we can only see what’s in our field of vision. And even then, we only truly see parts of the picture. Much of what we “see” is generated by what our mind thinks should fill in the blanks.

The same thing happens with our minds. We see what we’re looking at. So, change your perspective. Change your frame. Change your mind. And watch the world change with you.

A Meditation on Peace, and the Prayer of Saint Francis

Saint FrancisPrayer of Saint Francis
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy;

O Divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

A Meditation for Presence: Be Peace
The words offered up by Saint Francis present a powerful opportunity to create the world – by being in the world the way we want the world to be.

When we plant a seed, we offer the world the plant, and we also get to watch it grow. When we are the germinal point for light and love, we are, without fail, surrounded by it.

Plant seeds of hope, seeds of peace, seeds of joy. Become the beacon of your own offering – offer peace, and find yourself enveloped by it. Offer forgiveness, and find yourself forgiven. Offer love, and find yourself surrounded by it.

Moms and Self Care; Do it For Those You Love

Fit Mom with babyAs a mom, sometimes the most perfect intentions for self love and self care fall short of reality. You have a very full life, and it’s often a challenge to find the “extra” time to build in those moments of self-nurturing.

Resistance may be deeper than it even looks at first, too. When you first start taking your self care seriously, you may find excuse after excuse that allows you to not follow through on your commitments.

Your desire for self care may end up doing battle with your self-worth. And you may have no idea how strong your resistance is until you put your self-care goals into action.

But as you realize the impact that your behavior has on the world around you, you’re bound to take your self-care more and more seriously.

So get out there; take a run at the lake. Take a hike in the woods. Take a walk on the beach. Get a membership at your local gym and work those muscles into shape.

Remember that you’re practicing self-care not only for yourself, but also because you want to offer your best self, you whole self, to your family and the world.

You also want your children to see that it’s their right, and their responsibility, to take good care of themselves, too.

Our children will emulate what we do, and who we are. So if you can’t do it for yourself, do it for those you love. Help your children grow beautifully into their strength.

The best thing you can do to create that outcome is to model it from where you stand. Or, as the case may be, from where you run!

Thank You Constance McMillen; A Victory for One is a Victory for All!

The good news of the week; Constance McMillen, the young woman whose request to wear a tuxedo and take her girlfriend to her senior prom was denied, has won a hearing about the violation of her First Constance McMillenAmendment rights; the right to freedom of speech.

McMillen’s family has been amongst some of her strongest supports in this time of struggle, but others who have championed McMillen’s cause have been – of course – the ACLU, Ellen Degenres, many other high-profile celebs, hundreds or thousands of supporters who have joined together on a facebook fan page, and many who have written, blogged, and spoken out about the plight that Constance – and many others who have not had the where-with-all to raise their voices – have suffered.

McMillen has a become a true hero of our times in being willing to champion this case through. Her victory is a victory for all in the momentum of the movement towards equality.

Thank you, Constance McMillen, for being a strong voice speaking with certainty and reason.

Outrageous Roots and a Bright Future; Sex and Feminism

Reprinted from Gauntlet Magazine, 1999, edited 10/2008, very partial edit, 3/2010, edit, 3/25/2010Victoria Claflin Woodhull, mrs. satan

Neo-Feminism:

I call myself a neo-feminist rather than a post-feminist. Post-feminist implies that feminism may indeed be dead, as was the cultural myth for a while (still under debate?) whereas the term neo-feminist illustrates that the movement is vital, alive, evolving.

The term post-feminist gives the impression, however subtle, that there is nothing of feminism to save. To the contrary; there is not just one legacy of feminism to own, but many. Even the “Radical Feminism” of the ‘70s has left us with growth to salvage. Yes, with many attitudes to discard as well. But let’s not call it a waste of time.

It has never been easy to be a trail-blazer. There is a lot of self doubt, and the need for an almost religious fervor.

Our Roots: The Marginalized Feminist Legacy

Victoria Claflin Woodhull

One of the least remembered yet most astounding feminists of all time, Victoria Claflin Woodhull was the first woman to run for the Presidency of the United States of America. In the election of 1872, nearly 50 years before women even had the vote and generations ahead of her time, Ms. Woodhull ran a Presidential campaign with a male Vice-Presidential running mate.

