Thanks and Thanksgiving – Gratitude is a Gift, and so is Remembrance

Most of us know something about the far-from-glorious fall-out that followed that first, mythical “Thanksgiving Day”. It’s easy enough to get attached to the negative political connotations of this holiday, and to have Thanksgiving become “Guiltfast” or “Guiltfest”.

In no way do I want to belittle the horror and carnage that followed the “founding of a new land” (new to whom?) as manifest destiny was used as an ideological weapon that allowed the settlers to push westward, killing and being killed, and irrevocably changing the fabric of a nation forever.

The inarguable atrocities occurred for hundreds of years, and continue to this day. The Trail of Tears (or, “Nunna dual Tsuni” in the Cherokee language; The Trail Where They Cried)“Americanization” of Native peoples. Broken treaties.

However, we can also believe – or at least hope against hope – that there was, once upon a time, that first gathering of thanksgiving, where the newcomers, out of a deep sense of gratitude and recognition, invited the native people to share a feast with them in thanks for the help that had allowed the settlers to survive their early days in a new land.

This coming together of openhearted and grateful sharing is the spirit I attempt to enter into the holiday with. This, and the belief that it’s worth dedicating at least one day out of the year to the practice of gratitude.

Thanksgiving day does not need to be a political statement. I’ll go even further and say that though the institutionalization of the federal holiday may have originally been a political move, the observation of the holiday has become one of that is patently apolitical. And while the original wording of the proclamations that the Thanksgiving holiday is built upon were Christian in intent, the observation has become more or less secular.

Today, for most Americans, the spirit of Thanksgiving is one of inclusion. Pagans, and even Atheists celebrate Thanksgiving. It’s a chance to take inventory of our lives, an opportunity to consciously reflect upon and share the things we are truly grateful for with friends and family. And a time to indulge in the fruits of our harvests – literal or metaphoric – by way of a large feast, often brought together in a stone-soup or potluck manner.

Like so many of the celebrations of the darkening season, this feast is both a recognition of bounty, and a practice of faith. Faith that through shared abundance, there’s no winter that will be hard enough that we don’t get through it. And at the basic, beautiful, mundanely rooted nature of it, the actual bounty is in no way metaphoric, but is wholly celebratory.

Perhaps somewhere in these days leading up to the holiday you’ll take some time to reflect on the history of the native people of these lands, because this dark side of the history of this nation should never be forgotten – and all too often, it is.

Perhaps you will educate your children about the shadows that dwell behind the images of Pilgrims and turkeys that adorn their classrooms, because their teachers are not going to. Maybe you’ll take a moment of silent prayer, or maybe even shared prayer, in recognition of the hidden history of the Indian Wars and the cultural genocide of the native peoples of this country before (or even at) your Thanksgiving gathering – because until there’s a federally recognized Indigenous People’s Day proclaimed, this is one of the few days out of the year that reminds us of our national shadow history.

And, maybe the awareness of what you’re grateful for will serve as a reminder to offer what you can to those who have less.

And, I hope you’ll begin counting your blessings. Because once you begin counting, you won’t be able to stop.

On Thanksgiving, you have an opportunity to recognize not just the bounty of your table piled high and your cup running over, but also the wealth of community, family, and abundance of all forms. And the more conscious you become of what it is that you’re grateful for, the deeper your experience of the holiday of Thanksgiving will be.

Some Thanksgiving Fun and Games:

A Gratitude Round Robin – Gratitude Games * A Grateful A to Z – A Gratitude Game for Kids of All Ages

Read My Other Gratitude and Thanksgiving Related Posts:

Five Ways to Engage Your Kids in Grateful Giving * How to Create a Gratitude Altar * The Benefits of Gratitude in Family Life *

A Gratitude Game – Gratitude Round-Robin

Definition of Terms

a. Round is a go-around where everyone in a group gives their answer.

b. Round-Leader is the facilitator of the round. This position transitions at the conclusion of each round. The role of round leader can go to the person who wants it next, or you can pass the role in the round, either to the left or right. If a player does not want to be a round leader, they can pass.

Basic Guidelines:

a. Never force, “cajole” , or pressure any player into responding to any prompt. “Pass” is always an acceptable response.

b. The main rule is: Answer from gratitude. BE GRATEFUL!

c. Always give the person who is offering their gratitude the floor. Do not interrupt them, question them, or quiet them. If you’re playing this as a family, it’s especially important that you allow one another the full range of voice.

