Category Archives: Health and Fitness

Breaking Out of Isolation

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Lonely, by John Arsenault

There are lots of lonely people in the US. According to a study titled “Social Isolation in America: Changes in Core Discussion Networks Over Two Decades“ that was published in 2006, one in four Americans have not a single person in their lives with whom they discuss “important matters.” And, more than half of Americans have not a single confidant that is outside of their family. This means that nearly half the population of the United States qualifies as “extremely isolated.”

Isn’t that sad? So, start conversations. Ask people what matters to them. Standing in line at the grocery store, walking your dog in the park, dropping your kid off at school…choose one person and start a conversation with him or her. This may not lead to deep and lasting friendship, but who knows; it certainly could!

Want a starting point? Here are a few ideas:

1. Induce a positive state by thinking of a recent, really great experience you had. Recall as much detail as you are able; tastes, smells, colors, sounds, feelings. Then, turn it up. Intensify the memory. Make it brighter, bolder, yummier! This will put you in a really great mood, and moods can be caught more easily than colds!

2. Ask questions that matter. Okay, don’t dive in with “How’s your love life?”, but what about “How’s your family?”, “How’s your life?”. Work slowly and gently towards questions like, “What do you want more than anything?”

3. If all else fails, you can talk about the study I sighted above, or talk about this column. Tell your new friends that this is a homework assignment that’s designed to spread the healing effects of connection!

During these conversations, stay attentive to your new friend. Listen deeply. Follow your gut. Rely upon your senses to tell you when to go deeper and when to back off a bit. Listen to your body. Listen with your body. Listen deeply to their bodies, and their words. And watch the results blossom.

Looking Forward to 2011!

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Looking Forward to 2011!

(Instead of Resolutions, Try Dedications, Intentions, and WHY NOTs Instead.)

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Dedications:

Self:

  • To keep working toward my best over-all health:
    • Exercise.
    • Diet.
    • Rest and Relaxation.
    • Meditation.
    • Mental health hygiene.
    • To listen to my body.
  • To be gentle with myself.
  • To continue deepening my spiritual practice.
  • To continue falling more and more into alignment with my soul/sole purpose.
  • To prioritize my creative and professional life, in balance with personal and familial care.
  • To welcome the big 4 – 0 with open arms!
  • To continue teaching, writing, and doing my work in the world.

Family:

  • To HAVE FUN together!
  • To spend regular, dedicated quality time with my man.
  • To spend regular, dedicated quality time with each of my girls.
  • To spend quality time with my girls, as a unit of three.
  • To create more intentional, shared family time.
  • To do fun fitness things together.
  • To socialize more as a family.
  • To remember to give gifts of time, words, touch, things, and love to my loved ones.
  • To celebrate all the important family holidays, commemorations, anniversaries, and notable events with mindfulness, joy, and non-attachment.

Community:

  • To continue with my grateful giving projects – and to share that experience with others, including family and friends.
    • Blanket, socks, and jacket drive.
    • Project Pizza
    • ???
  • To continue finding and fostering new friendships.
  • To continue renewing and deepening relationships with old friends.
  • To make space for social time, and follow through with intentionality.

Intentions:

  • To take life less seriously, and have more ease.
  • To continue embracing “balanced” and “normal” as positives in my personal experience.
  • To allow my ‘platform’ to shift into this alignment, with me.
  • To welcome even more wealth, and more joy and ease in the having and sharing of it.
  • To reintroduce daily yoga practice into my life.
  • To rededicate myself to sitting meditation practice.
  • To share yoga and meditation with my kids and man more.
  • To create spaces for community to gather for fun and enrichment.
  • To re-introduce teaching and facilitating face-to-face in my work.
  • To spend more time taking little trips with the Mr., and with the family.
  • To finally complete a new book.

Why Not???:

  • Plan and budget for me and the Mr.’s belated honeymoon?
  • Finally get certified as a yoga instructor?
  • Get certified as a Zumba! teacher?
  • Pitch some of the big-name websites, like Huffington Post, Psychology Today…?

Thank you for being part of my circle, and witnessing me on the path. And thank you for allowing me to do the same for you. (Please post some of your dedications in the comments section below!)

May the coming year bring all of our sweetest dreams to flower and fruit. Peace, love, health, and wealth to you in this new year of a new decade!
-Lasara

A New – Or POST – New Year’s Tradition; Give Up Resolutions!

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— It’s Never Too Late to Try Dedications, Intentions, and WHY NOTs!

by Lasára Allen, www.LasaraAllen.com

Are you planning on making any resolutions for the coming year?

Many of us make New Year’s resolutions – and then fail. A whopping 88% of well-meaning New Year’s revelers will “fail” in achieving the resolutions they set out as a goal at 12:01 AM, January 1st.

Though I have almost always met with success in my new year’s resolutions, I think resolutions come from a somewhat limited, and limiting, perspective. So instead of resolutions his year, I’ve chosen to make lists of Dedications, Intentions and WHY NOTs.

But always with any commitment I make, New Year’s or otherwise, I include one cautionary caveat, which I encourage you to adopt as well; remember that while any marker – New Year’s day, the new moon, an anniversary, or your birthday – can serve as an activator for a commitment, every breath is a chance for a new choice.

When you “fall short” of a commitment, offer yourself compassion instead of self-denigration. Gratitude for a lesson learned instead of self-blame.

It helps me to think of my dedications, intentions, and wishes (my WHY NOT list) as practices. For me, practice means that though I’m not perfect at it (that’s why it’s called practice, right?), I can grow more committed to my practice every day, or even every moment.

“I can grow more committed to my practice every moment.” I find this a great phrase, prayer, or mantra to remember as needed.

In the list structure I’ve designed, each list category has a descending, or higher to lower, level of commitment. 1: Dedications; 2: Intentions; 3; The “WHY NOT?” List.

Here’s a quick, easy guide on how to build these lists, and a few examples per category.