In 1870 she announced her campaign. This excerpt is from a notice placed in the Herald:

While others of my sex devoted themselves to a crusade against the laws that shackle the women of the country, I asserted my individual independence…While others sought to show that there was no valid reason why a woman should be treated…as a being inferior to man, I boldly entered the arena of politics and business and exercised the rights I already possessed. I therefore claim the right to speak for the unenfranchised women of the country and…I now announce myself as a candidate for the Presidency.
Victoria Claflin Woodhull, from Barbara Goldsmith’s Other Powers, pp. 212

With her sister Tennessee Claflin Victoria ran an investment firm on Wall Street, and together they published a newspaper that caused much ruckus. Ms. Woodhull was a strong pro-sex feminist, and was vilified in the media of the day, even to the extent of being titled “Mrs. Satan” in a political cartoon. This was in 1872. Victoria Claflin Woodhull was a suffragist, a firm believer in equality of the sexes, and a champion of “free love.”

“Of all the radical ideas then current, free love was the most controversial. It represented the ultimate expression of female liberation and profoundly threatened a male-dominated society.”
Barbara Goldsmith, Other Powers, pp. 139

Victoria, after a somewhat brief yet intensely tumultuous rise to the forefront of the women’s movement, was shunned and abandoned by her community. She ended her days a “proper matron” in England.

Emma Goldman

On the heels of Victoria, Emma Goldman gained notoriety. “Red Emma” as she was called (regardless of the fact that she was not a member of the communist party) is one of the most famous anarchists in American History. Like Ms. Woodhull, Ms. Goldman was also devoted to free love, and to the right of women to control their own fertility and destiny.
At the tender age of 20, Emma was the survivor of a miserably failed marriage. Already disillusioned, she claimed her freedom from that time forth.

“…I had seen enough of the horrors of married life in my own home. Father’s harsh treatment of mother, the constant wrangles and and bitter scenes that ended in mother’s fainting spells…Together with my own marital experiences they had convinced me that binding people for life was wrong…
“If ever I love a man again, I will give myself to him without being bound by the rabbi or the law,” I declared, “and when that love dies, I will leave without permission.”
Living My Life, Emma Goldman, pp. 36

The year was 1887. Though Emma did marry again, she also divorced again. She stayed true to her vow of freedom, loved honestly, passionately, and often. On occasion, she took more than one lover concurrently.

Emma did not claim feminism as her battle; she was viciously devoted to equal rights for all. In her autobiography she wrote:

“…I was invited (to speak) by the Women’s City Club. Five hundred members of my sex, from the deepest red to the dullest grey, came to hear me speak on “Feminism.” They could not excuse my critical attitude towards the bombastic and impossible claims of the suffragists as to the wonderful things they would do when they got political power. They branded me as an enemy of women’s freedom, and club-members stood up and denounced me.
The incident reminded me of a similar occasion when I had lectured on woman’s inhumanity to man. Always on the side of the under dog, I resented my sex’s placing every evil at the door of the male. I pointed out that if he were really as great a sinner as he was being painted by the ladies, woman shared the responsibility with him. The mother is the first influence in his life, the first to cultivate his conceit and self-importance… Woman is naturally perverse, I argued… she idolizes in him the very traits that help to enslave her — his strength, his egotism, and his exaggerated vanity. The inconsistencies of my sex keep the poor male dangling between the idol and the brute, the darling and the beast, the helpless child and the conqueror of the worlds. It is really woman’s inhumanity to man that makes him what he is. when she has learned to be as self-centered and as determined as he, when she gains the courage to delve into life as he does and pay the price for it, she will achieve her liberation, and incidentally help him become free. Whereupon my woman hearers would rise up against me and cry: “You’re a man’s woman and not one of us.”
Living My Life, Emma Goldman, pp. 556-557

Emma was an anarchist and a humanist. Aside from her ceaseless crusading for freedom for all, she worked as a nurse and midwife to the poor in New York. She was arrested for a great many things in her life. Among her offenses was providing birth control supplies and advice to poverty stricken women, and lecturing openly on the same issues while the Comstock Law was in effect. Ms. Goldman was deported to Russia in 1919 for having opposed the military draft, along with 248 other Americans.