Round-Robin:

Sitting in a circle, or around a table, one person starts with a statement of gratitude, then everyone else in the group follows one-by-one. The group can set guidelines as desired.

Some possibilities:

  • Stay within a theme for each round.
  • No repeats per round. (For example, if someone says they’re grateful for family, someone else may say they’re grateful for a person IN their family, but not repeat the more general idea.)
  • Staying with one idea for every round (like, the round-leader says they’re grateful for apples, then everyone in the round says why they’re grateful for apples).

A Grateful A – Z — A Gratitude Game for Kids of All Ages

When I was a kid, we played alphabet games in the car to pass the time on long drives or road trips. I’ve recreated one of those games, with a gratitude theme. A Grateful A to Z includes players of all ages – from talking age up.

A Grateful A to Z is an adaptable game. Variations are listed below. For young players, A Grateful A to Z serves two purposes; it teaches both language skills and gratitude! And, with older players, there are ways to make A Grateful A to Z more complicated.

You can choose a category, or allow A Grateful A to Z to be free-form. Free-form is recommended for younger players, and is easier than working with a category. Themes or categories are recommended for more advanced players.

1. Definition of terms:

a. “Round” is a go-around where everyone in a group gives their answer to the category, or passes.

b. “Round-Leader” is the facilitator of the round. This position transitions at the conclusion of each round. The role of round leader can go to the person who wants it next, or you can pass the role in the round, either to the left or right. If a player does not want to be a round leader, they can pass.

2. Basic Guidelines:

a. The main rule is: Answer from gratitude. Be GRATEFUL!

b. Never force, cajole, or pressure any player into responding to any prompt. “Pass” is always an acceptable response.

c. Always give the person who is offering their gratitude the floor. Do not interrupt, question, or quiet them. If you’re playing this as a family, it’s especially important that you allow one another the full range of voice.

Remember, you can print out these directions, or you can upload them to your palm-top and not print at all. Please keep your “footprint” in mind when considering your options.

Variations and Detailed Guidelines:

A Grateful A – Z, Freeform:
The round leader starts a round with the phrase “I’m grateful for…”, and chooses anything starting with an A. The round leader can pass the prompt either to the right or left. The round ends when the alphabet ends. You can make it more complicated by offering a “no repeats” guideline.

A Grateful A – Z, with Themes:
Round leader comes up with a theme – people you’re grateful for, things you’re grateful for, inventions you’re grateful for.

Enjoy playing A Grateful A to Z with your family this holiday season!

Lasára Allen…author, educator, activist, coach.

Lasara Firefox AllenTopics: parenting, relationships, family, advice, fitness, yoga, health & holistic well-being, gratitude, compassion, and spiritual practice, gratitude games, gratitude journal, science of gratitude, health benefits of gratitude, family, parenting, communication, compassion, spirituality, health, wholism, sustainability, positive globalism, giving, health and fitness, running, fitness, exercise, yoga, Pilates. Nonfiction, self-help, how-to, advice.

Thank you for visiting my site! I look forward to interacting with you. Check out the articles. Read, comment, reprint (with credit and links intact!), enjoy!

Use any of these articles as copy for your blog, website, newsletter or e-zine. Let me know about the reprint by sending a note to lasara.allen.mpnlp@gmail.com. Please include all links and Lasára’a bio (below) in all reprints.

You’re always welcome to contact me with thoughts, requests for info, invitations to present at e-conferences, teleseminars, seminars, for speaking engagements, or other reasons I may not have thought of! Please drop me a note at: lasara.allen.mpnlp@gmail.com.

Bio:

Lasara Firefox Allen is an internationally published, best-selling author, educator, and activist. Her book Sexy Witch (Llewellyn, 2005, under the name LaSara FireFox)) is published in four languages and distributed globally. Lasara’s latest print publication is The Pussy Poems, which is both a personal and political statement on the state of the cooch (and a women’s right to reproductive choice) in the USA. Her writing is feature in numerous anthologies, textbooks, and print and on-line journals and zines.

Lasara’s writing covers a range of topics including relationships and intimacy, family, parenting, communication, sex and sexuality, feminism, media literacy as it relates to body-image and self-esteem, writing, yoga, health & holistic well-being, mental health and bipolar disorder, gratitude, compassion, and spiritual practice.

She is a respected speaker, teacher, and facilitator, and has a selective and thriving coaching practice.

Married to the love of her life, Robert Allen, and mother to two amazing daughters, Lasara and her family live in the wilds of northern California. They surround themselves with a community of loving, like-minded souls.