List One; Dedications:

The Mirriam-Webster Dictionary offers four definitions for the word dedication.

1 : an act or rite of dedicating to a divine being or to a sacred use, 2 : a devoting or setting aside for a particular purpose, 3 : a name and often a message prefixed to a literary, musical, or artistic production in tribute to a person or cause, 4 : self-sacrificing devotion <her dedication to the cause>, 5 : a ceremony to mark the official completion or opening of something…

I think all of these definitions have relevance here. Dedications are like vows that I’m making with God, my family, my community, the flow of life in general. And my life in specific. Of the three lists described here, this one carries the highest level of commitment.

In building this list think of the things you truly are committed to enacting in your everyday life. Consider the ways you want your life to shift, the relationships you will reconfigure, the people you are responsible for or to.

Then set pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard, as case may be), and get writing. You can write out as many or as few as feels right. If your list gets too long, you can number each item by level of importance or resonance, and cut the ones that rank lowest.

Here are a few examples:

* To recognize that every area of my practice is an act of dedication to the liberation of all sentient beings pervading time and space.
* To recognize that mindfully and selflessly being of service to my husband, my children, my family, my friends, and my community is an inherent part of my spiritual practice, and to treat it as such. And, to remember that this is also a practice that engenders the attitudes of enlightenment that will lead eventually to the liberation of all beings.
* To continue following the path that my practices open for me.
* To build a circle of similarly minded friends in my community, and to actively commit to this as a practice of faith, desire, and love.
* To continue trusting that God has a plan for me that is greater than I can see, and that everyday I’m fulfilling that plan by living my life in accordance with my True Will, and with as much consciousness as I am capable of achieving.

List Two; Intentions

Mirriam-Webster has six definitions of the word intention. Of the six, I feel that the following five are all interestingly relevant in this case.

1 : a determination to act in a certain way : resolve, 2 : import, significance, 3 a : what one intends to do or bring about b : the object for which a prayer, mass, or pious act is offered, 4 : a process or manner of healing of incised wounds, 5 : concept; especially : a concept considered as the product of attention directed to an object of knowledge…

And here’s the etymology, thanks to etymonline.com;

intend c.1300, “direct one’s attention to,” from O.Fr. intendre “to direct one’s attention,” from L. intenderein- “toward” + tendere “to stretch” (see tenet). Sense of “have as a plan” (1390) was present in Latin. A Gmc. word for this was ettle, from O.N. ætla “to think, conjecture, propose,” from P.Gmc. *ahta “consideration, attention” (cf. O.E. eaht, Ger. acht). …

Intentions are thoughts, experiences and occurrences that you are casting forward into your future. Intentions may not take as much day-to-day attention, or may not be as interactive with others in your life. Whatever they are, for me they often have a lot to do with feeling-states and the outcomes of them.

Some examples of Intentions list items:

* To allow perfect abundance to enter into and flow in my life, and to have less attachment about how that flow occurs. To trust that God knows best how to deliver this abundance.
* To follow the attraction and direction of my heart with grace, trust, and joy.
* To invest in and develop forgiveness for myself and the harm that occurred in my past.
* More and more, to allow the support I so deeply desire.
* To take what I have learned of trust, honesty, and openness from my husband and begin generalizing it to the rest of the world.

List 3; The “WHY NOT?” List:

I got the idea for a WHY NOT list from Self Magazine actually. I thought it sounded like a great idea – to give myself the chance to dream big, and think outside the daily details of family, plans, life, family, service, love, did I mention family?

WHY NOT take a few minutes and get very self-focused?If you could do anything, what would it be? And remember, anything you truly desire, you most likely can pull off.

In my life I have found so much inspiration from people who have come up against challenges and beat the odds; a man with a prosthetic leg finishing a marathon in just over five hours. My dad being diagnosed with cancer and, instead of succumbing, actually choosing to live for the first time in his life. My sister, an amazing woman summited Mount Everest in her mid-40s.

This resilience and willingness to strive relies so much on a WHY NOT? attitude.

Even if you don’t complete all of them, just the willingness to reach for your WHY NOTs guarantees that you’ll have a great time in the coming year, and beyond.

Some of my WHY NOTs:

* Work toward my best comprehensive health in my life.
* Explore new religions. (Catholicism, traditional Tantra, deeper into Tibetan Buddhism and Tantric teachings and ritual.)
* Explore excavation of darkness and shadow, in the light.
* Go dancing.
* Take a dance class.
* Take a voice class

And, my final commitment; to view these lists at least once every three months, and mark off the things that actually have a completion point, and put stars next to the things I’m doing well with that are paths without destinations.

An often suggested tip that will help you keep to your commitments is the creation of an accountability system. This may be a one-on-one buddy system, a group, or even a public declaration with sceduled check in days. Share your Dedications, Intentions, and WHAT IFs with people who care, people who believe in you, people who will support you in your desired growth. And you can offer the same support back.

If you feel brave, you can allow this page to be part of YOUR accountability system. Feel free to post some (or all) of your Dedications, Intentions, and WHAT IFs in the comments section below.

With wishes of joy, abundance, and greatest gratitude, a very heartfelt prayer for a New Year that is beyond your sweetest dreams, from my heart to yours.

New Year’s Lazer Coaching Sessions – Start the New Year with focus and direction! * Mind, Body, Spirit Program – Three Week Program that will get your started on your path for 2011

Self-Care for the Holiday Season

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The holidays are upon us. No matter what your spiritual persuasion, you’re probably going to be finding time within this season of cold days and long nights to gather with family and friends, sit around the feast table, and celebrate some light in the darkness. What a wonderful thing!

But even so, the most joyful season still comes with holiday stress. And, between travel, shopping, parties, and family commitments, many of us don’t take very good care of ourselves in the midst of it all. During the holidays, most of us eat more – and more poorly. We exercise less. We let our spiritual practices slip. I mean, who has time to meditate? There’s a sale on, and I still have gifts to buy! (Right?)