Margaret Sanger

In the book Herstory (edited by Ruth Ashby and Deborah Gore Ohrn), Margaret Sanger is hailed as the founder of “the American birth control movement.” She wrote articles about birth control, one of which was declared obscene under the Comstock Law.

Beginning in 1914 Ms. Sanger produced a newspaper called Woman Rebel that was devoted to the issue of birth control and sex education. For this, she was arrested. She left the country on the eve of her trial, and spent a year in Europe researching family planning methods used in other countries.

Upon her return to the states Sanger’s former charges were dropped. In 1916, in Brooklyn, New York, Ms. Sanger (with the assistance of her sister) opened the first birth control clinic in America. Margaret and her sister were arrested and charged with creating a “public nuisance.” The publicity helped Sanger’s cause, and eventually the law was changed in New York to allow doctors to offer birth control information for “the cure and prevention of disease.”

In 1921 Sanger organized the American Birth Control League, later known as the Planned Parenthood Federation of America. She worked tirelessly to overturn the Comstock Law, and devoted her life to establishing reproductive rights for women. By 1938 more than 80 birth control clinics were operating in the United States. In 1936 the Comstock Law was reinterpreted to allow for the mailing of contraceptives. By 1937 the American Medical Association recommended that contraception be taught in medical schools, and that birth control methods be researched.

After more than 50 years of devotion to her life-long cause, Margaret Sanger died of heart failure in an Arizona Nursing home. The year was 1960.

The Feminist Battle For Respect from the Mainstream

Every movement hits a point where there are internal battles over the best way to get recognition and respect, over how to be “taken seriously.” In the feminist movement this has over and over again culminated in the ostracization of whole groups of women. Each generation of feminism has had its bogey-woman, scape goat, “other” one. The message the movement has been trying to send out, wave after wave, is “We are not as bad as you think.” In the ‘70s and early ‘80s the delineating line was that lesbianism was not a feminist issue.

We all use examples of what we are not to define and illustrate what we are, and in this case, mainstream feminism wanted to be accepted by the middle class. Lesbianism was too “out there” of an issue to talk about without intimidating those who held dear the status quo.

Sharing my ideas about the second stage with the feminist network in Kansas City in April 1981, I was asked by a troubled sister: …”…why don’t you talk more about gay families?”…
“Because it twists the focus to sexual politics.” I said. “It gets mixed up with the reaction against the female role, and threatens people who feel sex should be private and are mixed up about it themselves…”
”But what about Lesbians?” she persisted.
“That’s sex,” I said, “not politics. Or it should be…”
Betty Friedan, The Second Stage, pp. 318-319

Lesbian needs are still fighting for a place at the feminist table. The lesbian movement, and I’m not just referring to the separatist movement, is still marginalized.
In the ‘90s the issue that has caused a major split in the feminist movement is the issue of Pornography, and even sex in general. This split is so pronounced that Katherine McKinnon, a well-known, strongly anti-porn feminists, refuses to speak at the same events — or even have writing presented in the same written works — as Nadine Strossen, former director of the ACLU and author of Defending Pornography.

“…This strategy is a consistent strategy of McKinnon and her allies. They want to convey the impression that they speak for all women, and more,…for all traditionally disempowered groups. Therefore they uniformly refuse to debate me, or other women who have different perspectives on these issues. “…McKinnon and some of her supporters also go much further in shirking an exchange of views with other women or women’s rights advocates, refusing even to appear at the same conference or participate in the same project with any who dare to express disagreement with them….
“Just a couple weeks ago I…happened to learn of one such incident. A professor at the University of Virginia…is writing a text book for colleges on various civil liberties issues, including the censorship of Pornography…He wanted to include excerpts from some of my writings and some of McKinnon’s. But when McKinnon heard that some of my printed words would, heaven forbid, be included in the same book as some of her printed words, she had a tantrum and she told (the professor) that he would have to choose; either her words or mine. He refused to withdraw my piece,… she therefore pulled hers..
“…(And) several years ago…the National Association of Women Judges…abruptly retracted a speaking engagement I had to address their National convention without telling me why…Through a series of coincidences I later discovered it was because McKinnon had also been invited to speak at the convention.
“I want to underscore that this was not set up as a debate between the two of us … but the problem from her perspective was even that both of us would be appearing — at different times, on different days — before the very same convention.
“…Once it came to light and was confirmed that that was indeed the reason why my invitation had been retracted — and investigative reporters shed the light on that — one of the organizing judges was quoted (in the New York Times) as saying “The general feeling was that McKinnon would be less than pleased to be on the program with Strossen, so we had no choice.”
Nadine Strossen, from her keynote address at the World Pornography Conference in Los Angeles, Aug. ‘98