Find out more at www.tattoosandtomatoes.com, https://www.facebook.com/lasara.firefox.allen.mpnlp, www.tarotwithlasara.com, and www.thepussypoems.com.

MORE ABOUT LASÁRA:

Read more about Lasara at Wikipedia.

Listen to Lasara’s Raising Grateful Children Teleclass here.

Lasara’s past podcasting:

Yoga Mama Satsangha
Some topics: The Quiet Revolution – Beyond Sharing the Housework * The Importance of Daily Practice 
Yoga Mama Satsangha; When Values Clash…
 * LaSara interviews Anna Getty of the illustrious Getty Family, and founder of Pure Style Living and Pregnancy Awareness Month (PAM). * and more.

Wisdom Being in Work
Wisdom Being in Work, LaSara interviews Ariel Gore, prolific author and founder and former editor of Hip Mama Magazine. * LaSara interviews Christine Comaford-Lynch.

Winner:
Hot Mommas Project – mentoring for women and girls; international case study competition, 2008 – 2009

Nominations:
Shorty Award, #literary category, 2010
S
Shorty Award, #gratitude category, 2009
Persevering Business Woman of the Year, 2009
California Outstanding Women of the Year, 2009

Neuro-Linguistic Programing Affiliations:
Pure NLP/Society of NLP with Richard Bandler; NLP Trainer Training
Hawkridge Training Institute with Phil Farber; NLP Master Practitioner Training
NLP California with Tim Halbom; NLP Practioner Training

Doing Our Part to Safeguard the Ecological Heritage of Future Generations

See below the text box for our other green business policies, and ways that you, too, can reduce your carbon footprint.

We Sell Primarily Green Products, and Our Services are Green, Too
  • Gratitude Games, our primary product is download only – zero-waste product; no shipping waste, no manufacturing waste.
  • Telephone-based coaching and teleclasses are a greener option than their in-person counterparts.
  • We are moving towards e-books, and away from print materials.
  • We choose primarily green and eco-conscious partners to work with, and as often as possible use ecologically sound third-party companies to create our products.
  • Contrary to Popular Sentiment, it IS Easy being Green!
    Gratitude Games are Green!

    The crew who brings you Gratitude Games are grateful for a healthy global environment. And we want to do our part to safe-guard the ecosystem for future generations.

    So Gratitude Games are green products. No shipping, no handling, no packaging = no waste! A download link is sent immediately upon purchase.

    Go GREEN; it’s is as easy as 1, 2, 3!
    1.    Visit download page – sent to you when you order.
    2.    Download files.
    3.    Print items or play from your computer.
    The technical details of buying GRATITUDE GAMES green: a high-speed internet connection all that’s required.

    Five Reasons to Go Green with Gratitude Games

    • Combat the waste of shipping; each mile a product travels to get to shop, or to your house, or a shop then your house, leaves a carbon footprint.
    • Eliminate the packaging required for shipment. The overnight shipping industry alone uses over a billion envelopes and packages a year. (See below the text box for more details.)
    • You can print the items as green as you like – if your home or home office is fully green, than so is your product! If you have a paper/printer-free office, you can have them printed by a local green printer, or the nearest superstore. Your choice!
    • Reduces manufacturing cost, saving you – and us – money.
    • Reduces manufacturing waste; when lots are manufactured, there are pieces that may or may not sell, and all the packaging that goes along with each piece. With downloads, only what you need to print is printed, so there’s no unnecessary waste.

    The overnight shipping industry uses more than a billion shipping envelopes and boxes each year. This packaging not only creates significant solid waste after its use, but its production also requires large quantities of paper and plastic, uses energy and water, and produces both air and water pollution.

    Our Green Business Practices

    Paper-Free Office:

    • If U.S. businesses cut office paper use by only 10%, it would prevent the emission of 1.6 million tons of greenhouse gases (the equivalent of taking 280,000 cars off the road).

    If you aren’t ready to go paper-free, recycle! Recycling 1 ton of paper saves:

    • 17 mature trees.
    • 7 thousand gallons of water.
    • 3 cubic yards of landfill space.
    • 2 barrels of oil (84 US gallons).
    • 4,100 kilowatt-hours (15 GJ) of electricity; enough energy to power the average American home for five months. (Citation: wikipedia)
    Printer- and Fax-Free Office.

    • No e-waste; printers and faxes, in addition to computers, create electronic waste. (See links below for more about the e-waste problem.)
    • No ink cartridge waste.
    Energy Use Reduction:

    • We use very little heat – in the winter time we move most of our operations into a family space that’s already warmed, to reduce heating use.
    • Turn off lights when not in use.
    • Turn off all appliances not in use.