The result; physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion.

In addition to the basic stressors listed above, the holidays are the loneliest time of the year for many. Depression rates increase in the darker months, and many people experience physical and psychological ills when faced with the prospect of gathering with family. (Ever heard of the Christmas Migraine? It’s a real thing.)

For a change, why not make a pre-New Year’s resolution? Dedicate yourself to defeating the stress and depression many of us associate with this time of year, before it even happens.

Remember your own self-care, and the rest will come easily; pleasure, enjoyment, and a healthful indulgence in the more lovely aspects of the season.

1. Eat With a Plan

The magic of the holidays doesn’t change the exercise/calories ratio. So, as usual, the more you exercise, the more calories you can take in without weight gain.

New studies show that though the amount of weight gained during the holidays is less than was assumed – around 1 pound gained between Thanksgiving the New Years – the weight gain is often long-lasting, if not permanent. On average, body weight in women increases by 5.2 percent in ten years. How much of that is holiday gain? It’s unclear. But, holiday munching is one culprit you can limit the power of by eating consciously, and entering the season with a plan.

If you’re in relatively good shape, your plan should include healthy eating choices, and balancing exercise with caloric intake. Don’t get neurotic about it, but pay attention. If your weight is already a health concern, your plan should be more intensive. And again, exercise is key to happy, healthy, guilt-free eating.

2. Exercise

Exercise keeps your weight down, and your heart healthy. As mentioned above, your holiday health plan must include exercise! There are many excellent reasons to include a solid dose of cardio in your regular plans. One reason, of course, is the exercise/calorie ratio. One pound of weight=3500 calories. So, as you keep track of your intake, you can tally, and exercise as needed to balance the indulgences.

Exercise is also a great treatment for depression, stress, anxiety, and seasonal affective disorder. According to a study published in the American Journal of Preventive Medicine in 2005, exercise is as effective as antidepressant medication for treating mild to moderate depression.

It’s also helpful in the treatment of Seasonal Affective Disorder. For treatment to be most effective, perform moderately intense cardio – exercise bike, treadmill, or other aerobic activity – for 30 – 35 minutes a day, 3 – 5 days a week.

If you’re on antidepressants, exercise is wonderful as a complimentary measure.

3. Take a Break

Take time to slow down. Relax into the rhythm that your body gravitates to in this dark time. Sit in the bathtub. Meditate. Pray. Greet the dark, and let it heal you.

Don’t forget to make time for sleep.

4. Spend Time with Those Closest to You:

In my little family, we plan our relaxation into the calendar, holidays or not. We plan chill time, family movie nights, and my husband and I religiously observe Tuesday evening as our date night.

Find some rituals that make sense to your and yours. Plan in and enjoy closeness with those near and dear in these coldest and darkest of days and nights. Tell and listen to stories. Watch the classic holiday films. Do crafts together.

5. Remember the Heart of What’s Most Important To You About the Season

What’s your favorite thing about the season? Is it friends, family, and gatherings? Who got or gave the greatest gift? Wassail and carols? Feeding the hungry? The lights and trees and sparkly things?

Whatever brings you joy make sure to keep it front and center. Focus on delight. Build your holiday around the parts that you, and those you love, find most important. It goes a long way toward keeping your holiday sane, sweet, and meaningful.

Need some help with your New Year’s Goals?

Sign up for Lasara’s Three-Week Mind, Body, and Spirit Renewal Program!

Finding Dr. Right

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Yesterday I had a first appointment with a new psych doc. Never something I look forward to, but just like the search for a good care-provider of any type – massage therapist, chiropractor, general practitioner, gynecologist – sometimes finding Doctor Right takes some time.

As with ending any relationship – getting fired from a job, losing a best friend, an ugly break-up – there’s often trepidation about starting a new one. And, the clinician/client relationship holds its own special challenges.

After years of dealing with a mental health diagnosis, and finally finding myself ready to deal with it the right way, I’ve learned a few things:

    1. I’m tired of my own story.
    2. I’m afraid of the power-differential between doctor and patient.
    3. I don’t ever want to work with a clinician who’s crazier than I am again.

That last one should be a no-brainer, right? But surprisingly (or not so) there are many totally loony-bins, whack-job, lunatic fringe, damaged goods psych providers out there.

Point number two is a Big Deal – probably for many of us. The invisible agreement that the doc knows better than I do about my wellbeing.

First there’s the pre-appointment stress. But after years of hectic fear of the first face-to-face, I’ve learned an important technique; I write down everything I need to make sure I say, knowing by now that if I get too rattled I forget important elements…really important elements…like relevant symptoms, or past meds that messed me up more than they helped.

Then there’s the fear factor that comes up; yesterday I cried before the appointment, because my previous clinician was such a med-pusher that I was on a chemically induced rollercoaster for six months!

Talk about building up the charge of an already stressful situation; learning to live with a life-long disability is no walk in the park. Add in basically coercive medication roulette, and you’ve got fear in a bottle. A pill bottle. Again and again.

Point number one…that’s a little more complicated.

During the interview/first appointment, there’s a kind of haphazard tossing out of (very intimate) details of my life, from early childhood to recent events. Here I am, telling a complete stranger details and memories I wouldn’t easily tell even my closest friend.

Then there’s the post-interview reflection; what did the stories I chose from my grab-bag of memories and anecdotes and tossed on the table say about me?

What about what I wore (whatever was clean enough, and fit the weather – not much more thought went into the decision than that) – how could that be read? Did my clothing mix with the self-revelatory, bite-sized pieces of my tore-up heart in a way that could have been read as compounding my apparent level of injury?

I’m happy – and more than a little relieved – to report that yesterday’s interview went well.

Dr. G—- asked the right questions, and made the right statements. He even made a joke. He asked how often my previous clinician had seen me. I told him, “Well, once a week to once a month.” He said, “Hm! I guess that you make an interesting patient!” We quickly agreed that I didn’t need to be that interesting to him.