Strossen also points out that the “McDworkin” agenda (named for Andrea Dworkin and Katherine McKinnon) goes beyond just the pornography issue. This anti-sex (“Victorian” in the words of Nina Hartly, Porn Star/feminist extroirdinaire) view of and response to sex has implications ranging far beyond the porn/censorship issue. In this radical/traditional sector of the feminist movement, sex has become an issue of rape, intercourse itself a metaphor for female inequality.

The Feminist Underground

The outlook has been not so good for feminism. Just last year Time magazine ran a front cover that trumpeted the question “Is Feminism Dead?” And a good many of us at times have felt ready to abandon the title, if not the fight. Yet that which adapts survives; a new feminism is alive and well in the sex-positive community. I have never met so many amazing women (and fewer, but just as refreshing, men) who are breathing vitality back into feminism in one place as I did at the World Pornography Conference, which took place August of ‘98 in Los Angeles.

I have also seen prime examples of this new and fearless form of feminism in other places; in the adult entertainment community, and also, perhaps especially, among younger women, who (inspired by heroes like Madonna, and even the Spice Girls) aren’t afraid of flaunting their sexuality, nor of defending themselves from unwanted responses. The younger generation “gets it” in a way that the older does not, perhaps cannot.

Just because someone is beautiful, doesn’t mean that they’re being beautiful for public consumption; just because someone is sexy doesn’t mean they’re on the market.
Aurelea Kaitlyn River, Green Egg Magazine, issue 131

I say fearless feminism, because this new feminist genre is based not in the propagation of the myth of victimization, the idea that all woman are victims, all sex (between a man and a woman) is rape, but in the true strength and liberation of being who we are, who we want to be. This new feminism does not disallow and disavow lipstick and bras, but encourages a creative mix of sexy and strong, saucy and strident.

In this generation we have new models of strength to look to for guidance. Madonna (to me, the quintessential icon of neo-feminism) is not only a physically strong beauty, she also is a strong business woman, and a single mother by choice.

Single motherhood, in and of itself, is a beacon of the changes in social structure. Much of the stigma of being a single mom has been done away with, at least in parts of America. Though leaving the comfort/stability of a partnership or having a child alone is rarely an easy choice to make, women now know that we can survive on our own, that it may be a better option than waiting for the “perfect partner,” and certainly better than staying in a bad relationship.

Additionally, there is a whole generation of young men who have been raised by feminist mothers with a mind for equality. The social aspects of the feminist movement have taken hold in an almost covert manner. Female heads of house and “bread winners” are not at all unusual at this time and in this place. The assumptions have changed, the rules have shifted, and women, though paid less, are just as often employed; at least at the entry level.

Each generation is born with a new set of expectations for social interaction. We have come a long way, as a nation of people striving for personal freedom. We stand upon the accumulated accomplishments of our fore-bearers, the trail-blazers who were (and are) not afraid to live in their personal freedoms, or to give the freedom of the moment up in exchange for a grander, more complete and true freedom for generations to come.

Winners of the Good Medicine Bath and Beauty Products Contest/Giveaway!


Claim your prize by posting here, and then writing a personal e-mail with your contact info to: ms.allen@lasaraallen.com. (Your contact info will be used only for shipping purposes and then discarded.) Remember; if you do not come back to claim your prize by midnight pacific time on March 24th to claim your prize it will be forfeit, and another winner will be chosen. Thank you!