    Host a Gratitude Gathering!

    Circles of Girls at Solomon's Pools, Bethlehem, PAL

    Photo credit; Khalid Arar Schawabkeh

    How to Host a Gratitude Gathering!

    by Lasára Allen, MPNLP

    1. Choose a date!

    What date makes you want to practice gratitude? You can choose Sunday, and have it be your church. You can choose the new moon, and have it be the beginning of a new cycle. You can choose your birthday, and have it be the way you begin your personal “new year”. Or, you can choose a random day, and proclaim it Gratitude Day!

    You can hold monthly Gratitude Gatherings, or even weekly. You can plan them around holidays. You can start with one, and see how often you want to repeat the experience.

    2. What’s Your Theme?

    What do you want your gratitude fest to include?

    If you want to include a meal, you have a few options. You can offer a meal you prepare. You can make a meal together as part of the party. Or, you can hold a potluck.

    Offering a meal is a lovely gesture, a great gift to offer your loved ones. This is going to be a more contained experience most likely than some of the other options. You will need to know how many people are coming so you can prepare adequately. With a dinner party setting, the gratitude games can easily be the main focus of the event. Or, you can draw some of the elements mentioned below in as well.

    A meal made together is an extraordinary experience of alchemy, transformation. You create together out of raw materials, and you can play the Gratitude Games while you make the meal, investing each element with the intentions of your gratefulness. This is a wonderful, magical way to celebrate your collective wealth, creativity, and abundance.

    A potluck is the easiest if you want to have an open invitation, free-flowing event. The food will be less of a focus, but part of the overall experience of gratitude and collective abundance.

    You can add in a Potlach ceremony – it’s also called a Give-Away. Potlatch comes from the indigenous people of the Pacific Northwest coastline. In a potlatch, you give away your belongings as a celebration of your abundance. In North Western native culture, the potlatch consisted of every household in the community putting belongings outside for the taking. The one who gave the most (as opposed to the family who had the most) gained the highest status.

    In native culture, this ceremony was undertaken for many reasons. All had to do with the redistribution of wealth. Not everyone had material possessions to offer, and some offered dances or songs instead.

    Invite guests to bring belongings, and everyone can give them away, and receive items from the other piles.

    In addition to being an achingly beautiful traditional ceremony, this is a great way to reduce our carbon footprint. A give-away allows us to reduce waste, clean out storage and closets, and saves each participant the money, time, and by-product of a shopping trip, by way of new-to-them belongings.

    The left-over items from your give-away may be given to the charity of your choice. For instance, I recently hosted a give-away, and offered all the left-over items from the party to a rummage sale that benefited extra- curricular activities at the local elementary school. Another time we brought the extra to the local homeless shelter and women’s crisis center in our town. Talk about sharing the wealth!

    You can host a grocery drive as part of your gratitude gathering, and give the food to your local shelter, soup kitchen, or hospice center. You can have a raffle, and give the money you raise to the cause of your choice.

    You can use the fest as an opportunity to educate your community about a community in need, and celebrate your wealth by sharing it!. You can offer information about Grameen, Kiva, and other micro-financing companies. Or choose a few loans beforehand that you want to join in to support, and help someone in a less economically privileged country create a sustainable income.

    Of course, you can play Gratitude Games throughout.

    Gratitude can be implemented in many ways. Bring your gratitude into the world, and make something grand of it.

    3. What friends are you grateful for?

    Who of your friends would most enjoy practicing gratitude with you? Make a list of the friends you want to share your grateful life with, and invite them to your celebration.

    For your consideration: I encourage you to invite your guests via electronic means instead of paper invites, as some things I’m grateful for are a healthy planet, and healthy forests. Less waste, more breath!

    Author Bio:
    Lasára Allen is an author, an educator, and an advocate. Her articles cover a range of topics including gratitude, parenting, relationships, fitness, yoga, health & holistic well-being, compassion, and spiritual practice. As an advocate, Lasára writes and speaks about living, parenting and working with bipolar disorder. In 2008 she designed GratitudeGames..

    Over the years, Lasára has helped clients and students find balance in their lives, and alignment with personal and family-held values. She has taught, spoken, and coached internationally.

    Lasára is mom to two amazing daughters, and wife to Robert Allen, an outstanding man.

    Find more of Lasára’s writing at http://www.LasaraAllen.com, and more about Lasára’s gratitude projects at http://www.TheGratitudePlace.com.