I came out of my appointment with newfound hope; this doc let me tell him only the parts of my story that I needed to share. He didn’t press for more information on topics that I was recalcitrant about. He told me he cared less about diagnosis, and more about finding solutions. He told me he wasn’t afraid to speak up – and I saw that that didn’t mean he felt like the need to “speak up” when he really had nothing to say.

I left my appointment with Dr. G—- with a sense that I was in control of my treatment, if not totally in control of my disorder. (God only knows when, or even if, that will happen.) I left empowered enough to allow for the realization that this was his interview for a job I was hiring for, not the other way around.

Wow! A true “Eureka!” moment!

After this less-than-traumatic session with a brand-new-to-me doc, I realized that in the interim between my previous clinician and this new one, I had formulated an idea that I wasn’t even really consciously aware of about what I wanted in a psych doc.

These desired elements were, and are, a lot of the same things I want in any relationship in my life; clear communication, even when there’s a possibility of disagreement. Strength without force. Sensitivity. Mutual respect. Good, appropriate boundaries. The possibility of this becoming a long-term commitment.

I’m done with fly-by-night clinicians. I’m even MORE done with flying-by-the-seat-of-their-pants clinicians.

In the light of this newly forming clinician/client bond, I’ve already learned a lot. In my opinion, any increase in awareness provided by the meeting of two minds is a good sign.

I’m not going to jump the gun and say I’ve found “the one”, but I’m happy to say I have a pretty good feeling that this thing just might work out. And, I’m going to cross my fingers and hope that it does. Here’s to hoping!

Maybe, just maybe, I’ve finally found my Dr. Right.

Exercise is Not Optional

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(Wanna play yoga with us? Join our Community Yoga Experience – yoga everyday, from now until the autumnal equinox – Sept. 23.)

Physical exercise for me, from asana yoga, to running, to Pilates, to dancing, is not an optional part of my self-care. Yet I still act sometimes like it is. And end up back in the place that I find myself in, at this very moment; my spine aching in a certain place, one well known to me.

It’s the place where I start hurting when I’m not taking my physical practice as seriously as I need to.

That spot has moved over time, slowly moving up my spine like so much blocked kundalini. It was in my sacrum. Then it moved up to my floating ribs. Now it starts out as a whisper between my shoulder blades, mirrored by a pinch over my sternum.

When ignored, it slowly inches up my spine, working its way toward the base of my skull. Once it’s spread to my neck, it means I’ve waited too long, and now I’m healing from an injury, not preventing one.

But this injury is not one caused by over-doing. It was caused by NOT doing.

There are many points to physical practice for me. In the first place, to separate physical out from the other forms of practice is a blind. Physical is mental is spiritual is physical, etc.

On a more grounded level, my exercise regimen is one of the central focal points of my personal mental health treatment plan. Yes, I have one. Living with bipolar disorder makes a treatment plan a really good idea.

Bipolar disorder has edges to it. Along with my other mental-health commitments, regular exercise ameliorates many of the less-desirable ones. Depression is treated more effectively by physical exercise than by talk therapy. Mood stabilization is greatly increased by regular exercise.

When I exercise regularly, I feel better. And if I work up to it properly, the more I exercise, the better I feel.

There are many ways this works.

  • Exercise increases the release of feel-good chemicals in the neurological system.
  • When I make a realistic exercise commitment and stick to it, it’s good for my self-esteem.
  • When I exercise I feel stronger and more capable.
  • When I exercise regularly I feel better in my skin.
  • When I feel better, I look better, and when I look better, I feel better.

Some of these incentives to keep to a wellness regimen might seem shallow, perhaps, from the perspective of practice. Or at least something I might not want to admit to out loud – whether in a spiritual context, or in feminist circles.

While I believe our culture has an absolutely unrealistic and unattainable “beauty standard”, it still affects most of us. So, good, bad or neutral, I have to admit that my desire to “look better” is part of what fuels my personal commitment to fitness.

But that desire alone is not enough to predict follow-through.

It is only when I pull all the following elements together that my commitment becomes strong enough to withstand the lackadaisical attitude of indulgence that can so easily descend:

Body: health, fitness, feeling how I want to feel and looking how I want to look.

Mind: mental health, mood balance, energy, mood elevation.

Spirit: engagement with and in my body as spiritual practice, in itself. Coming conscious in the now of BEING. Finding the eternal in and trough the temporal.

Yet, even when all these are in play, sometimes my focus falters. I miss one day. And then another. And then another. And before I know it it’s been a week.

I obviously have a few lessons to learn here. And I know what at least some of them are.

1. The physical part of my practice is not optional.

2. Each time I forget that, and end up in the same place (shame, a sense of failure, and often physical pain, which adds in to the feeling of shame – because, goddamit, I know better than this!!!), I need to drop it, get back to the mat, or get out on the road, and put myself back in the game.

3. I can’t just start where I stopped. The older I get, the more careful I need to be in paying attention to what my body is capable of. Just because last time I did yoga I could touch my face to my shins in uttanasana doesn’t mean I can do it today. Whether “last time” was yesterday or a week ago, this it still true.

And, the final lesson, the biggest lesson in all of this, is temperance. Work hard, but not too hard. Be committed, but don’t over-reach.

When you fall off the horse, get back on. Don’t beat yourself up for falling. Just pick yourself up, dust yourself off, get back on, and ride.

You can’t just sit this one out; living in a body is not a spectator sport.

(Join our Community Yoga Experience – yoga everyday, from now until the autumnal equinox – Sept. 23.)

Learning to be Human

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Today I start with frustration. It’s not the topic I want to write about. I am dead-tired of self-introspective, self-indulgent, self-aggrandizing writing, yet here I am today, finding my self starting with my own self-indulgent expression of dissatisfaction.