One amazing, full size travel kit like the one above, valued at $125

# 1: Benjamin Hur! CONGRATS! (I’m envious!)
One set of seven Fairy Dust bath salts, valued at $32.

# 2: Benjamin Hur AGAIN – Enjoy, and than you for all your entries!
One container of Hydrating Eye Cream, valued at $38

# 3:  Lilithe
Muscle Balm, valued at $14

# 4: Tinnekke

Congrats!


AGAIN:
Claim your prize by posting here, and then writing a personal e-mail with your contact info to: ms.allen@lasaraallen.com. (Your contact info will be used only for shipping purposes and then discarded.) Remember; if you do not come back to claim your prize by midnight pacific time on March 24th to claim your prize it will be forfeit, and another winner will be chosen. Thank you!

Manifestation in Twelve (Sort Of Complex) Steps!

Spiral GalaxyManifesting is not always easy. Here are some tips that will help you through the days where it would be way too easy to give up hope. Manifestation is not a mystery; it’s a kind of technology or tool that one must learn to harness, and sometimes it just takes some work.

1. Desire + action = manifestation. Desire alone does not alter the case of a river. The universe does not usually move the course of the river on its own…it takes a bit of helpful trenching to create a new route. Trickle, then a gush, then a torrent.

Without action, manifestation will almost never follow. Manifestation requires work on your part.

Looking for the perfect job? Work on manifesting that job through all the tools of manifestation that you can acquire; prayer, visualization, mantras, dream boards, collage. AND, interview for every single job opening that looks like it might be the real deal!

Sometimes that perfect job (or relationship, or pile of money, or car) will just fall into your lap by pure magic. Usually you have to do your part to show the universe you’re committed enough to actually do or have the manifestation you are requesting.

2. Be specific in your request, but not TOO specific.

3. You need to know that your request can be fulfilled from any source – anywhere and any time.

4. You must have no reservations about what you ask for. This includes any feelings of lack of worthiness.

5. The delivery of your desires or requests must not be dependent in any way on any one person’s actions or responses.

6. If a block comes up to the manifestation, you need to reconsider the request. Don’t let doubt enter in, just use it as a recheck on your request. If doubt nags, perhaps it’s a message that you need to reconsider your desire or goal. Perhaps it’s a message that you’re heading in the wrong direction.

7. Know that NEED puts distance between you and your desired outcome. So reframe: instead of “I need a new car,” say, “It’s time for me to have (or manifest, or find, or whatever verb works for you) my perfect vehicle. Safe, reliable, and easy on the pocket,” or whatever your list is that creates “perfect” for you.

8. Have faith. Doubt on its own offers the opposite of the desired outcome. Like Lot looking over his shoulder when he doubted a divine promise and seeing his wife turn to a pillar of salt, your lack of trust erodes your own footing on your path toward your ideal end-point.

9. Remember that worrying is like praying for something you don’t want. I’m not sure who said that first, but it rings true. In other words, “We get what we expect, not what we desire.” – Chris Howard, a true modern day master.

10. Be aware that prayer helps, and practice it with passion. Pray to whomever works for you, but I personally have found Jesus to be particularly and peculiarly generous on the money count. :-) And in many other matters.

11. Let small miracles bolster your faith and commitment.

12. Practice gratitude for all your outcomes achieved. Every single one. Large, small, easy, challenging, make a prayer of gratitude each time the universe delivers on your request

Dress You Up in My Love Equality Prom – Everywhere!

Dress You Up In My Love is a nationwide equality celebration designed to protest the school in Mississippi that took action against Constance McMillan, the girl who wanted to take her girlfriend to the prom. Yes, it is 2010…but instead of allowing a tuxedoed young lesbian woman to attend the prom with her lovely beloved on her arm, her school canceled the fun for everyone. Can you believe it?

In response to this outrageous act, people are going to engage in some creatively outrageous activities of their own; formal wear everywhere! Says the press release:

“But I’ll look completely out of place and ridiculous. People don’t wear formal clothing every day.”

Exactly.

Wearing a tuxedo, suit, gown, or formal dress clothes to class, work, or grocery shopping IS out of the ordinary. And it’s going to draw attention and get some questions asked.