Yesterday at therapy my (very awesome) therapist and I were talking about summer break. About how it’s easy for the kids, harder for the parents. The disruption of daily schedules. The breaking in of voices – pitching into the higher ranges as my kids get older,  the self-centered expression of teen-hood outranking the earlier experiences of differentiation by leaps and bounds.

But we got to the point in our conversation where we both agreed that time off was a good thing. That maybe we all deserved a break. A three-month vacation.

“Yeah.” I said. “I’d like a vacation from bipolar disorder.”

She laughed with me, and said, “Yeah, maybe that would make the rest of the year easier.”

To which I said, “Maybe. And maybe not.” Would it be easier to go back to this daily struggle after experiencing life without it? Would it be worth it to live for three months on even seas, and the rest on choppy waters?

My frustration comes in moments, sneaking up on me, of envy. Of watching people in the same work I was in when I was manic achieving at their full potential. And I get mad at the disorder that allowed both the energy to strive for my own expression, and the tendency to diverge from it. Projects half completed – book proposals written, and never published because of my incessant searching for the “Next Thing”.

And now, frustration at the side-effect of the mood stabilizers that allow me to live in relative peace and harmony with my daily responsibilities.

Except when desire arises, the desire to create, the desire to express, the desire to teach like I used to teach, and I find myself shackled to the need to maintain this steady ship that is my now more orderly, more ordinary, more stable life.

But to blame it all on the medication is unfair. The feeling of shackles that arises from time to time, yes. But my inability to offer at my fullest potential, what is that?

What is my fullest potential, the potential I am falling short of?

Waves of mania and depression caused a dual life. A life partially hidden, partially revealed.

It was not out of pride that I hid those moments of weakness, but out of self-defense. Being that vulnerable is not safe in a world that expects the world of you.

So I abdicated the role of teacher. Moved from the front of the room to the back, and slowly, quietly, exited the building altogether.

It’s not that I think spiritual teachers need to be perfect. Indeed, it is perhaps more important that they are not. And perhaps it is time for the teachers amongst us to unveil the basic humanity, the insecurities and failings that are the underpinnings of how we learn to teach.

According to his grandson, Arun Gandhi, Mohandas K. Gandhi asked repeatedly not to be called Mahatma, a word that basically means saint.

To paraphrase, he said that if he were called a saint, others would feel that being as he was and doing as he did would seem too out of reach.

So, perhaps in sharing my underbelly, perhaps in continuing to write, and to teach, in all my gore and gloriousness, in my moments of triumph and defeat, is actually offering myself at my full potential.

Indeed, if it is what I have to offer, it must be. If I were capable of offering more, I would offer more.

I have never been one for hero-worship. I kill the Buddha. Even in my most manic moments, I have never desired a pedestal. Perhaps a soapbox, but never a dias, never a throne, never a too-trusting and self-abdicating bow of the head at the flow of words that rush from my mouth or fingertips.

Engage with me. Here in the dirt of human experience, among the rough hard rocks and the fleeting, failing flesh of it all, I hope you can find it in you to allow for my wounds.

As a teacher, if I am such a thing, I request that you teach me. In vulnerability and strength, show me not only your best, but bring your worst. Teach me your inner story, share your moments of triumph and defeat, and your moments of glory.

Together we will learn what it is to be human. We will learn what it is to be holy and whole. We will learn to be perfectly imperfect, and imperfectly perfect.

Rumi says, “Out beyond our ideas of right and wrong, there is a field. I will meet you there.”

That field awaits us. The one where there is no teacher and student, or were everyone is both. Where there is no expectation of perfection as a prerequisite for wisdom.

There is no path. That field is only a thought away. In fact, it is here, now.

Update 2.19.10

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I haven’t written an update in a while. That’s because I hit a wall. And learned from it!

For two weeks, I could barely move from over training. I was tired and in pain. I decided I would reduce my miles, and started healing immediately. I’m now back to being able to run, and workout, without hurting myself. That is, run at a much lower mileage.

My big crash course education in all this is a lesson I have already learned again and again. Don’t over-reach. Stay within reasonable and healthy limits. Slow down.

So, out of all of this I made a big decision; I have decided to run the seven mile race instead of the half marathon.

At first my reasoning was that perhaps I’m just “not built” for distance running, or racing at all. What I have learned since I made the decision is that people train for a long time to get to the place I was trying to get to much too quickly.

It’s likely that had I not had to have an appendectomy in November, I would have been able to run the half marathon, no problem. Had I been running two miles daily, and then four, and then up to the training regimen I jumped into in the end of December – still with an aching side – I would have been able to pull off the half. Maybe not with flying colors, but the training wouldn’t have kicked my ass the way it did, for sure.

Now that I’m running the 7 mile, some of the ease has come to running. I’m doing some nice strength building. I’m back on my game.

Sometimes a smaller game is a better one. One you know you can complete. One you know you can stay on top of. One you know isn’t going to hurt you.

The big birthday gift has morphed; not a half marathon. A new sense of rapport in my physiology. A new sense of trust and love for the being that is me, amalgamated. Body, mind, spirit. All working toward one goal; better health, and joy in the process. The process is, after all, the true product. Every moment of it; as consciously as possible.

Huge thanks to Runners World for reinforcing my decision and making me feel smart instead of wimpy. Thanks to Born to Run (book, not song) for teaching me so much about what it takes to run, and how to do it right. Thanks to Beth for being my willing buddy. Thanks to me, for continuing to learn to listen better, and to respect limits when they come up.

And today I leave you all with a very smart post form Active.com, on how to incorporate hill running into your workouts. (Another thing I tried to roll into too quickly.)

I hope you can learn something from my experience! I know I have.

Update 2.7.10

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Another run with Beth – Yay Beth! We clocked two miles at:

Beth: 11:09/mile

Lasara: 12:11/mile

Pretty good, I say. Forgot the Red Bull again, and my lungs paid the price. Treated post run asthma attack with Astragalus, Herbal Expectorant Cough, and Yin Chiao. And hot Ovaltine with some extra Malt. Yum. The lungs feel better now.

My shake tastes faintly medicinal. Hmmm. Combo of anti- oxidant fruit juice and berry Emergen-C…and supplements are all surely to blame. Milk-base tastes better.

Wore regular running shoes today. Knee feels better. Arches sore.

Two mile runs rock. Time to adjust expectations. 7 mile in April instead of half marathon? Half marathon in fall…Beth’s down. Need to contact my sister and give her the news…unless she reads this first.

Looking forward to your comments.

Update 1.31.10

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Sunday run with Beth! They say the trail is 6 miles rt, but it is FOR SURE more. Not only that, but pretty brutal up and down, too. We did it though!

Still rockin’ the minimal support shoes. We ran at the lake today (Lake Mendocino) instead of by the house, so no concrete anymore – thank god! But I forgot to eat, forgot my pre-run Red Bull (asthma treatment – SERIOUSLY!), forgot my pre-run glutamine. :-/ Uhh…hm. Forgetting to eat. I know, it’s a bad habit. Esp. bad before a run! Had to hit the inhaler three times. Last time I forget the Red Bull!

Took us right around 2 hours…one of the reasons I know it was more than 6 rt. I did 5 on Thursday in 1:20. It was flat, but the same pace as today. Mix of running and walking.

I’m exhausted, but happy. Had my post-run shake with all my vitamins and supplements (lysine, vit. c, chromium picolinate, glucasomine chondroitin, and glutamine), plus milk, fortified chocolate Ovaltine, banana, green food, and protein powder. Pretty good stuff.

Cross training last night: awesome ~hour of yoga. Runners Yoga first, then night-time yoga. Good combo – up energy, than down.

Update 1.28.10

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Gratitude for Talib Kweli, my buddy Jamers and his pushing me on our run today, 5 MILES DOWN on a casual…, for a run on a the roads of my youth – a reminder of how miles were shorter whan I was young’un, even tho my legs were, too. The smell on my skin after an hour and 20 of running in fresh, living air. The beauty of the rocks covered with lush moss…

Update 1/25/09

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GOOD news; ran just OVER 6 miles (if the signs were accurate…)…

BAD news; I ran the OVER part because someone stole my bag I’d placed, slightly hidden by the trail. I didnt think anyone was crazy enough to be out there today besides me!

GOOD news: I left the keys in the car, not in the bag. (God told me to is the only answer I have for why.)

BAD news: my iPod was in the bag because it was messing up. Bye bye, iPod!.

GOOD news: The run was lovely, and the sound of creeks, birds andother animals were amazing.

iPod was in the bag because it was messing up. Bye bye, iPod! I hope whoever got my bag really NEEDED the lip stuff, gatorade, and the iPod more than I did. :-)

GOOD news: The run was lovely, and the sound of creeks, birds and other animals were amazing. More like creek running than trail running, BTW, but FAR better than concrete anyway. Yay!

P.S. Saw one of the biggest foxes I’ve ever seen.

P.P.S. Anyone have an iPod they want to hand off to me? ;-)

Bipolar Disorder: …It Sucks.

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http://www.LasaraAllen.com

Okay, I admit it; we bipolar folks can be a real handful. If you have close friends who live with bipolar disorder (BD), you’ve probably had a couple – or more – not-so-easy interactions with them/us.

This is my invitation to walk a mile in their/my shoes.

But before we go further, terms; I choose to say, “live with”, instead of “suffer” bipolar disorder. I would much rather live with than suffer pretty much anything.

And, though I do live with this disorder, I’m not reveling in it. I’m living with it. You won’t hear me saying “other abled” about BD, except jokingly. Bipolar disorder is a disability. One you live with.

Thus the title of my little article.

Kinda like:

“I’m sure that time when I disappeared in my car for a month without telling you where I was going was rough on you.

It was rough on me, too.”

When I was younger, the way I dealt with my symptoms was just that – to get in my truck and drive away until I could deal with my life again. When I pulled a “disappearing act,” as my mom would call it, no one had to see the weak, dark, tormented, vulnerable side of the hard-core, shaved headed, feminist that I was.

Especially when I was severely depressed, it was far easier to wander off like a wounded animal does, and care for myself. Lick my gashes – always at risk of gnawing off the offending limb.

At times I crawled under the covers, at times into a bottle, at times into bed with unseemly strangers, at times I drifted into and out of towns I had never been to and would never again see. A ghost in a substantial world; it made it easier – no story to stick to, no one to let down, absolute freedom to be where, and who, I was in that moment.

It may sound romantic. Until you think about the whole picture. Which is where a lot of people get stuck with understanding BD. You see me as outgoing, charismatic, strong, and edge-seeking. Or you see me as a loose cannon. Or you see me as overly sensitive. The truth is, just like you, I’m multifaceted. But with BD, many of those facets can become larger than life.

If I were to become “apologist” for BD, or if I were manic, this is where I would say; “It’s part of being me. I feel more. I see more. I do more. I taste more. My life IS larger than yours. You have no idea!”

That grandiosity is what we give up when we go on meds or find other ways to truly stabilized BD.

You know what else we give up? Never asking for help. We have to give that one up, too.

Parenting With Bipolar Disorder
When I had kids, the disappearing-act approach to my dealing with my disorder became both less inviting, and immeasurably less accessible.

At times, parenting is a challenge for anyone. Parenting with bipolar disorder is a horse of a different color. For many of us who live with bipolar disorder, even after receiving an accurate diagnosis it takes a while to learn what it means to manage the disorder. After all, BD by definition tends toward feeling (and often acting) out of control.

Becoming a parent requires getting a whole new perspective and handle on the disorder – whether diagnosed or not. This is where you come in.