So, be outrageous! And courageous. Join what may be thousands of others in getting fancy while getting loud, supporting the out and proud, and joining in the equality movement. RSVP at facebook now!

Your Family is a Living System

tree at sunsetBodies communicate, moods, good or bad, are caught and transmitted like a virus. Like ripples in a pond, what you feel radiates out. Your happiness, your ease, your joy. Or, your stress, your fear, your anger. Every moment, you are modeling the creation of the world.

And, every moment, your children are building the foundation of their future on the present that is your breath and being.

“The solution to adult problems tomorrow depends in large measure upon how our children grow up today.”
- Margaret Mead, anthropologist, 1901-1976

In case of an emergency, secure your mask first…

The aeronautical term “Time of Useful Consciousness (TUC)” applies to the minutes of consciousness one has in a depressurized plane. It’s the basis of the warning to make sure your mask is secure, and then act to ensure the safety of those dependent upon you only after you yourself are safe.

Let’s face it; if you can’t breath, you’re not going to be much help to your kids, or the old folks sitting in aisle 14. You need to have your wits about you in an emergency situation. That’s understandable.

What about in your daily life? Applying the reasoning of time of useful consciousness to our daily choices can become a template by which to figure out how to best use the time we have.

You are point zero in your system; the place where you create all change in the system you are part of – for good or ill, intentionally or unintentionally. And, if you are not in good health, your ability to affect positive change declines.

You are a system, and your family is a system. Your community is a system. The world we all share is a system.

Make your affect a positive one. The best way to start? Make a commitment to becoming the change you wish to see in the world. Take a step into living the life you dream of, right now.

How to be Transparent in Parenting by Lasara Allen

Modeling is always the strongest message. You want your kids to be honest? How about you be honest, too?

What is transparency? The definition I like the most is; the quality that allows light to pass through, undisturbed. As a parenting metaphor, this is a great image; we’re transparent when there’s nothing clouding our interactions with our children.

Sex, drugs, money; they’re all topics that may have been avoided in your family of origin. But do you want your kids getting answers from the same unreliable sources you did? On the schoolyard, TV, your parents, the government?

The conspicuous silences in your communication are an OUT LOUD statement – about what’s inappropriate, shameful, unmentionable. If you want your kids getting different messages than the ones you were handed, make sure you’re giving voice to your opinions.

Normalize the topics that make you want to freeze up. Talk with your friends, talk with your trusted advisers; talk with your coach, your priest, your therapist, your doctor, talk with your parents, talk with your peers. Know that there’s a whole world of information out there. If you feel conflicted about your own ideas, educate yourself about different views.

If money was a hidden topic in your family and you feel that hasn’t served you in your quest for financial literacy, give your kids a head start by bringing them into alignment with your financial values. If you want your kids to know that sex is a thing to build clarity about, model it by having values-based conversations with your kids about how to define their own sexual values.

If your kids ask a question and you’re not ready to answer it, let them know you’re not ready to answer it. Never blame them for asking the question, but own your own discomfort.

With your nonjudgmental guidance and conscientious modeling, this process can begin before your kids are even bringing direct question to you for answers.

There is a line of balance – maybe it’s a tight-wire; don’t over share, or expect your kids to tell you all their deepest secrets. We all have a right to our boundaries, and our inner lives. But do create an environment where every question is valid, and every answer – even “I don’t know” – is too.

Here’s the bottom line; you want your kids to let you know what’s really happening in their lives? Let them into yours. You want your children to trust you enough to offer their transparency? Give them yours. You want your kids to be honest with you? Be honest with them.

Bonus Idea: Use my Sexual Ethics questionnaire for a tool that will help you find a starting place for these discussions. Write me at ms.allen@lasaraallen.com for your free copy.

GIVEAWAY: Natural Good Medicine Bath & Beauty Products

Welcome to the inaugural www.LasaraAllen.com giveaway! Review of products below the giveaway prizes and rules – add comments/entries below that!

GIVEAWAY:

There will be FOUR lucky prize winners. Prizes below:

Contest ends March 20, midnight Pacific time. Winners announced March 21.