How to Support Your Friends Who Live With Bipolar Disorder
A big turning point comes when we begin figuring out how BD shows up in each of us who lives with the disorder. It’s not a uniform experience person-to-person, and sometimes there are other circumstances thrown into the mix. And it is introspection and self-awareness that allow those of us who live with BD to ask for what we need.

Let’s do a role-play. Imagine I’m your bipolar friend, talking to you right now.
Here’s how to support me:

Educate yourself about bipolar disorder.
Read up on BD, because sometimes I get tired of trying to explain the disorder.

This is especially so when I’m symptomatic. When I’ve already called you a b*tch for trying to get me out of bed after five days, I’m not going to be able to tell you how to deal with my mood swings.

Ask me about how I experience BD.
If I’ve been open about my diagnosis with you, chances are I’m more than willing to talk to you about it.

It DOES NOT mean I’ve invited armchair analysis, or unsolicited problem solving.

Show me I can trust you. Show me you trust me.
Supporting me requires mutual trust, and agreements on appropriate feedback. Choosing the right word at the right time can make all the difference.

For instance, if I’m feeling paranoid and you yell, “You’re paranoid!” let’s just say it doesn’t help.

However, when you say, “I’m here for you. I’ll always be here for you. I’m never going to hurt you,” it reminds me that I’m taken care of, and my paranoia begins to subside.

And, if both you and I experience mood disorders, those agreements are even more necessary.

Ask me what you can do.
Sometimes I need a break. Sometimes I need a walking buddy. Sometimes I need some tough love. Sometimes I need tenderness. Ask me what I need.

If I have enough self-awareness at that moment, I’ll even be able to tell you what it is! But…

Don’t let me bulls#!t you.
If you’re a really good friend, sometimes you WILL know better than I do what’s good for me.

Ask me how I deal, and how I heal.
Once you know what my main coping methods are, you can support me in the ones that help me attain what stability is possible. You can help me to find my ground, and still safely encourage me to stand tall.

Sometimes it’s the everyday things that matter most. Brushing my teeth, taking a shower or bath, going for a walk. Unless you yourself have experienced depression, you probably have no idea how hard it can be to commit to carrying out these minor tasks. When it gets really bad, this can extend to eating, hanging out with my kids, getting out of bed.

The truth is, these are exactly the things that will keep me healthy, happy, alive. Eating well, exercising, interacting in healthy relationships, completion of basic daily tasks.

Get me out of bed, and – no exaggeration – you just may have saved my life.

Resources:

http://www.nami.org/

http://www.bipolar-lives.com/index.html

News About Long-Term Goals – the 2500th Marathon Anniversary in 2011! Race as Platform for Bipolar Advocacy & Education.

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I just found out the 2011 is the 2500th anniversary of the marathon! This is super cool, as my plan is to run a full marathon for my 40th birthday – in 2011! The fact it’s such a momentous occassion makes my goal that much sweeter. (See more on this soon.)

My other piece of news is that I have decided that I’d like to use my training as a opportunity to raise awareness about bipolar disorder (bp) and its affects. I’d like to help educate those who don’t have a lot of actual experience with bipolar or people who live with it as to the actual terrain of living with bp. In addition, I want to educate women who live with bipolar disorder (I prefer this wording to “suffer bipolar disorder), as to the helpful affects of exercise, and the process of aging with bipolar disorder.

You will see much more about all of this very soon, with donation links and sponsorship options all sorted out VERY soon.

Peace, love, and understanding!

Supplements I’m Starting With.

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Robert (the Mr.) just went out to meet the fedEx guy…I thought it was the Mr’s second cashmere sweater (wine colored v-neck! First was a black, double weight), a late delivery from Santa…

But he comes back in and says, “It’s a box of macho.” I was like, “What?” He says “It’s a box of macho for you.” I look up and it’s this big box of my new training supplements. (Chuckle!) YAY!!! New supplements. :-)

The “box of macho” coment I’m pretty sure was due to the big old
“BODY
BUILDING.COM”
logo all over the box. :-) (BTW, I HIGHLY recommend this site. It has a section for tracking your progress and building community support, and and the store has the best rates I’ve found for supplementation.)

Ah, feels like the old days. I never went pro with body building, but this race is inspiring me to some good, happy reminders of my youth. But I’m telling you, even at (only) 38, taking something like this (my half-marathon in April) on is a big deal. And the supplements are going to help. A lot. I hope.

One more supplement possibly needed: glucosamine for my joints. Although, I’ve done research also on increasing collagen production, also really good for the joints, tendons, ligaments AND skin elasticity (a major “mom” concern, as well as age and hormonal changes in women). The research I’ve found says Vit C + lysine is the best combo to allow your body to naturally synthesize collagen.

The supplements I’m starting with:

Glutamine helps with recovery, and is an easy energy source. It’s actually a really amazing amino acid.

Creatine helps endurance and muscle gain.

Chromium picolinate can be a weight loss aid and/or an “ergogenic” – cool word, huh? It means it helps with mental focus and physical tasks.

Know what’s fun? Learning all this stuff again. I love it. :-)

Lasára’s Progress Page – Races, Competitions, Goals Long- and Short-Term

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We can do it!This is my training updates page. And here’s the beginning of my training story:

Update, day two of training: Running with Elk

Completed the scheduled three miles! I had my appendectomy just over a month ago – and haven’t run in well over a month. Even before the appendectomy, I had fallen off the running wagon for a few weeks.

Today I took my run in the cold rain. (Not cold at all after the first half mile, though!) Something super cool that I just learned form my new favorite magazine, Runner’s World came in handy; chocolate milk is apparently the best after run drink – better than those sports drinks. Mmmm, hot cocoa after a wet run! And then a bath. Nice.

An added bonus from my lovely country home; on my run this evening, I saw seven elk. The largest had a 7-prong rack, the smallest two. They ran with me. Stopped when I stopped. Ran when I ran. We stared at each other. Eye contact with animals that huge is cool.

So I looked up the elk Totemic meaning here and here. Some relevant bits:

Elk are seldom seen alone, preferring to live in large herds. (I prefer to train with large herds!) This does not mean they don’t need some personal space. (I love running by myself, too.) An elk’s incredible stamina enables them to run for long periods of time, while their strong reflexes allow them quick response to anything in their path. Elk’s regal demeanor reminds us that if we are confident, we can claim our Empowerment. It teaches us to maintain and protect ourselves by taking time out. Elk realizes it is important to remain closely connected with community, and be observant of subtle energies.
-AnimalTotem.com

Stamina, Strength, Nobility. An Elk totem teaches you how to pace yourself.
You might not be the first to arrive,
but you will arrive without burning out.
Don’t try for quick and easy;
long and steady is the key to reaching your goals. If you have an Elk totem, you will feel the need for companionship
or group support.   You do not have to do everything alone,
help is out there waiting for you if you just ask for it.
-LindsDomain.com

Some excellent medicine for the beginning of training for my race! Thank you, elk!

Artwork courtesy of Jim Stuart (copyrighted)

***

Now that the elk have made themselves known as the guardians of this training and race experience, I am sure I can do it. I only have to pay attention to my body, keep it slow and steady, and share with my community. That’s YOU!

Come here to check out my (ideally daily) training reports in the comments area. Some will have stories lie this one, some will be very grounded in the physical, like weigh-ins, measurements, and half marathon and full marathon training program adherence reports.
Are you also training? Feel free to post your progress reports. It’s always more fun with a group – the more the merrier!

If any thing is sacred the human body is sacred.
Walt Whitman

Self-Care for the Holiday Season

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Self-Care for the Holiday Season

Lasára Allen, MPNLP, http://www.LasaraAllen.com

The holidays are upon us. No matter what your spiritual persuasion, you’re probably going to be finding time within this season of cold days and long nights to gather with family and friends, sit around the feast table, and celebrate some light in the darkness. What a wonderful thing!

But even so, the most joyful season still comes with holiday stress. And, between travel, shopping, parties, and family commitments, many of us don’t take very good care of ourselves in the midst of it all. During the holidays, most of us eat more – and more poorly. We exercise less. We let our spiritual practices slip. I mean, who has time to meditate? There’s a sale on, and I still have gifts to buy! (Right?)

The result; physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion.

In addition to the basic stressors listed above, the holidays are the loneliest time of the year for many. Depression rates increase in the darker months, and many people experience physical and psychological ills when faced with the prospect of gathering with family. (Ever heard of the Christmas Migraine? It’s a real thing.)

For a change, why not make a pre-New Year’s resolution? Dedicate yourself to defeating the stress and depression many of us associate with this time of year, before it even happens.

Remember your own self-care, and the rest will come easily; pleasure, enjoyment, and a healthful indulgence in the more lovely aspects of the season.

1. Eat With a Plan

The magic of the holidays doesn’t change the exercise/calories ratio. So, as usual, the more you exercise, the more calories you can take in without weight gain.

New studies show that though the amount of weight gained during the holidays is less than was assumed – around 1 pound gained between Thanksgiving the New Years – the weight gain is often long-lasting, if not permanent. On average, body weight in women increases by 5.2 percent in ten years. How much of that is holiday gain? It’s unclear. But, holiday munching is one culprit you can limit the power of by eating consciously, and entering the season with a plan.

If you’re in relatively good shape, your plan should include healthy eating choices, and balancing exercise with caloric intake. Don’t get neurotic about it, but pay attention. If your weight is already a health concern, your plan should be more intensive. And again, exercise is key to happy, healthy, guilt-free eating.

2. Exercise

Exercise keeps your weight down, and your heart healthy. As mentioned above, your holiday health plan must include exercise! There are many excellent reasons to include a solid dose of cardio in your regular plans. One reason, of course, is the exercise/calorie ratio. One pound of weight=3500 calories. So, as you keep track of your intake, you can tally, and exercise as needed to balance the indulgences.

Exercise is also a great treatment for depression, stress, anxiety, and seasonal affective disorder. According to a study published in the American Journal of Preventive Medicine in 2005, exercise is as effective as antidepressant medication for treating mild to moderate depression.

It’s also helpful in the treatment of Seasonal Affective Disorder. For treatment to be most effective, perform moderately intense cardio – exercise bike, treadmill, or other aerobic activity – for 30 – 35 minutes a day, 3 – 5 days a week.

If you’re on antidepressants, exercise is wonderful as a complimentary measure.

3. Take a Break

Take time to slow down. Relax into the rhythm that your body gravitates to in this dark time. Sit in the bathtub. Meditate. Pray. Greet the dark, and let it heal you.

Don’t forget to make time for sleep.

4. Spend Time with Those Closest to You:

In my little family, we plan our relaxation into the calendar, holidays or not. We plan chill time, family movie nights, and my husband and I religiously observe Tuesday evening as our date night.

Find some rituals that make sense to your and yours. Plan in and enjoy closeness with those near and dear in these coldest and darkest of days and nights. Tell and listen to stories. Watch the classic holiday films. Do crafts together.

5. Remember the Heart of What’s Most Important To You About the Season

What’s your favorite thing about the season? Is it friends, family, and gatherings? Who got or gave the greatest gift? Wassail and carols? Feeding the hungry? The lights and trees and sparkly things?

Whatever brings you joy make sure to keep it front and center. Focus on delight. Build your holiday around the parts that you, and those you love, find most important. It goes a long way toward keeping your holiday sane, sweet, and meaningful.

About the author:

Lasára Allen, MPNLP, is a game designer (www.GratitudeGames.com), author, educator, and coach. She helps clients find balance in their lives, and alignment with personal and family-held values. She teaches and coaches internationally. Lasára is Mom to two amazing daughters, and wife to Robert Allen, an outstanding man. Find more of Lasára’s writing at http://www.LasaraAllen.com, and more about Lasára’s gratitude projects at http://www.TheGratitudePlace.com.

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