Here’s how to win – read all the rules first! And, PLEASE ENTER EACH INDIVIDUAL ENTRY AS A ITS OWN COMMENT - that means one post for the first option, four posts for the second, and so on.

ONLY ONE REQUIRED STEP (Worth one entry.):

Go to The Good Medicine Shop, come back and post what Good Medicine product you like best. If you do not do this first step, your following entries will not be counted. This counts as one entry.

Additional Optional Entry Opportunities:

  • Write about this giveaway on your blog, and provide at least two links to this page in the entry – worth four entries. Post the link to your entry in the first of FOUR comments here. Enter three more comments, each saying only “blog entry” for a total of four entries!
  • Subscribe to my RSS feed, and comment that you have done so here. Yes, you can unsub later if it doesn’t rock your boath, but please give it a chance until the 20th. Enter this comment three times for three entries!
  • Tweet this contest. This counts as one entry. Each tweet posted and recorded separately here is worth one entry. @Yoga_mama when you do, so I can see the tweet, and make a comment here. No limit on entries in this category.
  • Facebook this contest. Each facebook update with a comment left here and recorded separately is worth one entry. No limit on entries in this category.
  • Come back as often as you like and mention other Good Medicine products you’d like to own. Worth three entries. No limit in this category.

Remember to come back to this blog to see if you’re the winner any time within one to three days of the drawing date. If you don’t, your prize will be forfeit, and another name will be drawn.

Winner will be chosen by the amazing Random Number Generator tool at Random.org.

******

IN-DEPTH PRODUCT/PRIZE REVIEW:

As a case-study competition winner at the Hot Momma’s Project in 2009, I was gifted a set of Good Medicine bath and beauty products, created by and available through Green Valley Spa.

At the time I received this amazing package, I was using beauty products from another line that’s advertised as treatment for adult acne and signs of aging. The Good Medicine packaging said nothing about neither aging nor acne, but worked far better than the other brand on both. I was having some pretty serious medication related skin problems, and I have regularly had dry skin which causes signs of aging. I’m not exaggerating when I say that my skin problems cleared up immediately.

breeze The travel collection consists of six products. the magical Breeze was an all-around miracle treatment. The rest pull neck and neck at second place. With Clarity face lotion, Radiance skin lotion, Honey Dew facial firming lotion, Ashes facial wash, Sand facial scrub, this travel kit covers the bases, and then some!

To my great joy, the package I was gifted was full of the large, 4 oz size containers, not the little ones! So is the gift we’re giving away here! These full size items sated me for months. The Breeze I used everyday for everything from burns to bites to blemishes, as well as the use it was intended for; skin toner!

All of the products work wonders alone or together. And my next order will include not only the travel pack, but also an extra order of Breeze.

Now my stash is gone, and I’m one sad girl. But, at $125 the price of the whole shebang is actually a steal. While many of us frugal mamas may not drop that much on ourselves in one shopping trip, if you add up the time the products last for, the quality and the quantity of the products, the pricing is competitive with drugstore prices. It doesn’t even get near boutique prices.

So, why buy chemical-laden drugstore products when you could buy clean, refreshing, effective products from Green Valley Spa’s Good Medicine line? Which brings me to one more lovely aspect of Good Medicine products; the packaging is glass! Better than recyclable, these wonderful little jars and bottles are reusable. Wash, dry, and they’re ready to hold sewing supplies, home-crafted tinctures or salves, or you may want to refill them with tonics or what-have-you at your local bulk-foods outlet.

ADDED ITEMS: Hydrating Eye Cream – AMAZING!!! I use it on all the lines (aka wrinkles) on my face, including around lips, and it works wonders immediately AND thru the day! I was more impressed with this eye cream than the fancy-schmanzy specialty name-brand stuff I tried from Sephora – and promptly sent back. It smells better, works better, and feels better – what’s not to LOVE?

The Muscle Balm also has immediate and sustained action, and is highly effective for treating aches and pains AND slight injuries from overworking a muscle group. YAY!

During these times of buckle-tightening, I find it comforting to know that we can deeply pamper ourselves, take care of the planet, and save money all at the same time.